Gone... My rosin is gone... It shattered into many pieces when it dropped off from Xin Yi and Hong Kun's music stand on the afternoon of our Musical Epoch Concert 2005. So sad. Now I need to buy a new rosin, which costs like about $15 (depending on the brand)! For a small round piece of rosin, that's really expensive. Ah well, I'll just drop by Yamaha someday.
We finally played Xing Kong (Starry Night) for the first time with the full orchestra today. IT'S SO NICE!!! I love it! But there's definately plenty of room for improvements. It's such a slow and emotional song. I really hope we can make it. Pray.
What a day. So frigging depressing can. I was just flipping through the past entries of my diary and 99% of them either starts off with "I'm so frickin' tired", "It's a such a depressing day..." or "Today is another one of those worst-days-of-my-life". I'm talking about entries concerning year 2005.
We had another meeting today. The atmosphere was so depressing. Everyone looked so dejected and despondent. Sectionals was no better and I almost dozed off in a sitting position coz I was so exhausted, both mentally and physically. I feel so weighed down now and just thinking about the endless piles of unfinished homework which teachers are still continuously dishing out, I just feel like crying.
I just feel so down in the dumps. After CO, we had yet another meeting, which lasted for quite a long time. Then I didn't feel like going home. Band was just released then, so I went off with Aiysha. We went Century Square for a while and I began looking for books of hope and encouragement, as well as inspirational books. I needed them badly. But yeah, they're just too expensive for me to buying them on-the-spot.
After that, I just didn't feel like going home yet. All I wanted to do then was to go to some serene, peaceful and calm place, like the beach, but it was too late. I boarded the bus reluctantly and reached home at 8.17pm.
CO aside. Teachers are dishing out homework and tests like... like... free pamplets or brochures. At this rate, I'm gonna end up at the Institute of Mental Health very soon. I feel so suffocated by the amount of workload, I can't breathe. Speaking of which, I'd better go now, I've got a Physics Test tomorrow.
Musical Epoch was great! Well, except for the Erhu Ensemble piece: Chang Shan Ge. Early that morning, I actually woke up without the aid of my alarm clock screaming into my ear. I set my alarm at 8.30am, and voila, I woke up of my own accord at 7am. That is quite a miracle coz I'll usually doze on like a pig until around 10+ am without my alarm clock making its presence known.
So anyway, I was really hyper yesterday. I don't know, I couldn't stop fidgeting and moving around. We took quite a number of pictures in school and in Dunman High School. Then we had a final rehersal, where I finally heard Chu Yuan play his gu zheng and was dumbstruck. He is so GOOD!!! Oh my goodness, I never knew he could play like that! It's the first time I've ever seen him so into music and so serious while playing. Anyway, after we finished our rehersal, we had dinner. And like one quarter of the audience has already arrived. I saw my parents. And Aiysha! We ran towards each other and colllided rather painfully, so to speak.
Then we had to get seated on stage by 7.20pm. My section was already at the side, waiting to go on stage, but no one was on stage, and it's weird. Then the Pipas went on stage, so we did too. Yeah, then everyone got on stage, the Emcee began talking and the CO video was played. So touching. But ok, I looked pretty stupid. Then we began with Jing Chu Xiong Feng and Di Tanjong Katong. Then the Erhu Ensemble: Chang Shan Ge.
Ahhh!!! Usually, we could play it well. But today, everything was a mess! The pulse was running, everyone was rushing. Shawn started out slow then we rushed and he had to follow us. All in all, it was... MESSY!!! Ah well, it's over.
Then my section had a long long break... We hung around the CO room, practised a bit, talked, snapped photos, walk around, felt kinda depressed about Chang Shan Ge and etc. Finally... it's Chang Cheng Sui Xiang (The Great Wall Capricco). The final piece, also our SYF Choice Piece. Yeah, that was okay. Then the conductor got a bouquet of chocolates, which he passed to a bewildered and confused me. Then the audience began shouting "Encore" then Zheng Lao Shi came out again and we played "Xing Nian Ge Er Da Jia Chang". He even made the audience clap along. And then, the concert was over. In the blink of an eye. It was so fast...
Months of hard work... Hours of practices... All over in just two short hours. I'm left with a bittersweet feeling.
Tomorrow is the day. Yeap. THE day. Of our Musical Epoch Concert 2005. It's also one of the prime reason of my frustrations, anger, stress and pressure these few days.
This has a been a terrible week. Since school re-opened, life has been terrible, but this week is... well, beyond terrible. I had like an emotional breakdown and cried a bit in front of my junior. Which was, not to mention, extremely embarrassing, especially since I was in the Artroom in school.
The concert has somehow created a lot of problems, regarding the attire, especially the ties, all the last minute work with all the programme booklets which I had sacrificed my recess to do. And of course, the bombshell which our teacher dropped on us one fine Tuesday afternoon. That, I will not touch on.
With powers, comes great responsiblities. With great responsibilities comes great stress. Sigh, being SL and Score Librarian drives me insane. Being SL is fine. But I don't think I'll ever wanna be a Score Librarian again. It gives me white hair.
I just had my dinner. Yeah, at this time. Apparently, everyone was so busy with their own work that time flew by unnoticed and no one seemed to be hungry.
So, anyway, first thing in the morning after I woke up, I had 3 hours of A-Math tuition. My brain promptly mal-functioned soon after. Then I began slacking and listening to songs before my mum got irritated seeing me on the computer and decided to chase me to the study to do my homework. So off to the study I went and whipped out my Biology textbook to make notes on Homeostasis, with Russell Watson blasting away on my CD player in the background.
After a couple of hours and 6 pages of notes, my brain died on me again. But thankfully, I had already finished making notes on Homeostasis. So I went downstairs and played my violin. I practically ran through all the scales (well, maybe not all), chromatics, arpeggios and whichever random song I felt like playing.
I felt like slacking, but my conscience kept nagging at me. SO... I got out a pile of newspapers and began sifting through them for articles for my Social Studies assignment. Some time later, my youngest sister seems to find it a lovely time to disturb me while I sat hunched over the dining table scanning those articles. From the corner of my eye, I saw her a couple of feet away, creeping around like a suspicious figure with a trick up her sleeve. Rolling my eyes, I ignored her and continued flipping through the newspaper. And then... PIAK! A fake rubber cockroach landed right smack in front of me, a few centimentres from falling off the table onto my lap. Not to mention, it almost sailed right into my glass of milk beside the newspapers. Oh, the horror. Thankfully, I was mentally prepared, so I didn't like fly off my chair or scream like a banshee.
Okay, I'm gonna go on yet another book hunt. I want "Notes From an Even Smaller Island" by Neil Humphreys. Yeah, people who reads Today, I'm sure you find this author familiar.
One more week to Musical Epoch! I can't wait! Sigh, they HAD to change the costume at the last minute to all black and I had a really hard time finding a plain, black, long-sleeved shirt this afternoon. Even G2000 didn't have it. But yeah, I finally bought it at This Fashion. Of course, there are alterations to be done. My section's tie colour is awful. With a white shirt, it's fine, but not with a black shirt. They should have just let the section decide and buy it themselves. Ah well, nevermind.
My mind is flooded with Ross Roy. I was having tuition just now and all I could think of most of the time is Ross Roy. Ahhh!!! Luckily, I could still manage to concentrate on solving those trigonometric equations.
Somehow, I can't wait for the end of the year to arrive yet at the same time, I don't wish for the end of the year to arrive. My violin teacher might be taking us to Italy to learn more about violins at the end of the year. All the waiting is gonna kill me. And IF CO gets a Gold for SYF, we might be going overseas too. Of course, that's a really BIG 'IF'. Sigh... SYF is so pressurising. And if those two big events are ever gonna crash, I'm gonna die. And, there's the not-to-be-missed O' levels Examinations. Which of course, I'm not looking forward to. But then again, maybe it's better to get it over with. And my Violin Exams!!! Sigh, I wonder how and when can I EVER find the time to cram all those major and minor scales, chromatics, arpeggios, dominant and dimished sevenths and the 3 exam pieces in my head. And this is excluding the Theory Exam.
Right, so I should stop wasting my time on the computer here and get on with my homework.
Sigh, another friendship broken. I hate it when stuff relating to BGRs break up friendships. I'm almost convinced NEVER to have another relationship again. It just sucks. It spoils friendships and makes me depressed, even though I'm not the one getting heartbroken. I should just get married to my violin. Or my books... or maybe even the library.
I love my violin! I love my violin! I love my violin!
I mean the violin that my sis and I share. I've gotten the Violin fever. Today, at Yamaha, Aiysha and I were playing this really beautiful upright piano. She said that it sounded too bright. Then I said "But it's a really beautiful violin." She stared at me and said "Violin?" It took me a full second to realise my mistake, smack myself on the forehead and sputter "No, I mean PIANO... piano..."
I want my own violin... I'm still waiting for my mum to agree to let me have my own violin, a good one, not those really cheap ones that you get for a few hundred dollars. Like my sis's violin, its no more than $300 and the sound quality is terrible. It sounds so muffled. The violin arch isn't very good either. Like Mingxi once said, "Finding a good violin that you intend to own for a long period of time is like searching for a husband." But so far, I haven't found a lovely, nice, good quality violin that I like a lot, EXCEPT... for my teacher's violin. Argh... I LOVE his violin!!! But good violins costs a bomb. My teacher's violin costs 10K. Yup, 10, 000. But it's so pretty! The wood is really good too!
Mingxi has this nice small full-size that he wanted me to try, but it's 2K and my dad isn't willing to spend that much on a violin. Or at least, not yet. All I can do now, is to wait... and wait... and wait... Meanwhile, adoring the violin that my sis and I share. I love to hug my violin, as I did last evening, while half-sleeping on the sofa. And I was practising like mad today. From scales, to chromatics, to arpeggios, to Czardas, to The Silver Tears of the Moon, to playing anything in my mind. I was practising before I left the house to meet Aiysha and Ahmad. When I got home, the first thing I did after dropping my bag and jacket on the chair was to pick up my violin.
Whoa, I actually wrote an entire entry on violins alone. Alright, enough about violins, I need to go finish up my Chinese essay now.
Hiya~ I'm back! I haven't update in ages because since school re-opened, I felt like I've been run down by a train and bulldozed over. It's the weekends, and I can finally have a breather. I felt so suffocated with all the work piled up high. Really, it's only the first week of school and voila - 5 upcoming tests and a whole ton of homework that never ends. Oh yeah, and one test is already over, Physics test. Which I obtained only a mere borderline pass. How pathetic.
Yesterday was CCA Orientation Concert, I had to be the Emcee for the front part and I made two mistakes. A hole in the ground then would be very appropriate, coz I would like to crawl into it. CO is getting to my head, strings as well. All day long, my mind is being haunted by all the CO songs; when I'm about to sleep, when I'm eating, washing dishes, studying, walking, running... blah...
Last night, I practised my violin for an hour without stopping. I finally got that part of Czardas right! I'm so happy. But after that, my thumb went totally numb and my neck felt cramped. Ouch.
This year, we're supposed to have the 5-day-week, but guess what, I just had a full-day CO practice today and I am feeling dead right now. I'm so freaking tired and I've partially lost my voice from shouting at my section. Have you all any idea how tiring it is to conduct and shout all the freaking time just to get your attention? Argh! Nevermind...
After CO, on my way home, some stupid cat looked like it was gonna attack me. Block my way somemore. What in the world... Argh, make me so angry. I got back home and thought abt that big pile of homework sitting on my desk. Oh man...
By the way, I suddenly like Italian opera, because of Russell Watson! My goodness, I tell you, he has such a fantastic voice. When he sang "You Raise Me Up", I felt like crying. His voice is so rich, so powerful and has depth. He sang with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra! Okay, I'm going ballistic, Talz, it's your fault! You introduced me to Russell Watson... But thanks actually, his voice is so great. ^-^
In the blink of an eye, year 2004 is gone and a new year has arrived. Frankly, for the first time in my life, I'm not at all embracing the new year with enthusiasm, even though with the homeroom system in school and all, it's pretty exciting, but I'm really dreading the impending O' levels.
On the night of New Year's Eve, I was talking to a couple of friends in my level online. Seems to me that we're all pretty upset and worried about the coming year. Jo's New Year greeting sounded so dead... Poor girl...
Regarding the homeroom system, it's only partial. It's not total homeroom. Sigh, we're still sort of in a class. Sadly. It'll really be great if they had changed it to total homeroom, I could have been in the same class as people whom I've never been in the same class with before.
School's re-opening tomorrw. Not exactly a thing to rejoice about, I must say. I'm such an idiot to have procrastinated my application for a locker. Imagine the books I'd have to haul around should no one decide to share with me their locker until I get my own. Time really does fly. It seemed only yesterday when I first stepped into Temasek with that wide-eyed look. And now I'm in my final year. Tomorrow sure is a day filled with excitment yet apprehension and dread.
Anyway, on to other issues. Musical Epoch is drawing nearer with the coming and going of each day. Frankly, I'm pretty excited about it and I can't wait.
Surprisingly, I have actually ran out of things to say. I'm getting all jittery about tomorrow. It'll be back to school, facing all the teachers, studies, school work and homework. Of course, I'll be looking forward to seeing all my friends again. Sigh, too many things are getting to me. I'm losing my mind. *laughs*
CREDITS TO
Original Base by Sharon
Design, Layout and Rearrangement by LeeDeeYa
Brushes Thanks To TS and The Fifth Muse
Also Thanks To Adobe Photoshop 7.0