The Jurong Bird Park trip yesterday was tiring and I had to lug my school bag and books all over the bird park. It's a rather hilarious sight actually. Imagine, this short little girl in white and navy blue school uniform, with a big light blue bag, lugging a thick homework file and a heavy Biology textbook walking around to look at birds. And guess what we did there? This Math Trail thingy. I don't believe this... It's all mathematical stuff, E-Math standard of course, but oh man... go to the bird park just to do this Math thingy. Geez. But the bird show was lovely. Especially the eagles and the hawks. I just love birds of prey. Not because they are killers, but because they are majestic. I love the way they soar in the sky. So naturally, I have decided to write my Biology report on the Wedge Tail Eagle.
There's also this lovely waterfall in the bird park. It's the tallest man-made waterfall in the world and it's really beautiful.
Today is the last day of school. I'm pretty neutral about it actually. Just that my Chinese teacher actually gave us ting xie today, 60 over words, without informing us in advance. Like, what the?! Then during A-Math and E-Math lessons, I wasn't doing much other than my Biology worksheet, which I got stuck halfway coz I haven't finish reading the chapter, and my English newspaper review. Of course I also slacked a bit now and then, talk to Em and Talz, read Pearl Harbor and etc.
Then we had this school clean-up. I had to go wash classroom 4/2. So a group of us went there with pails, mops, brooms, dusters and rags. Then we began scrubbing, washing, cleaning, mopping, sweeping, dusting and etc. Then Em said that if there were music, it would make the job more fun. So we began singing. Haha. Perfect by Simple Plan. Cry by Mandy Moore. There You'll Be by Faith Hill. And we were just singing and scrubbing the window panes and walls.
After all those cleaning, we returned back to our classroom and here comes... the Doomed Moment... Our report books. Oh yeah. Upsetting results man... So sad... Sigh... Oh well, just work hard during the holidays!
By the way, our school is taking up the home-room system next year. Frankly, I'm really excited about it. I think it's also partly because of the 5-day-week that our school implemented the home-room system. But I like the idea of it. So I'll have to rent a locker next year, coz I can't lug all my books everywhere I go.
Sigh, CO practice is whole day tomorrow. 8 and a half hours of CO practice tomorrow. Oh man... *groans* And I got that HUGE stack of scores to lug to school. Oh, and do u know? Being a librarian will render you temporarily broke. I'm serious! I'm broke now!
You know? I cycled today! Yay, I'm actually exercising. It's a miracle. Okay, dots. That sounded extreme. *laughs* I'm sorry, I know I sound insane today, but I am! It ain't the first day you know me right? Okay, good. *cracks out laughing... again...*
Okay. (Switch off the insane me). Hey! I'm back! You know, this is bad. I'm getting lame. Credits to Florence. Now, I'm tired. Coz I cycled to the far far end of Pasir Ris Park this evening. The moment I reached my grandma's house, I walked through the door without even taking off my shoes, dumped my bag down, grabbed a t-shirt, changed out of my uniform, hopped onto my bicycle and cycled off to the park. Feels good to have the wind running through your hair again.
Tomorrow, we have this Jurong Bird Park learning journey. It's hilarious really. Makes me feel like a primary school kid again. And for what? To write a one page Biology report on one specific species of bird. Like as if go there can write one page of information on birds liddat. All you can see is the bird, whose pictures can be easily accessed through the internet. So what's the point really? But then again, trips like these are a rarity, so I shall just enjoy myself as much as I can.
I think I'm getting the great depression. Or maybe, according to Florence, withdrawal symptoms. But then again, it doesn't apply to me coz I'm not in the "no-call" campaign. It's Em. Oh well, anyway, for some unknown reasons, I feel depressed. Blah.
Oh by the way, I am enlightened today. I saw Chuan Li's insane side. He has gone nuts today. I mean it. He was tearing newspapers apart, then crushing them into balls and throwing them at Kenneth, who was writing his news articles review. Then, typically, a paper-ball-throwing-fight began. We were all outside the AV T, trying to finish up our homework (in mine and Chuan Li's case, the stupid zuo wen), and Kenneth was just writing the reviews. Insanity assured.
Anyway, I think I'm just gonna die when I get back my Report Book. No, I'm really gonna die when my dad sees it. No, I don't wanna die at his hands. Okay, I could kill myself first. Let's see... I could actually write a book on "101 ways to commit suicide". Fast ones, slow ones, painful ones, sweet ones, blah blah blah. Okay, stop. I'm spouting gibberish. Oh, but that's just typical me. Oh no, my insane side is out again! Forget it, I'm gonna pack my bag and go sleep.
I don't know why I'm torturing myself. I had this urge to read through a certain pile of letters last night. The pile of letters kept in a secret hidden place. I don't know why I'm putting myself through this kind of torture. It hurts. It really hurts a lot. Reminiscing. Tears welled up in my eyes but did not flow down. Don't know what's wrong with me. Can't seem to cry nowadays. Oh no, I've turned cold-blooded. Okay, just kidding. Haha. 3/4 through the pile of letters, I made myself stop, for fear that my mum would come up and see me in this terrible state and spark off a one-hour lecture that would surely break me down.
I felt really terrible. After many months, when I read those notes and letters last night, I was astonished to discover how light-hearted and cheerful his tone had been. But now... I don't wish to say anything... Okay, stop, I can't be thinking all about this now. Focus gal.
I'm buried deep in homework. Serious. 20 english articles review! Can you believe it?! And that's not it. 10 chinese newspaper articles review, 2 chinese book review, a one page biology report on a species of bird and literature symbolic images. That's for now. The teachers are still gonna post somemore homework on AsknLearn. There goes my holidays! Not taking into account CO practices and all those concerts.
I'm one of the organisers of the CO camp this year. And the main event not to be left out is of course, the Confidence Walk! I just hope they don't get an instant cardiac arrest. A lot of my ideas were rejected. You know why? Because they're too scary. June doesn't want anyone to die of a heart attack. Muahaha. I'm so evil~ Just kidding.
Attended a violin concert yesterday with my sis. The Art of the Violin. There are showcases of the world's best and oldest violins, a viola and a cello. They're SO beautiful!!! One of the violins has a carving of a castle at the back. Others had carvings too. One had a carving of Italian words, but I can't remember the exact words. These violins are really old. They date all the way back to 1670! But they're really beautiful. The colours, carvings, varnish and etc. The performance was very good too.
Tonight is my uncle's wedding dinner. And I got nothing really appropriate to wear. Oh shoot. I'll just go ransack my wardrobe later.
There're many things I would like to do during the holidays. But alas! My days are numbered. Please do pay me a visit at the cemetry ya? Remember to bring flowers!
Mr Tan showed us our overall results for each individual subjects today. Not a single A1. Only one pathetic A2 for Biology. Failed A-Math, E8, 44. That means I'll have to take the re-exam after Christmas. Verrry nice... That was purely sarcasm. The rest of the subjects were B3s and E-Math, C5. Phew, I passed.
Like the above mentioned, my days are numbered. Why so? Because my dad's gonna kill me!!! He told me to scan in my result slip and email over to him in France. Imagine... his face contorting in anger, splotches of red appears, when he sees my 'wonderful' results... *groans*
I'm in a state of depression for the rest of the day. Oh yeah. I've just banged around on the piano... Played my violin till I thought the strings were gonna snap... After this I'm gonna blast my room with music, curl up in bed and read. Maybe. Oh well, I don't know.
Got back the remaining papers today. Social Studies was disappointing. Really. I just passed with 25/50. But - miracle of miracles! - I passed my ying yong wen!!! Thank you God! Biology was a total disappointment as well. It's my favourite science and the subject I studied hardest for! And what did I get?! 68/100. I'm really upset. That's an understatement. Seriously. Literature was... not too bad, not too good... 34/50. Nothing to say.
My dad just called from France. To berate me about my results. Haiz, I'm feeling low enough... He didn't have to contribute to it...
Got back a couple of papers today. A-Math. Flunked. Totally. F9. E-math flunked too. 49. Just one more mark. Chemistry, didn't do as well as I had expected. 64. Physics, I passed. Scraped through, more like. 51. English, I was elated when I got my essay, 23/30. But my speech pulled everything down, 16/30. Comprehension was fine, 34/50. Not very good though. I'm gonna get back Biology, Literature, Social Studies and Chinese tomorrow. Trepidation. Oh yeah.
I'm so upset you know. I feel so unjust. I studied so damn hard for this exam and yet!!! What I get is shitty results! My friend was slacking throughout!!! And she obtained high marks! Why?! I feel like hitting something. But the only thing I could hit is the walls. I don't wanna injure my knuckles again, later cannot play violin. The last time I hit the walls, my knuckles almost bleed. So well, I learnt my lesson. Haha.
Why God, why? I know you have your reasons... but still, why? Haiz... I shouldn't be so upset, but I can't help it. I was on the verge of tears in class, but am I glad I've kind of mastered the art of tears control. Ahaha. Well, maybe not, but I did control a lot in class.
Had an 'enlightening' talk about maggots by Mr Tan today, which completely erroded my appetite for lunch. Oh yeah, totally. It was a graphical description of cleaning a maggot infested wound. Yuck. Anyway, I should go to sleep soon. Though I'm not sure if I can. I'll just lie in bed and write out some of my favourite Bible quotes. Haha. Y o u r N a m e _ b l o g g e d _ @ 11:23 PM |
Monday, October 18, 2004
Pearl Harbor is a great show! No, wait, that's an understatement! The fighter planes are so damn cool!!! Ahhh, what would I do to pilot one man... Okay, maybe I could go bug my dad to bring me to fly one at stimulation or sth. Ah, dang, he's still in France. Well, anyway, Ben Affleck is so damn drop dead gorgeous! Uhh, ok ok, why am I babbling? Oh man, it's really affecting me! I'm nuts about fighter planes now. Okay, I'm gonna go watch Top Gun next! Call me insane! Oh yeah~
I seriously think I have gone insane. No, really! I went Marine Parade Library today with Li Zhen and almost lugged 6 books home before I decided that my bag will be too heavy, so I only borrowed 4 books. And I'm still reading Emily and the Stranger.
I'm getting many sleepless nights nowadays. Oh no, I have insomnia! Okay, too many problems are clouding my mind and I was having such an emotional turmoil I couldn't sleep till 1am last night.
Today the school organized post-exams activities for us. And guess what? It's a Catwalk Competition! So, we had a fine time laughing as we see our fellow school mates strut down the runway and show their stuff. Oh by the way, Samuel and Shi Yun representing our class actually cross-dressed! Oh, I so don't believe this! Shi Yun was dressed like a guy, shirt, pants, tie and all. She bunned up her hair and hid it in a cap. Samuel! He really sacrificed a lot. He was wearing a spaghetti, fake braids, a painter's cap and a black classy skirt. A pity they didn't win...
Last Friday, I attended A Reed and Mallet Affair concert and it's pretty good! Especially the wind quintet and the finale of percussion and piano. Sigh, oh no, I gotta drag my gaohu to school tomorrow. Please don't tell me I gotta carry it everywhere I go for post-exam activities. Geez, not to mention, I've gotta bring a huge pile of scores as well.
Alright, I better go now. Finish up Emily and the Stranger~!
Chance
There are times in life...
When the person you will love,
For the rest of your life.
Walks into your life.
Sometimes, just sometimes...
You hurt that person,
You push them away.
Not meaning to,
But you do.
Because you do this...
You lose that person,
They walk away.
At times...
You are afraid,
To go on, after this.
But what choice do you have?
All you can do...
Is hope that one day,
If that person really was the one.
You will meet again.
And if, just by chance...
You get that second chance,
Remember the past.
Learn from your mistakes,
And never let them happen again.
And by doing this...
You will find out,
That a lifetime of happiness awaits.
And every morning when you open your eyes, Tell yourself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every second is a gift from God.You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching, and love like it’s never going to hurt. People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don’t need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there.
“Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”
I dance swiftly, amidst the silence of the paradise.Angels glance on me... be it surprise, be it admiration, it ain’t gonna stop my rhythm.‘cos it’s not the Angels glance that made me dance, It’s you.
“True love doesn’t have a happy ending. That’s because true love doesn’t have an ending.A heart truly in love never loses hope but always believes in the promise of love, no matter how long the time and how far the distance.”
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
Meaningful? I got that from a story called Dolce Vita. Which the story says is French, but I later found out was actually Italian, meaning 'sweet times'. I should have known anyway, 'dolce' is used as a music term as well. My blog, as you can see, is named after it. You guys ought to read the story, you won't regret it. I assure you. Just go check out http://www.geocities.com/mysteriously_crazy/index.htm
I wish this entry could be filled with happiness and joyful recounts of the happy events of recent dates. But I can't write about anything happy now. I'm feeling really sad now. Not because of the story. Because of him. I don't know why just talking to him nowadays can make me cry. It's just so upsetting. Is it all my fault? I don't know. I am really at a loss of what to do. Oh God, pls help me. I feel so lost now. Would it be better if I just don't talk to him? I guess not... I'm so upset that I can't sleep. Why did things have to end up in this way? I feel so torn apart. My shattered heart, scarred by wounds not yet healed, would never ever be the same again. Even if pieced together, the scars would never go away. I just want a break from all these, God... I'm so sick and tired... I really am... When can I ever find rest...? The solace and tranquility that I seek and yearn for. God, where are you...?
I went jogging this morning. I actually did!!! Well, after a year of procrastination. I jogged around Loyang Villa. Actually wanted to go Pasir Ris Park, but so far and inconvenient coz I'm going to Orchard in the afternoon. Yup, so after jogging, used the computer, then took a shower, ate lunch and set off to meet Emily, Tallie and Florence at Orchard.
So we walked... from 1.30pm to about 6pm. My legs hurt now. Big time. And I still couldn't find anything suitable to wear for my uncle's wedding dinner. Neither did I find the necklace I've been wanting since eons ago. Oh well, nvm, but I had fun today. We went Kino!!! But so sad, I couldn't buy anything, coz it's so expensive. My mum has practically banned me from buying any books from Kino.
So I had to settle for the library. I dragged myself there even though my legs were screaming their protests. I need to return my books, and of course, borrow some more books. I've run out of books to read. So if I don't go borrow somemore, I'll die of boredom.
Tomorrow is the last exam paper! Chinese Paper 3! Then we're gonna go bake brownies at Flor's house, go Esplanade Library to look for scores. Oh yeah, find scores for my violin concert as well. Then we're gonna attend a concert! Can't wait!
I had an enjoyable day today despite the fact that I probably didn't do very well for my E-Math Paper 1, but seriously, I can't be bothered anymore. No matter what I do now can't change my results.
So after the exams, Emily, Tallie, Florence and I were headed to Parkway Parade for lunch. We were joined by Benjamin and Ren Liang. Yeap, and we said group grace! Well, actually Benjamin lead it, but yup, it's a group grace. So yeah, we were just crapping all the way through lunch and all. Then we stopped by a jewellery shop coz Florence, Emily and Tallie wanted to look at earrings, and we all ended up buying rings instead. Riiight. The Friendship Rings. Haha. Then we headed over to Tallie's house. Just the 4 of us: Em, Talz, Flor and I.
Talz's house is really nice! And she has a flute of her own! I can play the flute!!! Okay, now I'm in love with the flute. I want a flute. Okay, dots, my mum would probably kill me if I bug her for a flute. So anyway, we were just crapping around, playing the piano, talking and blah.
I actually finished Something Borrowed, Something Blue last night! Yeap, and well, it's not too bad. I went to the library again today and got The Horsemaster's Daughter. Oh, and I finished reading that today as well. It's nice and touching especially when Blue finally began talking! Now, for some unknown reason, I've got a terrible headache. It hurt so much that I tried to substitute the pain from the headache with the pain from pulling my hair. And it's not going away... Help... I flatly refuse to take a Panadol. Not the day before my E-Math Paper 1. No way.
Chemistry was fine today. Not too easy, not too hard. Feeling pressured in the exam hall today. Nelson, who was sitting beside me finished his paper so fast!!! I was doing question 16 of section A, he was already starting on section B. When I was doing the first question of section C, he had already finished the entire paper. My jaw almost dropped open. Anyway, what is over is already over. Let bygones be bygones. I'm not gonna worry about my grades till I get my Report Book back. Yup. So, tomorrow is the last studying paper and then it's celebration~!
Gonna have lunch with Flor and Em, and maybe Talz tomorrow. Oh yeah, I'm finally gonna bring myself to go jogging and lose some weight and fats. No more procrastination, I'm getting too fat. And that is bad for the body becoz... there will be fatty deposits in the arteries which may increase the risk of a blood clot getting stuck there. Also, it may give rise to coronary heart diseases such as angina pectoris and also heart attack. Okok, enough of Biology. It's like stuck in my head!? What the... But then again, Bio rocks~!
William Shakespeare is SUCH a brilliant person. He rocks man! Oh no, I'm addicted. To Old English. That's bad, what if I start speaking and writing in Old English?! Oh no... Just kidding. Aha, I'm insane. It's the pre-exam madness!!! Muahahaha- *shut up* Okay okay.
Anyway, studied in the library today with Emily, but Chemistry is so boring (I don't know why. Usually I don't find it that boring. It must be the madness *shrugs*) so I went to read. Emily and the Scot is so good! I can't wait to read Anna and the Duke. I'm still hunting for 3001 by Sir Arthur C. Clarke. Oh yeah, I finished Tuck Everlasting yesterday, storyline's kinda weird. Why did the library have to close so early today?! Didn't even have time to choose a nice long novel to read, I just hastily grabbed a what seems to be a nice book off the shelf and proceeded to the borrowing station. Something Borrowed, Something Blue. Oh yeah, Em also recommanded The Storyteller's Daughter. Oh no, I'm not gonna be able to study Chem today! Okay, must resist the temptation to read... Afterall, I've already finished reading one book today... But... temptation temptation temptation. Argh, control!
Anyway, there's 2 more paper that needs studying left. I so can't wait! After the exams, I'm headed to Kinokuniya to buy as much books as I can afford to! Or maybe other bookstores as well, since books in Kino costs a bomb, and I'll probably exit there with a gigantic hole in my pocket.
Alright, gotta go study Chemistry. I'm ending this entry with a quote from Shakespeare.
What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
-Romeo and Juliet
I so have no mood to study for the remaining 3 papers. Well, there's nothing to study for Chinese Paper 3. I did the E-Math Past Year Paper this morning during tuition. I'm more or less left with Chemistry to study. Sigh... Stoichiometry... Why must it be a major topic?!
Spent about the whole of yesterday reading. Finished Temptation by Jude Deveraux. And yeah Em, it's not bad. Probably gonna study a bit of Chemistry later, read through my notes and stuff. Oh yeah, the TYS (Ten Year Series). I should have enough time to do a bit of it. Afterall, I'm probably gonna study at Tampines Library tomorrow with Emily. And the library, that's where I study the most. Yeah, study till I fall sick. Riiight...
Anyway, I should finish reading Tuck Everlasting as soon as possible to return to Talz. And yeah, finish up Hornet's Flight someday, and I hope it is as nice as Kenneth has described. Or maybe it's just the genre of the book that really isn't my cup of tea anyway.
Last night, I went to the airport to pick up my Thai aunt and cousin, and on the way there, I was watching Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron (VCD), in the car. I've watched that show about 3 times and I'm still watching it. Haha, almost made me cry too. I remembered the first time I watched it, I cried 3 times. Oh man... But it's a really nice show. Made me feel nolstalgic. I miss horses so much. Wish I could go riding again.
Oh yes! It's the much welcomed weekends! And much appreciated too! Time for a break man! Rest my poor brain from a week's of torture and torment.
Finally had my Violin lessons today. Felt so deprived after postponing it from Monday to Friday. Anyway, I have not chosen my violin piece for the concert! How how? Die, and I have absolutely no idea what song to play!Anyone got any nice pieces to recommand? Anyone wanna support me? I'm performing in this violin concert on the 5th Dec. Location unknown yet, gotta check with my violin teacher. I'm gonna be playing solo, and I'm half scared to death about it.
I got no one to go to Offstage with. I'm so sad. *Sobs* Okay, just kidding. I should be able to find someone to accompany me in due time. Hopefully.
If I've heard the conductor correctly, there's gonna be a CO concert on the 13th November and we're gonna be playing Chang Cheng Sui Xiang (The Great Wall Capricco). That, is frighteningly close. It's been ages since I've last touched my gaohu. Sighz, no time... Been studying for the exams like mad. I barely had time to practice my violin even. Sad.
I've been thinking if I should put Canon in D by the Vienna Boys Choir on this blog. It's one of the loveliest songs I've ever heard. Or maybe I should just put Canon in D the piano or strings version. Oh whatever, I'll make up my mind someday.
Anyway, today's Physics paper was uh... Okay I guess. But I kinda screwed up section B coz there were quite a number of questions I didn't know how to do. Well, at least I finished the paper. Yeah. It was quite tough, but not too bad.
I was just listening to this song which I had almost forgotten about. Jordan Hill - Remember Me This Way. Soundtrack of Casper. It's a really nice song.
Every now and then
We find a special friend who never lets us down
who understands it all reaches out each time we fall
you're the best friend that i've found
I know you can't stay
a part of you will never ever go away
your heart will stay
I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind to such a gentle mind
if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way
remember me this way
I don't need eyes to see
the love you bring to me
no matter where I go
and I know that you'll be there
forever more a part of me and everywhere
I'll always care
I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind to such a gentle mind
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way
remember me this way
And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side all you do
and I won't ever leave as long as you believe
you just believe
I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind to such a gentle mind
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way
remember me this way
oh, this way
Today's Chinese Paper 2 and Biology Paper was mentally exhausting. I was SO sleepy during the Biology Exam that I was writing my answers with my head on the table. Imagine, early in the morning, 1 and a half hours of Chinese Paper. Then you have a 1 and a half hour break. Then the 2 hours long Biology Paper starts. Oh man... Becoz of my sleepiness, I commited a really really stupid blunder. The question asked for ascending order, I gave the descending order. I could have killed myself.
Chinese Paper was just fine, except that I forgot the meaning of 2 words and I anyhow zao ju, which of course, turned out to be perfectly ridiculous. Tomorrow is Physics Paper. I'm really scared. No, that's an understatement. Yeah, but I'm determined not to drop neither Physics nor A-Math, so I gotta work real hard during the holidays.
Today's A-Math paper was undescribably horrible, terrible, unforgivable (okay, just kidding), unimaginable, awful, horrid, yucky and whatever, the list goes on and on. I"M SO GONNA FAIL!!! Alright, that's not something new I guess. But then again, it's a Final-Year Paper! Okay, it IS something new. The first question already stumped me for some unknown reason and I couldn't work out the answer coz I couldn't square-root a negative number! So, yeah, there's something wrong but I couldn't detect it no matter how much I checked through my workings again. Yeah, and I kept getting stuck, so I kept skipping questions. Then my answer sheet looked so blank with blobs of blue here and there only. Okay, enough about A-Math before I decide to kill myself (just kidding~).
Literature paper today was rather fine. For once, I actually did an essay question which was 25 marks, about Kingshaw's suicide. So I was just rambling on and on, and I actually wrote a full 2 and a half page without leaving lines. Ow, my poor hand. The unseen poem was not too bad either. But again, it's a war poem. Man, what's with war poems?! Mid-Year also war poem. But I actually forgot to compare and contrast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great. All I did was just list down in two paragraphs... Riiight... Okay, gotta go study for Biology and Chinese Exam tml! All the Best everyone!
Okay, I have so malfunctioned. I'm losing my sanity. I've been trying to cram stuff into my brain for the past few days coz of the upcoming exams, so much so that I actually DREAMT of biology lessons! Oh man... I was studying at Tampines Library earlier on, and after a couple of hours, I just malfunctioned. I just couldn't study anymore and my brain seems to be like overheated. Okay, I need a break.
CREDITS TO
Original Base by Sharon
Design, Layout and Rearrangement by LeeDeeYa
Brushes Thanks To TS and The Fifth Muse
Also Thanks To Adobe Photoshop 7.0