My eyeballs feel like they're gonna fall out of their sockets anytime soon. I went to the movies with my 2nd sister and grandpa to watch "I Not Stupid Too" this afternoon. To anyone who hasn't yet watched it, please do, especially parents. It's a really good movie and I don't think there were many who left the cinema dry-eyed.
After the movie, I headed to the toilet and there was a long queue. Looking around, I realised that many had red, swollen eyes too. Yes, the movie is that good. It is hilarious, sad, yet extremely touching at the same time. It is about our life in Singapore. About children/youths and their relationship with their parents. About very personal feelings and life's many experiences, good and bad. I cried until I couldn't breathe in the cinema. Lol.
Life suddenly seem so aimless and meaningless to me. I don't know what's happened to me, but I've changed. A great deal. The old me, has gone... and died. So don't expect to see the old bubbly cheerful me. I seriously have no idea what's wrong with me. I don't know why I feel like this. I'm so depressed nowadays. I can hardly find any reason to smile anymore.
I feel so empty, so drained, so exhausted. I don't know what I want in life and I don't know what I'm doing now. I feel so lost and helpless. I don't have a goal in mind. Sure, I want to enter a good university. And then what..?
My eyes feel sore and my head hurts. I'm exhausted. And I have yet to study for my biology and econs test which are two days later. =( Y o u r N a m e _ b l o g g e d _ @ 9:02 PM |
It is now 1.20am in the morning. Tired I may be, but I have no desire to drift off into the land of 'Z's. Marcus is totally laming me out on MSN, so I am to keep my sanity intact.
Posting results are gonna be out next friday. I don't feel much. Somehow I already have a hunch where I'm going to end up. Of course I'm really upset about having to go to a different JC from him, but we can't always be in the same place together. JC.. NS.. University and of course work. So let's be realistic here. Haha.
I've come to love my CG (Civics Group aka class) and most of my tutors in tpjc, and I'm rather sad about having to part with them. Mr Ng is a really nice civics teacher. He gave the entire CG a rose each on Valentine's Day. Sweet, ain't it? Our econs and bio tutors, Ms Loh and Ms Chua are both really nice too. I'll miss them.
And of course, my friends.
Wenqi, the first friend I made in my CG, cos she sat behind me in the hall, so we began talking. She's quite like me, I realise. Crazy, nuts and can laugh insanely for a long time. And now she's floating in Cloud 9 over.. *cough*
Then there's Rong Juan, aka Young Chiang. A most unique and hard to pronounce name. She's the quietest and most sane of us all. Haha, she would be the one raising a quizzical eyebrow when we laugh insanely for no apparant reason at all.
Next, we have... the Muah Chee! Haha, opps, I think Elga's gonna kill me. Really. *runs off* Yup, ever since Elga told us the story of the Stone and the Muah Chee, I have always linked her to Muah Chee. Besides, she really does look like one to me. =X Her laughter is one of the most contagious in the world. It's deadly, I tell you. Her funny wisecracks have made us laughed till our sides ache. That's the cute Muah Chee for you. =)
There's Connie, the nice one who gave us all something for Valentine's Day. But she seems to loathe the library with a passion, until she discovered the drawing table. Lolx, then she would be colouring and drawing out names.
Last but not least, there's Xinyan! I've come to know her only recently, where she's been my constant companion as I rotted outside TJC for that piggy to come out. She stays just opposite TJ. She's a really funny and nice girl. I remembered yesterday, she dragged me out of the comfortable confines of Bedok Library to go TJ with her cos she wanted to meet her friend to get something I think. In the end, her friend forgot and had gone home. So we decided to rot at the playground opposite TJ as I waited for Chuan Li to finish his mass dance. We spent the entire time trying to study for our bio test next week and chatting about everything under the sky. Well, more of the latter actually. Haha.
Now I'm listening to this really ridiculous sound clip of an absurd conversation, recommended by Marc of course. Haha. I'm starting to feel a little weary. It's now 2am in the morning. I'm still chatting with Marcus and Xinyan. Us nocturnal creatures. Haha. I'd better turn in soon. I'm out now. Au revoir. Y o u r N a m e _ b l o g g e d _ @ 1:23 AM |
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Ooh, I love doing quizzes like these! From Elga's blog this time!
1. Are you photogenic? - Haha, judging by how I look so spastic in photographs, no. 2. What time do you go to bed? - Usually around 12.30am... Plus or minus. 3. What was the last thing you did before this? - Sms Chuan Li 4. Who's the one you always meet the most? - My friends 5. Who's the person you'll call if you need help? - Most of the time, Chuan Li 6. What's on your mind right now? - I'm tired. 7. Which do you prefer, American Idol or Malaysian Idol? - I've never watched Malaysian Idol, so I can't judge. 8. With whom do you wanna be with to have fun? - My 4R friends and my good friends from tpjc. 9. Which movies do you wanna watch now? - Dreamer, Memoirs of a Geisha, I Not Stupid Too 10. When was the last time you went out? - Um, a couple of hours ago, to TJC. Well, the outside of it actually. 11. What do you hate the most for now? Injustice and being scolded. 12. What do you do everyday besides eat and sleep? - Go to school, use the computer, excrete and egest. 13. Colours that make you happy? - Anything that suits my mood at that moment actually. 14. Favourite thing in your room? - Hmm, quite a number of things, frankly. My bed, the Precious Moments poster, the 999 straw hearts, my books and my violin. 15. Miss someone? - Yes 16. Plan to buy something? - I don't think so. 17. Are you satisfied with your life right now? - Much as I wish to be contented with my current life, I am sadly not. 18. Do you like seafood? - I'm fine with it. 19. Breakfast or dinner? - I rarely take breakfast. So, dinner I guess. 20. Do you recycle? - Well, my mum does, so I just throw the cans into the recycling bag. 21. Do you have a laptop? - Yes 22. What's your favourite food? - Whatever I feel like eating at that moment. 23. Cats or dogs? - Dogs dogs dogs dogs dogs!! 24. Salty or sweet? - Depends on what the food is. 25. City or country? - Both are fine with me. 26. Is kissing normal for your age? - Er... 27. Are you athletic? - Haha, i am anti-sports! 28. Would you want to be treated equally? - Of course! I hate injustice remember? 29. Do you have your own cellphone? - Yeap 30. What do you wear to bed? - shirt and shorts 31. Ever had a crush on a teacher in high school? - Are you kidding me? Of course not. 32. Coke or pepsi? - Pepsi. Both are fine actually, but I'd rather drink something less gassy (is there such a word?) 33. Sugar or spice? - And everything nice! Well, it depends on the food actually. 34. Do you like to read for pleasure? - This question sounds wrong. But for leisure, definitely. Books are my life. 35. Do you care about getting good grades? - Who doesn't? 36. Have you ever fallen asleep in class? - For a few seconds, yes. 37. Get a job or ask your parents for money? - At my age, parents. When I'm an adult, of course, get a job. 38. Is your dad strict? - Pretty much, I guess. 39. Do your parents give you enough privacy? - A satisfactory amount I guess. 40. Do your parents trust you? - I hope so. 41. Would you ever want to lose your best friends? - What kind of a question is this? Who would want to lose your best friends?! 42. Does your best friend get on your nerves? - Yeah, occasionally. No one is perfect afterall, you know. 43. Do you make friends quickly? - It depends. Sometimes I clam up around strangers. 44. Do you tell your mum everything? - No. 45. What do you and your parents fight about most? - My laziness. 46. If you love someone and he/she rejected you, what would you do to him/her? - The person I love, loves me as well. But if I were to ever land in such a situation as mentioned, I doubt I would even confess in the first place. 47. Can you sing or rap? - Sing, yeah. I don't like raps. 48. If you have one wish, who would you make your husband/wife? - Erm, I am only 16 going-on 17. Let me worry about my A levels first. 49. What do you think of this survey? - It's okay.
Okay, I have a biology test tomorrow on Carbohydrates and Lipids. Crap. Y o u r N a m e _ b l o g g e d _ @ 10:40 PM |
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Here's another little something I got from Marcus's blog. Lol.
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. - University of California, Riverside, and John Endler of the... (A-level Biology textbook)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. - Erm... okay, and what?
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? - American Idol
4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 2230
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?: 2235
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? - The whirring of the fan and my sister talking on the phone.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? - A few minutes ago, to clear the garden table of dinner and to switch off the lights.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? - The computer screen
9. What are you wearing? - A blue t-shirt and red shorts.
10. Did you dream last night? - Yeah, it was bizarre.
11. When did you last laugh? - Many hours ago.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? - A family picture frame, two Chinese scrolls and an abstract art piece.
13. Seen anything weird lately? - Erm... I doubt it.
14. What do you think of this quiz? - Okay.
15. What is the last film you saw? - Pride and Prejudice
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? - A Precious Moments Bible, a better piano, books, things for my friends and family and donate some to charity.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: How would I know what you don't know about me? Besides, I would prefer to keep you in the dark.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? - No more injustice.
19. Do you like to dance? - Definitely yes, especially when I'm in the mood for it.
20. George Bush. - Erm... ? And your question is?
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? - I have never thought of that.
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? - Neither this.
23. Would you ever consider living abroad? - Temporarily yes (maybe England or the US). Permenantly, no.
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? - My child, your name is in the Lamb's Book of Life. Welcome to Heaven.
25. 4 people who must also do this in THEIR journal. - Chuan Li, Hengky, Tallie, Aiysha.
That's about it. I'm bored and I dislike school. Life is getting rather... I don't know.. Y o u r N a m e _ b l o g g e d _ @ 11:15 PM |
Saturday, February 11, 2006
It was an intricate blend of happiness, devastation, sorrow and uncertainty. I got my O' levels results yesterday afternoon, and I just about bawled my eyeballs out in sadness for an hour when I saw my L1R5. I just couldn't stop crying, I was so disappointed. Here's my result slip, in order of grades.
I screamed when I saw my Physics grade. After paper 2, I thought I was gonna fail Physics, or at the most obtain a C5 or a C6. But I got B4!!! It was one of the most miraculous things in my life. However, I can't say the same for Emath and Biology. I was expecting an A1. I don't know what happened, but I got A2 for both.
Overall, it wasn't too bad. 5 As and 3 Bs. It was a vast improvement from my prelim results, which I got 22 (before moderation) and the school moderated me up to 17. Maybe I was expecting too much, but yeah, I was disappointed, yet at the same time happy with MOST of my results. I just pray that I might be able to make it to TJC. Seems a bit impossible though.. Nonetheless, I'm really thankful to know I can at least go to MJC. Praise the Lord! Y o u r N a m e _ b l o g g e d _ @ 8:28 AM |
Sunday, February 05, 2006
East Coast Park
It was beach day! Hengky, Marcus, Marl and I were supposed to meet up on our usual Saturday trip to the library to study and do homework, Chuan Li was unable to make it cos he had OG outing the whole day. But yeah, I was getting a little tired of being unable to talk freely in the library and all, so I suggested that we all go for a picnic at East Coast Park (ECP). De-stress day.
Hengky dropped by my house first in the morning cos he wanted to leave his sample roses with me. Then, as usual, I was late in meeting Marcus at the ECP bus stop, hence causing Hengky to be late as well. =P The half-starved Marcus proceeded to 'drag' us to Mac to eat. Then Marl joined us halfway. And before I could even finish my fries, Hengky proceeded to rush us off the to breakwaters to find his... friends.
It's been ages since I've last gone to the beach. Suddenly, the sea seemed so lovely. I stood on the shore and watched the waves come crashing in, and I feel the sea breeze caress my face. In a flash, my worries seemed to have been washed away, just like the waves wash away the footprints of people, left on the sandy shore. As the wind takes my worries away, I felt like a carefree 5-year-old once more. You wouldn't believe what I did. Haha. =P
I ran and jumped around on the sand like a kid, laughing and shrieking. Then as Hengky and Marcus sat on the breakwater with their friends, I dragged Marl with me to the sandy shore to build a sandcastle. Lol, it was fun! I built the towers and all, and Marl got seashells as decorative items. Then we wrote "4R" in the sand, and took many pictures of it.
Reluctantly, we left our sandcastle and went to play in the water. But it was only Hengky and I though, cos Marl and Marcus were both wearing shoes. Yup, so I was standing at the edge of the sea, watching the waves come and recede. Then Hengky tried to push me into the water. So I shrieked la, naturally. But in the end, we both got wet. Haha.
We finally left ECP reluctantly at abt 3.40pm cos I had to go visiting this evening and Hengky had to go meet up with his friends elsewhere. But all in all, it was a wonderful day. We took many candid shots! There was even a ridiculous picture of me posing in the middle of ECP, with my fringe standing straight up (Hengky held them up, but they deliberately left out his hand in the photo). I think the picture of the sandcastle would be put up in the class blog! Heh, check it out. =)
And now, I'll be off to do my Econs, Bio and Chem homework. Au revior! God bless. Y o u r N a m e _ b l o g g e d _ @ 11:25 AM |
Monday, January 30, 2006
On Chinese New Year's Eve, I'd just found out that many of my primary school friends are in TJ, added to the 78 Temasekian already presently there. Needless to say, I was totally crushed. Maybe because I'm more of a feeler than a thinker that things like these affect me so greatly. I don't know why, but I'm just not settling in well into my new school. Actually the people are nice and my CG is funny. I've a group of close friends, 5 of us girls, all from different schools. Wenqi, Rong Juan, Connie and Elga, without you guys, life in school would have been unbearable.
I miss my old friends tremendously and I still do. On Thursday, I went to TJ's carnival and while I admit, I had lots of fun, I was silently filled with sorrow. And it really hit me hard when Cindy noted out how I look so sad most of the time and that I no longer jump and bounce around like the usual old me. And Marcus, thanks for the constant reminder to 'cheer up'!
Everyone seemed so happy in their new school, but me. Of course, that is a statement of generalisation. I know I'm probably not alone in what I feel, but I do certainly feel very much so right now. Happiness seems so transient nowadays. Frankly, I felt so demoralised when I'd found out that most of my friends had gone to TJ. I felt like a failure. For awhile, I was mad at myself for not working hard enough, but it was all too late for that. There certainly is no use in crying over split milk, but sometimes, you just can't stop the tears from falling.
This afternoon, I finished yet another book by Lurlene McDaniel. To everyone who hasn't read any of Lurlene McDaniel's books, I suggest that you head off to the nearest bookstore or library to grab a copy of any of her books. They are very worth reading (at least, in my opinion and probably many others as well) and it really makes you reflect on life - what have you been doing? And it makes you realise just how precious life really is. Y o u r N a m e _ b l o g g e d _ @ 2:18 PM |
CREDITS TO
Original Base by Sharon
Design, Layout and Rearrangement by LeeDeeYa
Brushes Thanks To TS and The Fifth Muse
Also Thanks To Adobe Photoshop 7.0
