Dolce Vita

2006-02-28T20:29:00.000+08:00

Hey! I've decided to start a new blog. This one is getting too saturated for the likes of me. So, head on down to my new blog at http://-themusicalwords.blogspot.com
Cya there!

2006-02-26T21:02:00.000+08:00

Transient Happiness..

My eyeballs feel like they're gonna fall out of their sockets anytime soon. I went to the movies with my 2nd sister and grandpa to watch "I Not Stupid Too" this afternoon. To anyone who hasn't yet watched it, please do, especially parents. It's a really good movie and I don't think there were many who left the cinema dry-eyed.

After the movie, I headed to the toilet and there was a long queue. Looking around, I realised that many had red, swollen eyes too. Yes, the movie is that good. It is hilarious, sad, yet extremely touching at the same time. It is about our life in Singapore. About children/youths and their relationship with their parents. About very personal feelings and life's many experiences, good and bad. I cried until I couldn't breathe in the cinema. Lol.

Life suddenly seem so aimless and meaningless to me. I don't know what's happened to me, but I've changed. A great deal. The old me, has gone... and died. So don't expect to see the old bubbly cheerful me. I seriously have no idea what's wrong with me. I don't know why I feel like this. I'm so depressed nowadays. I can hardly find any reason to smile anymore.

I feel so empty, so drained, so exhausted. I don't know what I want in life and I don't know what I'm doing now. I feel so lost and helpless. I don't have a goal in mind. Sure, I want to enter a good university. And then what..?

My eyes feel sore and my head hurts. I'm exhausted. And I have yet to study for my biology and econs test which are two days later. =(

2006-02-26T01:23:00.000+08:00

It is now 1.20am in the morning. Tired I may be, but I have no desire to drift off into the land of 'Z's. Marcus is totally laming me out on MSN, so I am to keep my sanity intact.

Posting results are gonna be out next friday. I don't feel much. Somehow I already have a hunch where I'm going to end up. Of course I'm really upset about having to go to a different JC from him, but we can't always be in the same place together. JC.. NS.. University and of course work. So let's be realistic here. Haha.

I've come to love my CG (Civics Group aka class) and most of my tutors in tpjc, and I'm rather sad about having to part with them. Mr Ng is a really nice civics teacher. He gave the entire CG a rose each on Valentine's Day. Sweet, ain't it? Our econs and bio tutors, Ms Loh and Ms Chua are both really nice too. I'll miss them.

And of course, my friends.

Wenqi, the first friend I made in my CG, cos she sat behind me in the hall, so we began talking. She's quite like me, I realise. Crazy, nuts and can laugh insanely for a long time. And now she's floating in Cloud 9 over.. *cough*

Then there's Rong Juan, aka Young Chiang. A most unique and hard to pronounce name. She's the quietest and most sane of us all. Haha, she would be the one raising a quizzical eyebrow when we laugh insanely for no apparant reason at all.

Next, we have... the Muah Chee! Haha, opps, I think Elga's gonna kill me. Really. *runs off* Yup, ever since Elga told us the story of the Stone and the Muah Chee, I have always linked her to Muah Chee. Besides, she really does look like one to me. =X Her laughter is one of the most contagious in the world. It's deadly, I tell you. Her funny wisecracks have made us laughed till our sides ache. That's the cute Muah Chee for you. =)

There's Connie, the nice one who gave us all something for Valentine's Day. But she seems to loathe the library with a passion, until she discovered the drawing table. Lolx, then she would be colouring and drawing out names.

Last but not least, there's Xinyan! I've come to know her only recently, where she's been my constant companion as I rotted outside TJC for that piggy to come out. She stays just opposite TJ. She's a really funny and nice girl. I remembered yesterday, she dragged me out of the comfortable confines of Bedok Library to go TJ with her cos she wanted to meet her friend to get something I think. In the end, her friend forgot and had gone home. So we decided to rot at the playground opposite TJ as I waited for Chuan Li to finish his mass dance. We spent the entire time trying to study for our bio test next week and chatting about everything under the sky. Well, more of the latter actually. Haha.

Now I'm listening to this really ridiculous sound clip of an absurd conversation, recommended by Marc of course. Haha. I'm starting to feel a little weary. It's now 2am in the morning. I'm still chatting with Marcus and Xinyan. Us nocturnal creatures. Haha. I'd better turn in soon. I'm out now. Au revoir.

2006-02-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

Ooh, I love doing quizzes like these! From Elga's blog this time!

1. Are you photogenic? - Haha, judging by how I look so spastic in photographs, no.
2. What time do you go to bed? - Usually around 12.30am... Plus or minus.
3. What was the last thing you did before this? - Sms Chuan Li
4. Who's the one you always meet the most? - My friends
5. Who's the person you'll call if you need help? - Most of the time, Chuan Li
6. What's on your mind right now? - I'm tired.
7. Which do you prefer, American Idol or Malaysian Idol? - I've never watched Malaysian Idol, so I can't judge.
8. With whom do you wanna be with to have fun? - My 4R friends and my good friends from tpjc.
9. Which movies do you wanna watch now? - Dreamer, Memoirs of a Geisha, I Not Stupid Too
10. When was the last time you went out? - Um, a couple of hours ago, to TJC. Well, the outside of it actually.
11. What do you hate the most for now? Injustice and being scolded.
12. What do you do everyday besides eat and sleep? - Go to school, use the computer, excrete and egest.
13. Colours that make you happy? - Anything that suits my mood at that moment actually.
14. Favourite thing in your room? - Hmm, quite a number of things, frankly. My bed, the Precious Moments poster, the 999 straw hearts, my books and my violin.
15. Miss someone? - Yes
16. Plan to buy something? - I don't think so.
17. Are you satisfied with your life right now? - Much as I wish to be contented with my current life, I am sadly not.
18. Do you like seafood? - I'm fine with it.
19. Breakfast or dinner? - I rarely take breakfast. So, dinner I guess.
20. Do you recycle? - Well, my mum does, so I just throw the cans into the recycling bag.
21. Do you have a laptop? - Yes
22. What's your favourite food? - Whatever I feel like eating at that moment.
23. Cats or dogs? - Dogs dogs dogs dogs dogs!!
24. Salty or sweet? - Depends on what the food is.
25. City or country? - Both are fine with me.
26. Is kissing normal for your age? - Er...
27. Are you athletic? - Haha, i am anti-sports!
28. Would you want to be treated equally? - Of course! I hate injustice remember?
29. Do you have your own cellphone? - Yeap
30. What do you wear to bed? - shirt and shorts
31. Ever had a crush on a teacher in high school? - Are you kidding me? Of course not.
32. Coke or pepsi? - Pepsi. Both are fine actually, but I'd rather drink something less gassy (is there such a word?)
33. Sugar or spice? - And everything nice! Well, it depends on the food actually.
34. Do you like to read for pleasure? - This question sounds wrong. But for leisure, definitely. Books are my life.
35. Do you care about getting good grades? - Who doesn't?
36. Have you ever fallen asleep in class? - For a few seconds, yes.
37. Get a job or ask your parents for money? - At my age, parents. When I'm an adult, of course, get a job.
38. Is your dad strict? - Pretty much, I guess.
39. Do your parents give you enough privacy? - A satisfactory amount I guess.
40. Do your parents trust you? - I hope so.
41. Would you ever want to lose your best friends? - What kind of a question is this? Who would want to lose your best friends?!
42. Does your best friend get on your nerves? - Yeah, occasionally. No one is perfect afterall, you know.
43. Do you make friends quickly? - It depends. Sometimes I clam up around strangers.
44. Do you tell your mum everything? - No.
45. What do you and your parents fight about most? - My laziness.
46. If you love someone and he/she rejected you, what would you do to him/her? - The person I love, loves me as well. But if I were to ever land in such a situation as mentioned, I doubt I would even confess in the first place.
47. Can you sing or rap? - Sing, yeah. I don't like raps.
48. If you have one wish, who would you make your husband/wife? - Erm, I am only 16 going-on 17. Let me worry about my A levels first.
49. What do you think of this survey? - It's okay.

Okay, I have a biology test tomorrow on Carbohydrates and Lipids. Crap.

2006-02-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

Here's another little something I got from Marcus's blog. Lol.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. - University of California, Riverside, and John Endler of the... (A-level Biology textbook)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. - Erm... okay, and what?

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? - American Idol

4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 2230

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?: 2235

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? - The whirring of the fan and my sister talking on the phone.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? - A few minutes ago, to clear the garden table of dinner and to switch off the lights.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? - The computer screen

9. What are you wearing? - A blue t-shirt and red shorts.

10. Did you dream last night? - Yeah, it was bizarre.

11. When did you last laugh? - Many hours ago.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? - A family picture frame, two Chinese scrolls and an abstract art piece.

13. Seen anything weird lately? - Erm... I doubt it.

14. What do you think of this quiz? - Okay.

15. What is the last film you saw? - Pride and Prejudice

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? - A Precious Moments Bible, a better piano, books, things for my friends and family and donate some to charity.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: How would I know what you don't know about me? Besides, I would prefer to keep you in the dark.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? - No more injustice.

19. Do you like to dance? - Definitely yes, especially when I'm in the mood for it.

20. George Bush. - Erm... ? And your question is?

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? - I have never thought of that.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? - Neither this.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad? - Temporarily yes (maybe England or the US). Permenantly, no.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? - My child, your name is in the Lamb's Book of Life. Welcome to Heaven.

25. 4 people who must also do this in THEIR journal. - Chuan Li, Hengky, Tallie, Aiysha.

That's about it. I'm bored and I dislike school. Life is getting rather... I don't know..

2006-02-11T08:28:00.000+08:00

It was an intricate blend of happiness, devastation, sorrow and uncertainty. I got my O' levels results yesterday afternoon, and I just about bawled my eyeballs out in sadness for an hour when I saw my L1R5. I just couldn't stop crying, I was so disappointed. Here's my result slip, in order of grades.

Chinese - A1
Emath - A2
Combined Humanities - A2
Biology - A2
Chemistry - A2
English - B3
Amath - B3
Physics - B4

L1R5 = 12, L1R4 = 10

I screamed when I saw my Physics grade. After paper 2, I thought I was gonna fail Physics, or at the most obtain a C5 or a C6. But I got B4!!! It was one of the most miraculous things in my life. However, I can't say the same for Emath and Biology. I was expecting an A1. I don't know what happened, but I got A2 for both.

Overall, it wasn't too bad. 5 As and 3 Bs. It was a vast improvement from my prelim results, which I got 22 (before moderation) and the school moderated me up to 17. Maybe I was expecting too much, but yeah, I was disappointed, yet at the same time happy with MOST of my results. I just pray that I might be able to make it to TJC. Seems a bit impossible though.. Nonetheless, I'm really thankful to know I can at least go to MJC. Praise the Lord!

2006-02-05T11:25:00.000+08:00

East Coast Park

It was beach day! Hengky, Marcus, Marl and I were supposed to meet up on our usual Saturday trip to the library to study and do homework, Chuan Li was unable to make it cos he had OG outing the whole day. But yeah, I was getting a little tired of being unable to talk freely in the library and all, so I suggested that we all go for a picnic at East Coast Park (ECP). De-stress day.

Hengky dropped by my house first in the morning cos he wanted to leave his sample roses with me. Then, as usual, I was late in meeting Marcus at the ECP bus stop, hence causing Hengky to be late as well. =P The half-starved Marcus proceeded to 'drag' us to Mac to eat. Then Marl joined us halfway. And before I could even finish my fries, Hengky proceeded to rush us off the to breakwaters to find his... friends.

It's been ages since I've last gone to the beach. Suddenly, the sea seemed so lovely. I stood on the shore and watched the waves come crashing in, and I feel the sea breeze caress my face. In a flash, my worries seemed to have been washed away, just like the waves wash away the footprints of people, left on the sandy shore. As the wind takes my worries away, I felt like a carefree 5-year-old once more. You wouldn't believe what I did. Haha. =P

I ran and jumped around on the sand like a kid, laughing and shrieking. Then as Hengky and Marcus sat on the breakwater with their friends, I dragged Marl with me to the sandy shore to build a sandcastle. Lol, it was fun! I built the towers and all, and Marl got seashells as decorative items. Then we wrote "4R" in the sand, and took many pictures of it.

Reluctantly, we left our sandcastle and went to play in the water. But it was only Hengky and I though, cos Marl and Marcus were both wearing shoes. Yup, so I was standing at the edge of the sea, watching the waves come and recede. Then Hengky tried to push me into the water. So I shrieked la, naturally. But in the end, we both got wet. Haha.

We finally left ECP reluctantly at abt 3.40pm cos I had to go visiting this evening and Hengky had to go meet up with his friends elsewhere. But all in all, it was a wonderful day. We took many candid shots! There was even a ridiculous picture of me posing in the middle of ECP, with my fringe standing straight up (Hengky held them up, but they deliberately left out his hand in the photo). I think the picture of the sandcastle would be put up in the class blog! Heh, check it out. =)

And now, I'll be off to do my Econs, Bio and Chem homework. Au revior! God bless.

2006-01-30T14:18:00.000+08:00

On Chinese New Year's Eve, I'd just found out that many of my primary school friends are in TJ, added to the 78 Temasekian already presently there. Needless to say, I was totally crushed. Maybe because I'm more of a feeler than a thinker that things like these affect me so greatly. I don't know why, but I'm just not settling in well into my new school. Actually the people are nice and my CG is funny. I've a group of close friends, 5 of us girls, all from different schools. Wenqi, Rong Juan, Connie and Elga, without you guys, life in school would have been unbearable.

I miss my old friends tremendously and I still do. On Thursday, I went to TJ's carnival and while I admit, I had lots of fun, I was silently filled with sorrow. And it really hit me hard when Cindy noted out how I look so sad most of the time and that I no longer jump and bounce around like the usual old me. And Marcus, thanks for the constant reminder to 'cheer up'!

Everyone seemed so happy in their new school, but me. Of course, that is a statement of generalisation. I know I'm probably not alone in what I feel, but I do certainly feel very much so right now. Happiness seems so transient nowadays. Frankly, I felt so demoralised when I'd found out that most of my friends had gone to TJ. I felt like a failure. For awhile, I was mad at myself for not working hard enough, but it was all too late for that. There certainly is no use in crying over split milk, but sometimes, you just can't stop the tears from falling.

This afternoon, I finished yet another book by Lurlene McDaniel. To everyone who hasn't read any of Lurlene McDaniel's books, I suggest that you head off to the nearest bookstore or library to grab a copy of any of her books. They are very worth reading (at least, in my opinion and probably many others as well) and it really makes you reflect on life - what have you been doing? And it makes you realise just how precious life really is.

2006-01-29T01:24:00.000+08:00

Here's a little something I got from Marcus's blog.

FIRST thing to do before going to sleep: Brush my teeth
FIRST pet: Fish
FIRST primary school: Elias Park Primary School
FIRST alcoholic drink you had: Beer
FIRST time you were sent to the principal: Never
FIRST record you bought: Westlife
FIRST musical instrument you learned to play: Recorder
FIRST sport you played: I can’t remember that, frankly
FIRST best friend: Wei Ning
FIRST wedding you've attended: Can’t remember that either
FIRST person who greeted you on your last birthday: Someone in school
FIRST collection: Stickers
FIRST time you saw a ghost: Never did.
FIRST roller coaster ride: Disneyland
FIRST ambition: Scientist
FIRST job: Student
FIRST thing you bought today: Nothing
FIRST person you hated: No one

> LAST <
LAST book you bought: Psalms for Today
LAST thing you bought: Fish Porridge from TM Foodcourt
LAST tv show you watched: Ai De Zhang Men Ren
LAST movie you watched: The Chronicles of Narnia
LAST song listened: Tong Hua
LAST person who sent U an sms: Jen
LAST thing U want to do now: Study

2006-01-14T21:45:00.000+08:00

Squiggly, Wavy French Fries.

Ah, I must say, today was a most fabulous day. I was awaken by the insistent ringing of the phone this morning. My mum had called to tell me to take her place and attend the Sec 3 Principal Meets the Parents Session, which is to be held in my former secondary school at 11am today. Groggily, I agreed and went back to sleep. I ended up being almost late and thus catching a cab to school.

When I got to school, to my utmost amazement, I was being teased by some teachers about er, well... you know... him. T_T Then I sat behind the teachers during the talk and man, it was such an eye-opener. Haha! I shan't disclose why. Then I had a nice chat with Miss Neo, Mrs Ho, Mr Oh, Miss Leong! After that Chuan Li came and we went off to the library. But he went home first for lunch.

Met up with Marcus, Hengky and Marliyana at the library. Flipped though MJC's tutorial and lectures notes. Then Hengky left for lunch with some friends. So Marcus, Marl and I waited for Chuan Li to arrive, before we 'abandoned' the poor guy to guard our bags coz it's our turn to have lunch. Ah wells, he volunteered to look after the stuff anw and do his tutorial homework at the same time.

So Marcus, Marl and I headed off to BK for lunch coz I wanted to use up the coupon I got since Grad Nite. So we chatted happily throughout the whole lunch, laughing and eating and chatting about everything under the sky. I can't remember exactly what we were talking about, but Marcus was suddenly waving his soft, half-broken french fry in the air. That sight was so funny, I almost squirted out the coke in my mouth. Frantically swallowing it, I burst out laughing madly. No seriously, it was hilarious I tell you. Frankly, I don't know why, but it was!! I couldn't stop laughing! I was practically guffawing! I laughed so hard and long that my stomach hurt! Marcus and Marl thought I'd gone off my rocker. But after then, Marcus began to break all his fries and wave them.

I couldn't eat properly I tell you. I had to use the burger wrapper to shield my eyes from that hilarious sight, else I'd never have finished my lunch. It took me an entire hour to finish up that Mushroom Swiss Burger meal. Goodness. Then we finally returned back to the library.

Today is one of the few days where I was truly happy. Not a hint of sadness crossed my face. Sure, I was tired and exhausted. But I was happy. Truly happy. I love my friends in 4R so much. You guys rock my life. I thank you, God, for giving me such good friends. Amen.

2006-01-13T23:39:00.000+08:00

More than words...

Goodness, words can't even begin to express just how much I miss 4R. Yes yes, those lectures have begun at TPJC. Some are boring, some are okay, some are brain-saturating, yada yada yada. Marc and Marl came to my school for two days! It was the two most fun-filled days I had. I felt so happy to attend lectures and so on. I totally perked up. =)

I really miss all my friends so much. I miss being able to joke around, and talk about crap and totally nonsensical rubbish (yes Marcus, your infamous 'hiroshima' and 'tsunami'). I even miss their fantastically lame wisecracks. It's so incredibly lame sometimes you wonder how they could ever think of such a thing. You could be so lamed out (is there such a thing?) that you throw both hands up in the air in pure exasperation and exclaim "I can't stand it!" and guess what they say? Something along the lines of "Then do please take a seat". *faints...*

I miss being about to throw insults at one another and be totally not insulted at all, because we all know we don't really mean it. And oh yes, I definitely remembered the day that I laughed the most in my entire life (up till today that is). Our funny, hilarious and totally ridiculous discussion of Marcus's brother's artwork of a humongous hand that somehow got misunderstood and heard wrongly as Abbas's hand (no offence to you, Abbas >.<). Then they were talking about the hand artwork and imagining how inconvenient it would be for somehow to possess a hand that huge... and... I shall not go into further gross details.

Alright, so enough about 4R coz I can never finish talking about those wonderful people. I wanna crash TJC, but that means I would have to skip certain lectures and tutorials in TPJC. Sighs, should I? *thinks thinks...*

I'm worried about the A'lvl syllabus. I really am. It's so tough. =( And now, the polys are rising up too. But I guess I'll probably stick to JC, since I have no idea what courses to take in Poly. '

I'm so exhausted. I went back to Temasek today. Miss the school so much. And I attended the CO practice, watching them prepare for this sunday's concert. Haha. Can't wait to watch them! Jia you!!

2006-01-05T18:00:00.000+08:00

A new life...

I MISS SEC 4R SO MUCH. Darn. It's the first time I've felt such attachment to a class. We've been through so much together! Tests, exams, heavy workloads. The MI Room. And yes, the Motivational Camp. That was most unforgettable. How we all cried and sang together... Man, sense of nostalgia.

When lessons officially starts in TP next week, I'm gonna stick pictures of 4R-ians all over my files!

Today's Orientation was exceptionally fun, because of the couple dance and the wet games (when I say wet, I really mean wet).

So we had mass dancing in the hall and one component of it was couple dance. We were all paired up (guys with girls) and we had to dance to Rockin' Robin. I was paired up with this guy called Marcus from Broadrick's. It was kind of awkward, coz the OGL (orientation group leader) was like saying over the mic "Guys! Look at the pretty girl beside you and girls do likewise. Stare deep in each other's eyes..." All that went through my mind as I faced him but averted my eyes were "You're kidding me right?" So we both ended up staring at the floor. *laughs* Yeah, then the guy will give the girl his hand, and the girl will place her hand in his. Both hands that is.

Then we danced! With the OGLs up on stage, demonstrating and giving instructions. Step front, tap foot, step front, tap foot, step front, tap foot. Then step back, tap, step back, tap, step back, tap. Then there was one move where the girl had to spin into the guy's arms. Like, what the? But we had to do it, so we did. Then we move left, move right. Move out, spin, twist, kick, step, tap and bla bla bla. It was so fun!! I had a great time dancing.

Then we had some more subject introductory lectures. Bla bla bla. Somebody help me! I can't decide whether to take literature or economics. I love lit, but econs would be useful in the future, especially when we go out into the working world. It's now interest VS practicality. But econs is kind of dry to me... Not exactly my cup of tea. But my dad seriously wants me to take econs. And my mum is not supportive of literature. But can you imagine? After some gruelling sessions of chemistry and mathematics, going to literature lectures is such a total relief!! It's like - a whole new world! And I tell you, they're studying DIckens and Shakespeare, remember I told you I love that guy? Never again will there be another brilliant genius like William Shakespeare. His works are simply splendid, I tell you! The language is so beautiful!!

Right, I'm rambling. Can't help it, books are the love of my life... Figuratively, that is. So, enough abt literature and economics. After the mass dancing, we had lunch, then the wet games! Everyone changed into PE shirts, girls - dark t-shirts, shorts and slippers/sandals or simply go barefooted, which I did.

Then we all proceeded to the stadium (the field too and the track), it was weird walking barefooted around the JC. Haha. And guess what? It began drizzling. Wet games indeed. We went to our first station which is Water Rugby. We had to play rugby with a plastic bag filled with water. If that bag bursts, opponents get a point. Then we played Over and Under. Another wet game that involved water.

Next was Dog and Bone. Familiar game hmm? But it's not any ordinary Dog and Bone. There was a blue canvas/tarpaulin-like sheet on the field. In the centre of it is a piece of... soap. Yes soap! And the tarpaulin thingy is filled with muddy, soapy water!! Goodness. Yes, that was how I got mud all over the back of my shirt and shorts when my number was called and I skidded and slided on the soapy sheet.

The worst station was Obstacle Course. A mud trench was dug on the field. Raffia strings were tied to table and chair legs and every member of the team has to crawl through this mud trench, under those strings, commando-style. Man, I tell you, when they emerged from the other end, they look like mud monsters. It was total mud from head to toe!! But man, it was cool. Haha.

Then we played Waterbomb! Every single one of us has at least one waterbomb. Imagine, 700-800 over waterbombs. All the groups gathered into the field and ATTACK!! It was quite fun except that there was centipedes/millipedes crawling around in the field and we were all barefooted. *shudders* They are freaky.

It's 21 minutes past 11pm now. I'd better go pack my bag soon. It's orientation night tomorrow and I have to get some sleep. Good night. Pleasant dreams.

2005-12-14T10:24:00.000+08:00

I must be going nuts, I'm like having this crazy nutso movie marathorn thingy. I'm watching at least one movie, every night. Or even in the day, when I run out of things to do. Let's see, I've watched War of the Worlds, Mulan (on TV), Cast Away (on TV), Left Behind, Sleepless in Seattle, Liar Liar and Alexander thus far.

Alexander was rather.. bloody. Because the war scenes were depicted rather vividly. It wasn't just a whole mass of bodies crashing into each other filmed from the top, but was zoomed in to focus on a couple of people at times. And EW!! *shudders*

Yesterday morning, I got a real wake-up call. Having just awoken, I was still half-asleep. Staring at myself in the mirror, and tying up my hair. The phone rang, and I picked it up. It was for my mum. I went back to tying my hair. Then, wham, the bombshell drops on you without any warning.

"Your grandfather got into a car accident!" My mum's voice boomed from the first level.

Believe me, I was still half-asleep and the first thing that formed in my groggy mind was "WHAT?!". Then things began registering. Grandfather. Car accident.

As I dashed down the stairs to the first level, my mind seems to be in denial. You know, you've heard of accidents, on the news, in movies, but then you think perhaps the possiblity of it occuring to you or your family is slim. But think again. My only concern then was that my grandpa be safe.

My mum dashed off to the scence of accident, while my sis and I paced impatiently at home. I kept praying that he'll be fine. After sometime, I called my mum's cellphone. And thank God!! No one was hurt, but the car was totally wrecked up. The relief man... The relief...

2005-12-12T19:58:00.000+08:00

A rather unproductive day I'd say. To put it plainly, I was bored. Bored senseless. I wanted to go out somewhere, grab a nice book, look through some nice scores, buy some new VCDs or something. But my mum was sick so I stayed home.

I mapled in the morning. Ate lunch. Went to my study, looked through my bookshelves. In the past 3 days, I finished reading 16 comic books, a novel and a couple of online fictions. I ran out of reading materials. And you know, I was so bored, I actually did half an Emath paper and one chapter of Biology MCQ. Okay, it was a teeny weeny bit of revision for my rusty old brain. So shoot me for studying in the hols after the Os.

Christmas is approaching and that is one holiday festive that never fails to perk me up. I never knew why, but Christmas always gives me a warm feeling of comfort and love. And I absolutely love doing Christmas decorations. I'd have to go christmas shopping soon after finalising my Christmas List. I can't wait.

*God, I thank you for the wonderful friends you've given me. And for everyone who has entered my life and who means so much to me. Thank you. Amen.*

2005-12-05T15:10:00.000+08:00

Marl, this is for you. Thanks for being there always =)

This Friend of Mine

Strangers we were when we first met,
Unknown to each other, in the same class.
How we began talking, I couldn't remember,
But this friend of mine, I'm glad you're always there.

Two years of friendship, two years of tough work,
Strange, new concepts,
And long mathematical formulas.
But this friend of mine, we've struggled together.

The tears, the laughter, the pain and joy,
Failing grades and the many scrape-throughs.
The midnight oils we've burnt and exhausted
But this friend of mine, we've been through it all.

At long last, the O's are over,
All our efforts, were not for naught.
As we get our results, I want to see you smiling.
This friend of mine, you rock my world!

2005-07-31T12:17:00.000+08:00

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

This still remains as one of my favourite Shakespeare Quotes. Our recent Literature class has landed me in a rather poetic mood. Yes, we were doing Poetry of the five senses, and we had to write a few lines of our own. So we while slacking during PE class (our teacher was nowhere to be seen), I was there with my chin propped up in my hand, thinking of poems. Instead of completing my lit homework, I ended up writing a poem which is totally irrelevant to it. Frankly, it's kind of corny. I was in a hurry to complete it. Only a few lines were nice though:

A Cool Evening

A subtle look, almost imperceptible;
A curt nod, barely a glance.
Cold smiles on painted red lips,
A cool evening it was, a cool evening.

Spinning red and twirling blue,
Shades of green and violet hues.
Alone she watched the whirl of dancers,
A cool evening it was, a cool evening.

The cunning sly beneath the masks,
Concealed, hidden, behind facades.
A glint of evil, a trace of poison,
A cool evening it was, a cool evening.

Towards the balcony doors she strode,
Away from the arrogant crowds of the ton.
The moonlight, the wind caress her cheek,
A cool evening it was, a cool evening.

Right, the last lines are so corny. Ah wells, I might edit it sometime in the future. Yesterday I read this book called "The Christmas Shoes". This story reaches right into your heart and tugs on your heartstrings. More than halfway through the book, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. It was so sad. It was a story of love, hope and faith. About life and death. About God. About two families, who lives are entwined together unknowingly. Seriously, check this book out. It's inspired by a song with the same title. To see the lyrics and hear the song, go here:
http://www.freedwings.com/christmasshoes.php
Remember to switch on your speakers to hear the song. ^^

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-07-28T21:34:00.000+08:00

And I thought I could slack a bit after my violin exams. My hopes were dashed when Eric brought out this 42 Violin Exercises. *topples to the ground* I flipped open the first page and my mouth dropped open. Goodness. Everything about it screams "killer notes! killer notes!" Heaving a sigh of resignation, I rested the bow on the strings and tested the first few notes.

The exercise is nuts I tell you. The positions are so high that your hand is twisted into a really awkward position. And now my fingers feel like they're gonna rot off or something. Coz the positions are sooo high, I'm practically playing at the end of the fingerboard, and the strings cut into my fingertips. Like OUCH. And it was just like "Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain." But here I am, still healthy, well and alive. I survived through it man.

Alright, enough about violins. But actually, there isn't much to talk about either. School's the same old same old usual thing. I shan't bore you to death with mundane everyday stuff either. Hence, I shall end this post right here and go do my A-Math. *sniffs*

Au revoir~

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-07-26T20:01:00.000+08:00

Ooooh, my aunt got a blog! Heh. And it's filled with my cutie little cousin's pictures, Elnathan. Aha! He's finally learnt how to walk! School has been absolutely draining, I tell you. The only thing that kept me going was the strong bond between our classmates, the fun and laughter we share every day, the silly things we do, those crappy, lame jokes we tell and you get the picture.

There's an SS test tomorrow. What a bummer. We've been having lots of SS tests nowadays. It just keeps streaming in non-stop, catching us unaware at times. Goodness. Math is getting really exhausting. Um hmm, it's all my poor brain can take. Especially for one who doesn't exactly fancy math. Hah. I went to the library just now to study with Emily and Chuan Li. Now, I'm dead-beat. Totally drained...

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-07-23T19:42:00.000+08:00

An eventful day...

As you may have already surmised from the above heading, today was an interesting day (at least from lunch time onwards). Sleep, oh precious sleep is eluding me. Yes! Have you any idea how irritating that can be? For the past few days, I've been awakening at uearthly hours such as 3am, 5am and you get the idea. Sleep, wake, sleep, wake. And miracle of miracles, I woke up at 7am this morning. I just couldn't sleep anymore. As a result, I nearly fell asleep during tuition, which was an extremely agonizing period. I was dying there, of sleepiness and boredom. I couldn't wait for it to end. The only thing that kept me going was that I was meeting up with my classmates later.

Yeap! We were going to Mr Mubarak's house for Physics! For the first time in many months, I was actually on time! Me and my terrible procrastination. So I reached Tampines Interchange at precisely 1.30pm. Chuan Li was already there and he was surprised. His first words were "You're actually here early." I rolled my eyes skyward. We were the only ones there, so we began talking. Suddenly, I felt fingers on my neck. Almost scared the living daylights out of me. I whipped around and there, standing behind me and laughing madly was Marcus. Goodness. Then Karen arrived and Marcus tried to scare her unsuccessfully. I tried to go over to Karen and greet her first, but Chuan Li pulled me back and Marcus crept up to her stealthily. I tell you, it was hilarious: Marcus sneaking up to Karen and we were standing in front of Bangawan Solo. Chuan Li and I were laughing madly behind the pillar.

The four of us stood in front of Bangawan Solo and chatted. Hengky, Min Si and Shi Yun would be late, while Song Wei would be making his own way there. So we were talking and talking, when I suddenly felt a hand on my waist. I jumped and whipped around once more. It was Shi Yun this time. Goodness, what's with everyone? Then we found out that Mr Mubarak was not yet home and we may go over to his place at 3pm. Meanwhile we decided to shop around at TM. Hengky joined us at the 'Pasar Malam' then we went over to TM. So we shop shop shop and ended up arriving at Mr Mubarak's house late.

Mr Mubarak's daughter is simply SOOOO CUTE AND ADORABLE!! Her eyes are huge and she's just so lovely. Then she crawled into the room halfway while Mr Mubarak was teaching and he went "You want to study? You want to learn Physics?" We all laughed. Halfway, Mr Mubarak went out and came back in with his daughter in his arms. Then he taught us Moments like that. Then his daughter decided to grab one of his markers and almost toss it out of the window. Mr Mubarak was like "No, don't drop my markers." It was so funny! =) Mr Mubarak's wife cooked bee hoon for us and we had dinner there, with the exception of Karen and Chuan Li, who's vegetarian, and Song Wei, who possess a strong dislike for bee hoon. Shi Yun even carried Mr Mubarak's daughter! Haha. Then we helped to wash up the dishes and soon took our leave.

//I don't know what to think anymore... My heart is warring with my mind...//

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-07-17T17:29:00.000+08:00

16 years of age...

I'd really like to thank everyone who has not forgotten my birthday! Thank you all for making it a wonderful occasion. To all my dear friends and classmates, I'm really glad to have known you all and am proud to have you all as my friends.

Galvin and Chuan Li came over to my house yesterday. Galvin wanted to learn violin and Chuan Li came to do A-Math. Chuan Li arrived first, then we did some homework before my sis whisked him off to help her on a Maple Sea Quest. Then suddenly he ran out of the house to dunno where, claiming he had something to do. Bewildered, I went to watch my sis play Maple. Suddenly, he came back... with Karen in tow!! I had a shock. My mouth dropped open and I was rendered speechless for a few moments. Then she wished me Happy Birthday and we all went up to do homework. Galvin was lost on the bus. So we were like trying to call him and direct him. He missed the correct stop twice and we ended up walking down to find him and we met halfway. So the four of us walked back to my house.

So I began teaching Galvin violin. Chuan Li also picked up one of my spare violins and started playing. Then he also went to play my erhu. Haha. Halfway, Chuan Li said he's thirsty. So I went downstairs and got them all packets of green tea. I was walking up the stairs to the third storey when I suddenly saw Chuan Li sitting on the landing. Scare me. Then I toss the packet of green tea to him and stepped pass him to my study.

At 4pm, I had to go over to Auntie Doris's house to practise my exam pieces. And they went with me, as audience. I picked up my violin and scores and suddenly Karen said "Can I have a look at that green book?" She pointed to one of my classics book on the topmost shelf. I dragged a stool over and pulled out that book for her. And she said "No no, it's that book." Then I saw it. Sitting on top of my row of Danielle Steel books was an elegant navy blue box and a thin flat something. Surprised, I pulled them out. That thin flat something was The Phantom of the Opera Deluxe CD. Stunned, my mouth nearly dropped open for the second time and I gaped at them. It was from Karen, Shi Yun, Si Hui and Galvin. The elegant navy blue box contained a silver necklace with heart-shaped pendant. It was beautiful. From Chuan Li and his mum.

Violin practice was embarrassing. I made so many mistakes. Then Chuan Li played Auntie Doris's baby grand piano and taught Galvin how to play "Sadness and Sorrow".

After that we returned back to my house. Chuan Li and Galvin hogged the piano again. And I took over my sis in Maple. I was searching for the shop that sells scrolls when Chuan Li began playing the "Happy Birthday" song on the piano. Because he's been playing that all day, on the piano, on the violin, I thought he was just practising, so I didn't really like turn back and all, except that it sounded really nice. Suddenly someone called my name, I turned around and was greeted with the sight of a cake right in front of my face. I had another shock. After I recovered from my shock, I made a wish and blow out the remaining candles (the wind blew out most of them, save for two).

Then we decided to watch the comedy show Marcus told us about. Dying from laughter, we paused the show halfway and went to have steamboat dinner. Yeah, dinner at my house that night was steamboat. They went home some time after dinner. But it was fun day.

Thanks WQ, for the lovely pictures of Phantom and violins! Thanks WD, for that really beautiful card. Thanks Joe, for the bookmark and erm, haha, correction tapes. Thanks Esther, for the cute bookmark. Thanks Dan, for the card of one of my favourite Bible quotes and that pretty name keychain. Thanks Chuan Li and your mother for that beautiful necklace. Thanks Karen, Si Hui, Shi Yun and Galvin for the POTO CD. Thanks Ahmad, for that very elegant pen. Thanks Dempster, for that cute picture. Thanks Marl, Leonard and Huda for the lovely E-cards. Have I missed anyone out? Thank you to everyone else who have wished me a Happy Birthday! Love ya'all~!

Alright, now the fun's all over and I've gotta finish up that English Speech and study for my social studies test tomorrow. Bummer. Haha.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-07-16T10:31:00.000+08:00

My fingers feel like they're gonna drop off and rot away. All my fingertips on my left hand is like callused, hard and the skin's peeling. Ouch. I've been practising my violin like mad every single day this week. At the very least, one and a half hour every single day. I'm freaked. I've gotta pass that exam! AHhhh.

Yesterday was Racial Harmony Day. Um hmm. I wore my kimono coz I've absolutely no idea what else to wear. There were only 4 people in my class who didn't don a costume. I'm quite happy. Almost the entire class wore. We managed to get Mr Iskandar to let us skive off PE, and everyone began happily snapping pictures all over the place. And ridiculous shots did we take. Haha!

I'd like to say a big thank you to those who've remembered. Thank you for your gifts and I'm very touched by the efforts put into it and the time spent on it. Thank you very much. =)

After school, we had our O' level Chinese Listening Comprehension Examination. It was to be broadcasted over one of the radio stations and across the entire country. Hmm, this is something new to me. And everyone gathered into the exam room and sat down. After like eternity, a teacher finally walked in. I was curious as to which radio station they would use. I was expecting 93.3 or 97.2 or some other Chinese stations. But no, the teacher flicked on the radio switch and the soft tinkling of a piano floated out. SYMPHONY 92.4 FM!! I was stunned.

So for about half an hour, we sat there idly, listening to classical pieces, while adjusting the volume of the radio. Many people fell asleep. Haha, soothing music. So Tallie was sitting beside me and we were listening intently to the music, noting all the staccatos, vibratos, crescendos, the tonality, the tempo and you get the picture. There's this piano piece that's really good and we were like "whoa". So we listen listen listen... and suddenly... the second last piece before the commencement of the examination... When we heard the first note of that piece drift out of the radio, our heads snapped around and our hands flew to our mouths simultaneously in an unmistakable gasp. Eyes wide, we gaped at each other. GABRIEL"S OBOE!! AKA NELLA FANTASIA!! We went mad. Oh my goodness, I tell you. It was affecting us. The oboe tone was sooooo nice and that fact that we both love that song isn't helping at all! And I was half-dying at my seat and I even stuffed my fingers in my ear for a while. And the examiner walked over and asked me if I thought the radio was too loud. Haha. Oh man and I was like "Oh, it's not the radio."

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-07-09T21:40:00.000+08:00

It is during times like these when I really taste the bitterness of my failures and start to sink in despair. My inabilty to possess a really good command of the English language. My inability to play well on the violin and piano. My inability to excel in my acadamics. My inabilty... ...

Maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe I'm just frustrated 'cause I'm hitting a dead end here. It's amazing how things you enjoy doing can turn its back and cause you despair. I'm not going into details here. Sometimes I really question myself. Why am I unable to achieve it? Then again, I know myself. I'm not hardworking enough. Sigh, this isn't good. I hardly sink into self-despair like this.

Nevermind, I'm gonna gorge on chocolates. They'll cheer me up. I hope. I'm glad I bought them now.

2005-07-09T19:06:00.000+08:00

Of laughter, books and friendship...

As usual on a Saturday, Emily, Chuan Li and I went to the library to study and do our homework, with Marcus joining us this time. So anyway, everyone was scribbling away, doing maths, which like I've mentioned before, is getting really aggressive. Papers keep streaming in non-stop and I feel buried under the piles of papers and worksheets they're bombing us with. Oh, and everyone learnt their lesson and brought along a sweater/jacket. Except for Marcus, but it's pardonable; it's his first time here. Haha.

Then halfway, Em and I went to look for novels. Then I got hooked to "Impractical Magic". It was really nice. And we were all reading random music books. Like how this fantastic conductor, called Mahler, demonstrated the part of timpani and he played it with such passion and with such ardor, that the sticks flew clear out of his hands and landed in the middle of the orchestra. Hmm, that kind of reminds me of Lao Zheng and his flying stick. Once, he was conducting, and the baton slipped out of his hand. He tried to catch it, but ended up splitting the thing neatly into two. Ouch.

Then we were reading about famous composers and musicians and this dictionary of classical terms, which is, by the way, so fantastically cool! Oh, and you know, Yo-Yo Ma's Gabriel's Oboe is SO nice. I'm gonna hunt for the scores.

Early afternoon, I was standing at the bus stop near my house today, waiting for the bus to arrive. I was on my way to meet Emily, Chuan Li and Marcus at the library. I was listening to random songs from Phantom of the Opera. The weather was scorching hot. I was standing under the scalding hot Sun, tapping my foot impatiently, waiting for the bus to arrive. It was so hot, I could feel the rays of heat penetrate my skin. Like ouch. So I was listening to Phantom of the Opera and the impossible happened. I shuddered and goose pimples appeared on my arms. No matter how many times I listen to Phantom, it never, never fails to amaze me and raise the hairs on my arms. Amazing, isn't it? And I was standing under our very hardworking Sun.

I finished writing the third chapter last night. But it was weird. Yes, extremely weird, so to speak. Not to mention bizzare. Definitely not me at my very best. Yes, I was exhausted and dead-beat. And I was distracted. Countless people were talking to me, on MSN, on my cellphone through SMS, there were people calling my house and blah. So maybe I'll have to re-write that chapter, or at the very least, do a lot of editing. Blah, I'm exhausted.

I just bought two bars of chocolates. Somebody slap me. Figuratively.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-07-07T20:19:00.000+08:00

A whirlwind of events...

Goodness, school hasn't even re-opened for a month and here I am feeling totally dead. Math and English is getting aggressive (shoot, now I can't even spell properly). I've been doing math and english almost every single day and struggling to slot in bits of triple science and humanities in here and there. And of course make time for my violin practices, which the exam is by the way on 20 July. Goodness, just a week and a couple more days away. It's freaking me out. I think I might just fail sight-reading. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Aaaaaanyway, where was I? Got distracted by two phone calls by my grandma and uncle. Oh yes, thank you to all the people who has taken the trouble to read my story. And at the same time, you guys might wanna check out Tallie's story too. It's really good. It's called "Tiffany and the Flutist - Of Flutes and Roses". Interested? Go check it out at www.winglin.net/fanfic/sjl

Alright, I shall now bid you all a fond farewell for my sis is chasing me off the computer. Good night. Have a pleasant evening ahead.

Au revoir~

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-07-03T01:34:00.000+08:00

I'm rather insane to be still up and at the computer at this unearthly hour when I have to be in school by 7am tomorrow for Balloon Day. But I simply can't sleep! I'm reveling in the joys of writing. I'm certainly feelings rather gleeful now, typing away at chapter two. I've finally decided to post up chapter one. For those who are interested to read it, please go to http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/mademoiselle/
Leave a comment okay? Honest ones! I don't mind constructive criticism. As long as it helps improve my writing. Thank you.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-07-01T20:34:00.000+08:00

What in the world is happening?!

Yes. What in the world is happening. A friend of mine got robbed and punched by the robber. I saw his jaw, swollen, purple and bloody. Saying that I'm shocked doesn't even begin to describe what I felt. Then another friend of mine gotten beaten up by another guy. He was bleeding so badly that his entire uniform was stained with blood.

Then today, a whole big stack of my worksheets went missing from my file. Yes! My worksheets! My notes! My assignments! My tests! Even my weekend homework!! All my hard work!! GONE!! JUST LIKE THAT!! You can't imagine how enraged and upset I felt. I left my bag and stuff outside the library, then I went in to complete my English essay with my classmates. When we finished, I went to stuff my scrap paper into my file. Then I realised that my file felt thinner. MUCH thinner. I flipped open my file and to my utmost horror, a whole big stack of my worksheets were missing. Appalled, I flipped somemore and noted a difference. In one of the file pockets, I saw my section's photo. A horrible realization dawned on me. The painting is gone.

Yes, the painting is supposed to be on top of the section photo. Rage doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I wanted to like hit something. Scream, shout, cry, whatever. Worksheets gone. Painting gone. Yes, I can always photocopy those worksheets from my friends, but it's not my own notes! It's not my handwritting. It's just different. All my efforts down the drain like it. I feel like inflicting bodily harm. DAMNED.

My friends were very nice. Another reason why I love my classmates. All 7 of them, who were doing homework with me in the library helped me to look for my file, or at least waited for me. Chuan Li, Wei Qiang, Hengky, Emily, Karen, Shi Yun and Si Hui, thank you guys. Even though our search was fruitless, but still, thank you for staying until so late to help me search. I am like upset beyond words. This is the first ever time that I cried over missing worksheets! But it was really all my hard work! I am so spitting mad. Ah, I feel like hitting something. I don't care if I get hurt or what. Heck, whatever, I'm already hurting. No physical pain can beat an emotional hurt.

I've been musing. If I've dropped those worksheets, I would definitely have noticed it. It's a huge stack. Definitely would have caused a racket and the papers would be flying all over the place and even if I didn't see it, my friends would. If it was stolen, why would anyone want to steal a bunch of papers? Besides, the person didn't take the whole stack, but 75% of it. And the painting. It's under that huge stack of paper. My file has 20 pockets, the painting's in the first pocket. It couldn't have dropped out. It never has. I don't hold my file upside-down. Please God, let me find my worksheets and painting back. Please.

If anyone happens to stumble across my worksheets or the painting (of Italy), please do kindly return them to me. I'll be extremely grateful. Thank you.

I had my Chinese O' Levels Oral Exam today. It was fine. The two examiners were friendly. We had to wear a tie.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-29T18:54:00.000+08:00

Back to school...

There goes the holidays and I'm back in school. *groans* Our class have reverted back to the homeroom system. It was sad to relinquish the MI Room. We've had such fond memories there. Oh pens and books dropping. Hah. It's the start of a new semester and therefore a fresh new time-table. One which I don't exactly like. This new time-table made us climb from the first level to the fourth level, then back down to the first level again, then up to the third level and it goes on and on. How absolutely annoying.

First week of school, we had a really hearty welcome by the numerous homework and assignments. With the addition of Biology, Chemistry and Physics test. Oh, and include Social Studies test to that list.

A-Math class was funny today. Mr Yong started teaching Kinematics. For some inexplicable reasons, Samuel and Billy, who were seated behind, were engaged in a really heated argument about a kinematics question. They were arguing with such ardent and passion, that one could not help but send questioning glances in their way. Which many of us did, in fact. Besides, the class was pretty silent, all busy solving kinematics questions, which made their argument all the more outstanding.

Chemistry Practical was a total disaster today. People were getting their fingers burnt by accidentally touching test tubes that have just been heated. Yes, my fingers got frickin' burnt thrice! Then overheated solutions were spilling and erupting from the mouths of test tubes. Fingers were plastered and held under cold running water. It was pendemonium in the chemistry lab.

I don't like the seating arrangement in Physics class. My view is so obstructed. *grumbles* Anyway... What was I going to say? Never mind, I forgot. I'd better run, there's Biology test tomorrow and I've this killer literature homework to complete.

Au revoir~

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-26T19:12:00.000+08:00

Of friendly cab drivers, stayovers and orchestra practices...

Did I tell you? That last week, I met this really friendly cab driver. As usual, I woke up late. I had Physics class at 10.30am. In order to reach school in time (I live rather far away), I had to leave my house about an hour in advance. I roused from sweet slumber at 9.30am. By the time I washed up, donned my uniform, packed my bag and etc, it was 10am. I had to take a cab. Flagging down a cab by the side of the road, I opened the door and slide into the passenger seat, saying "Temasek Secondary". Apparantly the driver's not from this district and I had to direct him to my destination. He's not Chinese, I'm not sure if he's a Malay or an Indian, but he speaks good English. So anyway, we were talking and here's an excerpt.

Cab driver: Isn't it the holidays now? Why are you still going to school?
Me: I'm sec 4.
Cab driver (understanding dawned): Ohhhh...
Me (smiles)
Cab driver (continues): Oh, but aren't you a little small for a sec 4?
Me (laughs)
Cab driver (continues): But you speak very maturely for a sec 4.
Me (smiles): Thank you.

Muahaha. Dorts. Anyway, we were like talking all the way to school. He asked me where I intended to go after secondary school, and we began to talk about JCs, Polytechnics and Universities. Then we reached school, before I alighted, he wished me good luck and all the best for my studies. Oh, he's such a kind dear. Then when I alighted, he smiled and waved good bye and vice versa.

My cousin stayed over at my house on Friday. He had Band BBQ at Coasta Sands and decided to pop over to my house after the BBQ. I had intended to do some homework, but we ended up talking, listening to Band music, searching for random stuff on an Internet encyclopedia and reading his thoughts and reflections. Haha. I ended up sleeping at about 3am.

I popped into CO practice on Friday. There was a teacher's conference in the Artroom, so they had to utilise the hall. Before my physics class, Cindy and I stood at the side and listened to them play Wu Suo Nan Yang. It was nice!! But the orchestra was small, many people didn't turn up. Sigh. After physics class, we went back to the hall, with Li Zhen and Esther this time. Sadly, they had stopped practising and were waiting for the conference to be over so they could shift the instruments back. We walked over to our section and talked to our juniors and blah. Then we helped to shift the instruments back and all.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-25T18:32:00.000+08:00

Of piano, teaching and patience...

I'm but an inch from exploding. I was doing my homework in my study when my sister clambered up the stairs unceremoniously like an elephant, hollering my name like the ceiling's gonna collaspe any moment. When I say holler, I mean holler. This voice slaps you in the face and perforates your eardrums (Notes from An Even Smaller Island by Neil Humphreys). Bursting into the study, she said my mother asked me to teach her piano. Okay, fine.

She JUST had her piano lesson less than a few hours ago, and guess what? Everything her teacher taught her flew clear out of her head. Everything I had once taught her so painstakingly flew clear out of her head. So she had to play this song today, it's called "My Bonnie". I'm sure many of you are not unfamiliar with this song. I asked her what she wasn't sure of, she pointed to the fifth bar. So I told her to play from the beginning so I would know what she wasn't sure of. She got stuck at the second bar. Everytime she play, she would stop at the second bar. If not she would anyhow guess and play any random note. Then I realised she wasn't even LOOKING at the scores!! How in the world do you play an unfamiliar or new piece without looking at the scores?! Unless you're some music prodigy like Mozart.

Painstakingly, I told her she must look at the scores when she play. I even pointed out each and every individual note. It took me a whole hour to teach her a couple of bars. Then I asked her questions, she keeps quiet (yeah, the very same chatterbox whom can chat with anything, alive or not, for eternity and doesn't seem to run out of saliva or things to talk about). Then she'll look at me, look at her fingers, look at the scores, look at the piano. 10 years later... she finally replied and after I had to repeat the question like THREE times?! Goodness. And whatever I taught her seemed to go in one ear and exits the other. She wasn't concentrating, looking around... stepping on the pedal unnecessarily... not sitting with the correct posture... blah... It took almost all my willpower not to explode. It was like... breathe breathe... and calm down. People close to me... You know my temper is short and I'm not exactly the most patient person around. Goodness, took another large amount of willpower to keep my temper in check.

Anyway, that whole issue aside. I actually managed to play "A Pure Heart" on the piano today. Yes, the whole song. Yes, without scores. I mean, there isn't even a score for this song. It's a song I learnt in cell group, Praise and Worship. The chords were quite easy to figure out save for one or two. B flat Major. I'm happy and it sounds nice. But now, I'm not happy. My nerves are so frazzled.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-22T20:24:00.000+08:00

Of Chinese Orchestra (CO), sectionals and bondship...

I miss CO so much!! When I hear my sis telling me about all the funny happenings during sectionals, there was this sharp pang of feeling in my heart. Like I wished I was there to witness them all. Heh, heard abt how Wen Da was late for 2 hours, how Lao Zheng got new specs and a new camera phone and he was trying to get pics of the SLs and committee members. How Hui Yan was all hurdled up in a corner with her erhu, refusing to let her picture be taken. Haha!

Today they had CO camp, first day. I came to school early coz my sis wanted to hear Chuan Li play "Tong Hua" on the piano. So I dragged myself up at 7.15am in the morning and went to school with her. After that she had to report for camp at 9am. So Chuan Li and I went to do homework and revision. Emily joined us after some time. Then I heard CO people playing at the amphitheatre. I looked at them play from the second level. It was so nostalgic. Looking at them play and playing yourself is two totally different feelings.

After Physics class, I popped into sectionals. Walking up the stairs with Cindy, I saw Wen Da clambering up the steps behind us. Pausing in my steps, I turned around and said teasingly "Oh! Tou lan! (slacking)" Then I caught sight of what's in his hand. It's... my gaohu!! Goodness, I missed it so much! My darling gaohu. Then we walked to the sectionals classroom and he was telling me about the sec 1s and all. Stepping into the classroom, I saw Hong Kun and Jina practising on their own and 3 sec 1s sitting together: Kimberly, Michelle and Mei Shan. Automatically, my SL instincts kicked in. I sat down and taught them, helped them to re-tune their erhus, and make markings. Then we chatted too, about what, I'm not gonna disclose! *grins* Then Kim was shocked to learn that I'd already stepped down. She wished I were sec 3 and not sec 4 so I could still remain in CO. I felt so touched and honoured.

I wasn't back in CO for an hour before my juniors began attacking me. I got a hearty slap on the back from Theo. Sean was targetting my hair rubber band. Pei Zhi was going on about how I cut my hair. Wen Da left my instrument case in the classroom. Lynn passed it to me. Then I was marching over to him and going "You hor..! Left my case in the classroom! Slap you arh..." in a joking manner. Lynn, Mabel, Wanting and my sis heard it and mimicked me, but shouting it out, "SLAP YOU ARH!!" I cringed, rolled my eyes and motioned for them to keep quiet. Theo and Pei Zhi started the whole 'mole' thingy. *roll eyes*

But I seriously had fun today. I missed CO so much! I was so happy today I was bouncing around all over the place, hopping around and getting all hyper. During their games session, Cindy and I went back to the Artroom. We didn't wanna play, besides we were wearing uniform. The artroom was deserted save for the both of us. Snatching this rare opportunities of being in a totally deserted artroom, I began to dance, twirling around the big empty room. Then I began singing. Haha, I was so happy. When I cooled down then did I started on my Literature homework. *grins*

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-20T20:54:00.000+08:00

Of phantoms, music and stories...

I've decided to change the entire story plot for "Mademoiselle, Are You Lost?". I couldn't continue the betrothal plot. Instead, this violin plot made its way into my head. So it's about this girl who's been practising really hard in order to get through the auditions to join an orchestra. But her father disapproves of her playing the violin, claiming how they can ruin her lovely fingers and all. Being really passionate about the instrument, she went behind her father's back and continued her pursue of the violin. So one fine day, she was practising in Hyde Park (so her father couldn't hear), and this man walked past. He's a violinist and is already a member of the orchestra. He decides to help her. And okay, that's it, you'll have to read to find out the rest. =) Frankly, does this sound plausible?

So right, violin lesson was funny today. Eric was like sputtering in French and I could only understand basic words like "merci", "oui", "mademoiselle" and "non". Like uh... Riiight. My cousin's back from Australia! And he's got me chocolates! ^^
Oh and I dreamt of the phantom again and we were good friends! Okay, somebody slap me again. *grins*

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-17T14:43:00.000+08:00

Of Marquises, Dukes and Earls...

Andrea Kane's romance novels will be the death of my poor shattered soul. Sure, books have kept me up till an unearthly hour of 4am in the morning. But this is record: I didn't fall into sweet slumber until minutes past 5am in the morning. And that was only because I forced myself to close that fantastic novel and go to sleep because I have tuition today. My A-Math TYS lay forgotten beside my pillow as I got whisked off into London, 1815 and into the world of Remington Worth, Earl of Gresham and Lady Samantha Barret.

But goodness, Andrea Kane's novels are the only ones in which I fall for the male protagonists. First Royce Chadwick, then Julian Bencroft, now Remington Worth. Hence the title "Of Marquises, Dukes and Earls..." in that order respectively. Okay, I'm insane, somebody knock me out please. The agony is too acute to bear. I mean they're so devastatingly handsome (sinfully even as Andrea Kane says), though I've not seen their pictures but the way she describes them... *ahhh...* And what's worse, they're all so understanding, caring, kind, loving, romantic and even just by reading the book, I can feel a sense of security emanating from them. Sadly, they're all married in the book. Heck, what am I thinking? They don't even exist!! But a girl can dream, no?

So overwhelmed am I by the tenderness and love emanating from the couples in the books that tears almost sprang into my eyes. At times I would be smiling a woobly smile and others, grinning like some moron or laughing out aloud even. And I was so overwhelmed reading my latest purchase of Andrea Kane last night that almost any remaining shreds of my sanity was ripped out of me and I went stark raving mad. I had to calm myself down and resorted to pacing the tiny confines of my study like a caged tiger, as well as solving some trigonometry equations. *snorts* I couldn't stop grinning and my sister clearly thought I had some screws loose in my head.

For now, I need to go calm down and finish up my lunch, and do some constructive work, else you'll have an stark raving mad, incurable romantic on your hands. *grins*

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-16T20:29:00.000+08:00

Of suits and squishy poles...

As you might have probably surmised from that italic heading above, I've had a rather interesting day. So Muffin (aka Aiysha) and I went to Bras Basah (again) today because she wanted to buy her Clarinet reeds for the VJC Audition. I crawled out of bed today at almost 12 noon with a sprained neck. Okay, I'm a pig, but I slept at 2.30am this morning!! After ransacking through three of my wardrobes, I couldn't find the dark blue collared shirt I wanted. I got mad and had to end up dressing so formally coz my jeans were in the washing machine. So there.

Never wear stilettos if you're going to do a lot of walking. My feet are screaming in agony now. Ouch. So anyway, we went Bras Basah, got her reed and I was looking at some rosin. And it's pretty cheap, though not as cheap as what I can get from my conductor. A Pirastro schwarz rosin costs about $6.30 there. But frankly, I have no idea which Pirastro rosin to get. Advice anyone?

Then Muffin and I went back to Bugis MRT station to meet Ahmad. Then we went back to Bras Basah and bought more books. 'Twas funny what with Ahmad's constant teasings and Muffin just blowing up at his rather subtle insults. And darn Muff, you just had to say out my thing for suits. Nevermind, after your squishy episode, we're evened out, ya? And what with light sabers, MRT poles and G2000. *snorts* Fine, I have a thing for suits, but I DO NOT go wild just by seeing one.

I'm tired. But I gotta practise my violin. Exam's drawing nearer. It's freaking me out. I think I'm gonna fail sight-reading. And what with my scale book going missing and all!! Pfft. Argh. Just let me pass my violin exam please!! And to pass, I need to score 100/150. Yeah, music exams are like this. Argh, so tired.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

Forget everything you know, and feel the music. Let the room disappear. Focus on the passion that is being portrayed, that is unwinding. Close your eyes and let the undulating tones wash around you. Play from your heart...

Dynamics are so hard to play out on the violin!! Eric keeps saying I play too softly. But if I apply too much pressure on the bow or move it too close to the bridge, it produces an awful grating sound. Argh. I've just got the date for my violin exam last night. It's THREE days after my birthday. 20th July. It's a wednesday, which means there's school. Also, our class has moved out of the MI Room. Which means, that I have to lug my heavy violin case around school all day. Simply splendid.

That's right, you've gotta put your passion into your music. Easier said that done though. Exam piece number one: Giga. Cheerful, bright and lively song. There's this 6 bars of crescendo which I can't seem to sustain. Gotta work on that. Chord, press properly.

Exam piece number 2: Czardas. Allegro, fast, lively, energetic, bright, a Hungarian dance piece. Work on the change of strings. Fast enough.

Exam piece number 3: The Silver Tears of the Moon. Swingy, jazzy, bossa nova, not too slow. Pour your emotions and feelings into it. Don't misjudge the distance during the slides. Don't overshoot. Take note of the sharps, flats and naturals.

Sigh, what am I writing. Sorry, got a bit carried away coz I was reading a Phantom of the Opera fanfic and Erik was saying how you gotta play the music from your heart. Feel the music... And relax!!

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-14T22:24:00.000+08:00

1816, London
"How dare you." The girl flinched at the oddly calm tone but stubbornly kept her chin up.
The man's demeanor betrayed nothing of his emotions as he sat idly in his armchair and calmly smoked a cigar.
"Do you realize the extent of your foolish mistake, my dear?"
The girl bravely met his eyes.
"No, father."

I have started on my story and that is part of the first chapter. Frankly, it's going in the direction of the betrothal, but I might change my mind later. It depends.

My cousin sms-ed me from Perth!! Lucky guy, having a Geography Field Trip in Perth, and here I am, stuck in Singapore. But he promised to bring chocolates back for me! Haha! =P

Hmm, I don't know what to write. It's a rather bland day. Moped around at home all day; writing my story, chatting, doing bits of A-Math TYS every now and then, listening to "The Phantom of the Opera", played my violin, read "Once A Warrior" and "Notes from An Even Smaller Island" again.

In short, I am bored to death. Perhaps I shall continue my homework.

1.35am
I am suddenly overwhelmed by an inexplicable sense of sorrow. I've been lying on the floor of the study, in front of my bookshelves, reading. Pulling books after books off my neatly arranged shelves. Whenever I'm down, I turn to my books or music. They cheer me up. For one full hour, I read non-stop, burying myself in books. For that hour, sweet bliss descended upon me. But now, sorrow reclaims me. I wanted to hug something. Anything, as long as it brings me comfort. I eyed that teddy bear sitting forlornly on my desk. I reached out and touched its soft fur. It watched me with a woebegone face. I caved in and grabbed it from the desk, hugging it tightly. I felt like crying. I don't know why.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-13T18:31:00.000+08:00

Mademoiselle, Are You Lost?

I feel inspired to write. That's the title of my new story. It just popped into my head for some inexplicable reason. Due to my unhealthy obsession with Phantom of the Opera, my English is now laced with bits of French. The story's gonna be set in 1816, London. Okay okay, so I'm obsessed with historical romance too.

Anyway, after tuition today I went to Tampines Library with Muffin to study. Then we went to BK to eat. Yeah, my stomach's empty. I left the house in a flurry without eating anything since I woke up. So while doing our A-Math TYS, Muffin and I were chatting every now and then too. We drifted from topic to topic and one of them was about stories. So I was just telling Muffin about this new title which popped into my mind. She went silent for half a second but erupting into spontaneous chatter. The two of us began plotting the story. About this girl who was bethrothed to this handsome wealthy Duke, who loves her very much. Unfortunately, his sentiments were not returned by the girl whom refuses to marry him. Thus, she rans away and collided with this Viscount. And blah blah blah... the story unfolds. Muffin wanted them to die, but that's so tragic! Nevermind, I shall just let the story flow on its own.

Violin lesson was hilarious today. I wanted to let Eric hear the CD recording of The Silver Tears of the Moon, so I went to play the CD on the computer. I didn't realise he was standing behind me so I spunned around abruptly and... POKED him in the stomach with my violin bow. Accidentally of course!! Then he dramatically clutched his stomach in "pain" and went "owww...". My sister and I collasped into peals of laughter.

After that, I was playing Mozart's Concerto in D Major KV218, second movement. There was one part with a trill. Then Eric went "gooti gooti gooti", obviously trying to imitate a trill, but it sounded so hilarious and ridiculous that I burst out laughing so hard I had to lean against the wall for support! Now everytime I play until that trill, I erupt into spontaneous laughter. And I'll say to Eric "It's all your fault!" Then he'll just go "Yeah la, Yeah la, it's all my fault la..." Then I'll start laughing all over again.

After that I went over to Aunt Doris's house to combine piano and violin again and to have Aural lessons. I'm so dead, I can't differentiate classical from baroque from romantic! I gotta go study that big book about all the different eras and the composers in which. I'm pooped. Staring idly at the cover of my scores with the big words "Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart" printed across the top. It's now 12 midnight exactly. I think I'll start making some notes from the music book now.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-12T10:58:00.000+08:00

Just when I was about to start pondering and rambling aimlessly about why on earth am I writing such mundane stuff on my blog when I have my own diary, dear Marl left a really nice tag. Thanks gal. That's the first smile you put on my face on this rather... bland morning.

The holidays have been rather uneventful save for a couple of occasions, and one such occasion would be yesterday. Karen, Billy (Are you shocked? No offence Billy =P), Chuan Li and I went to Tampines Library with the intention to study and do some homework. Being such a pig, I overslept. But then again, I crawled into bed the previous night at a rather unearthly hour of almost 2am. So anyway, I was late (as usual). Chuan Li and I were doing our English TYS while Karen and Billy were pouring over the Physics books (and worksheets).

After some time, I got restless with my short attention span. And as you know, we're in the library, I can practically hear the books on the shelves beckoning me (come to us... come to us...). I succumbed to temptation (somebody whack me) and well... got a book to read (grins sheepishly). And guess what? It's the lovely sequel to "The Lipstick Chronicles" which I read sometime last year. Happily grinning like a moron, I skipped back to my seat and flipped open the book. After sometime, Chuan Li realised that my pen had stopped moving and that I was still stuck at question 7 (was it 7? nevermind, it's not important). Then he buried my book under a pile of national geographic magazines and two humongous Webster's dictionaries, forbidding me to even touch it. Reluctantly, I picked up my pen and resumed scribbling down the answers to that rather dry comprehension passage.

Then I was saved from the impending boredom by Tallie. She messaged me, and had been gushing on and on abt *cough*. And then... Chuan Li kidnapped my cell phone and messaged Talz, thus sparking off "world war III".

Soon after, I had to leave the library for my grandma's place, thus marking the conclusion of the eventful part of my day.

As for today, it's still morning, and nothing interesting has happened. Yet.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

//I have not and did not cold heartedly forgotten you.//

2005-06-10T13:17:00.000+08:00

I'm such a klutz! I was opening a can of condensed soup just now and after using the can opener, I tried to pry open the lid with my bare fingers. Voila~ The jagged sharp edges of the lid sliced into my index finger. Blood oozed out like nobody's business, it even dripped down my finger in a tiny stream. My sister had this really horrified and disgusted look on her face at the sight of so much blood. Haha. So after using up about 4 pieces of tissue paper to clean off the blood which kept oozing out, I examined the wound. The stupid lid really sliced my flesh deep. Okay, even I was a bit disgusted.

And now, I'm irritated coz I can't play my violin properly. If the cut were on my right hand, it's fine. But it's on my left hand! And that's the hand that presses the strings on the violin and my index finger is vital! Argh.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-10T11:56:00.000+08:00

The prospect of being fat galvanised me into action. Uh huh. I went jogging this morning. Two rounds around Sunplaza Park then I alighted the bus one stop before and jogged home. Kinda stupid, but oh wells. You could say I'm a bit mentally unwell these few days. Or perhaps, all the time.

I realised I have this insatiable appetite for music and books. Mind you, not just any music but classical, opera, instrumental and musical. I've completely lost interest in any other genres of music, with the exception of christian music and some nice ballads. Oh dear, I can't think properly coz I'm listening to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack now. Haha, I'm insane. Still. After all these weeks. It still amazes me how they blended "Angel of Music", "All I Ask of You" and "Point of No Return" at the last part of the movie and it sounded so nice! Andrew Lloyd Webber is a genius man.

Ah, I'm tired. My limbs are aching, riiight, so much for jogging.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-08T00:24:00.000+08:00

Yes, it's 12.30 am in the morning and what on earth am I doing here? Feeling depressed after hearing the recording of my violin exam pieces played by the professionals. It's so darn nice, I don't know how that guy play until like that. It's like my pitching sucks!! And my tonality. Eww. After listening to the CD recording, and I thought of my own playing, I visibly cringe. His staccatos are so clear, dynamics are blatant, and he played the bossa nova piece so nicely!

Just now I went over to my neighbour's house to combine with the piano to practice for my exam in July. My neighbour, Aunt Doris is playing the piano accompaniment for me. Man, I sounded downright awful. And I wasn't used to the piano accompaniment. We also started our first Aural session. There are 3 sections to Aural. The first part is the pianist will play a tune, you gotta memorise it and then sing it out loud after the pianist has finished playing. The second part is they give u this short score, they play the first note and then you sing out the rest. The third part, they play a short song, without you looking at the score, then they bombard you with questions. Well, not exactly bombard, but you get my point. And all those must be done in perfect pitching. Well, attempt to anyway. But try as I might, I just can't seem to remember the song's tune for the first part. Like ARGH! Otherwise, my pitching is fine.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-05T12:11:00.000+08:00

Yes! I can play "Music of the Night" on the piano! Well, except for the stupid one octave-apart notes. Argh, the disadvantages of small hands! *pissed* And now it hurts coz I've been stretching it too much attempting to play the one octave-apart notes. Anyway, I can't believe Syphony 92.4 FM played The Phantom of the Opera Suite yesterday, AND I MISSED IT!! It was strings with piano if I'm not wrong and it was from the movie! Argh, I missed it. Damn.

Wah, gotta finish writing that functional essay and email it to Mr Tan. Tonight gotta attend a wedding dinner and there's cocktail before the dinner. But then my mum wants to shop around at Orchard first. I'm gonna die walking around in those stilettos. Argh, they're rushing me. I gotta go.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-04T20:24:00.001+08:00

I'm dead-beat. Today I went to Bras Basah with Emily and we went insane at this christian shop and then at several bookshops. We each bought 6 books. We're nuts. Certifiable. We went to this last bookshop and we were going a bit mad coz there was this shelf of books that cost $1 each. But the shop was really cramped so we were like crouched in front of the book shelf and scrutinising the titles. There was like two rows of books, so we were shifting the front row aside to look at the back row of books. Then I caught sight of this book "All The Pretty Horses", got excited and pulled it out from the bottom of the stack. In the next second, the entire stack of books tumbled down on top of me. I gave a little shriek and Emily helped to get the books off me and back onto the shelf. Then we began laughing and laughing.

After that we headed off to City Hall to meet Chuan Li who was gonna join us after knocking off work at the expo. Then the three of us set of for the Esplanade Library. I found the score I wanted - "Unbreak My Heart" as well as this song whose title raised my eyebrows. The piece is titled "VALERIE". I was like "whoa". Haha.

Recently, there are several incidents which really upsetted me a lot. It actually made me cry. Looks like the floodgates are crumbling bit by bit. I can't be bothered to repair the leaks anymore. If I don't cry, there's no other way I can release my pent-up feelings. I almost can't stand it anymore. I've been supressing it for a very long time...

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-06-02T19:54:00.000+08:00

It has a been a tiring week. Weird that I should be saying this when the week hasn't even ended. *snorts* But nevertheless, I've been like going to school every single day; for practicals and lessons. And you know, Biology Practical on tuesday was actually very incredulous. I can't believe I spent my morning squeezing the seeds out of the kiwi fruit and counting them. Then I had to measure the length of a rice grain. A rice grain. Well, 40 rice grains to be specific.

Today's Biology Practical wasn't too bad, the questions were kinda tough though. But Chemistry Practical was... maddening. It was a full practical, so VA and QA. There was something wrong with my titration, I don't know what but Mrs Tay said my results are too low, so she told me to change my reagents. I ended up doing FOUR titrations with results of 22.7, 23.1, 22.8 and 23.1. Naturally, I took the 23.1 reading. Then QA. There was something wrong with my bottle of aqueous ammonia. Then Mrs Tay thought my solution R was contaminated and poured it away. Then I was like "Erm, I think it's the ammonia." Then she sniffed it and went "Oh yeah, there's no smell." And she poured that away too. After that, it was my dilute nitric acid that was faulty. Like WHAT THE?! And you know, the previous person who used those apparatus didn't wash them properly! I spent so much time scrubbing the precipitate off the test tubes! And getting the potassium manganate stains off the titration apparatus! Argh! I felt like throttling that person... wrap my hands (nevermind their puniness) around his/her neck and... *evil laughter*

I survived my Violin Masterclass!! But it's like held all the way in Toa Payoh SAFRA club!! And the rather mountain tortoise me got lost in Toa Payoh. I know I know, laugh all you want. My violin teacher had to rescue me from the road side. *snorts* It was freaky la. Imagine performing your exam piece in front of this super pro Singapore Symphony Orchestra violinist. I was actually trembling! And yeah la, I made mistakes and played some wrong notes. Which was needless to say, absolutely mortifying. Then that guy, Mr Chan said that I played too softly and that for this piece, my bow must bite my string. Then he made me practise that part over and over again.

After that, I wanted to go home myself, but Eric (my violin teacher) was like "No, later you get lost. I'll get Faith's father to give you a lift home." Faith stays close to me. Then I was like embarrassed, but Eric insisted on it. Then he pulled a face at me. I raised an eyebrow. Like riiight... So I sat Faith's dad's car home. The car's FM was Symphony 92.4, my favourite FM. Haha. Then suddenly... I heard... "Think of Me"... played by a Symphony Orchestra. I almost went insane. But yeah, had to behave myself you know. Outwardly, I was composed, but inwardly, I was like a bomb about to go off. The strings! My goodness! Okay, should cease my rantings now.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-05-30T17:10:00.000+08:00

At the rate I'm eating, I'm going to end up looking like Piangi. I was so stressed up yesterday that I ate non-stop. Literally. I ate 3/4 packet of Lays potato chips (the big packet one), 3/4 basket of lettuce and cucumber, a slice of Fuji apple, a few slices of fish, another packet of crisp again, more lettuce and cucumbers, a huge rectangular slice of fish with cheese and clives gravy, a bowl of udon noodles with chicken and finally this box of pocky my sis brought back from my grandma house. So you see, should I fail to cease this manner of eating, I shall be looking like Piangi in due time. Thus, I need to go jogging. That's that.

Chinese O' Levels examination was oookay. It was freaky, no doubt. Plus the invilgilators were not from our school. But I survivied it, thus here I am. Then Emily, Tallie and I had lunch in this japanese restaurant in Bedok. It's quite cheap ne. Like $4.90 for a teriyaki set. So anyway, I thought I could like relax the whole day today. But I've still got violin lessons later, need to practice my exam piece "Giga" which I'm playing for this thursday's masterclass!! Oh man. *freaks* Plus, there's Biology Practical tomorrow, which means I'll have to go revise all my food tests and plant tests later. *groans*

Oh you know!! I actually dreamt of the Phantom last night? *laughs hysterically* I'm insane. Certifiable. Nothing sick in my dream. Don't worry. *shudders to even think about it* I'm so drained. Maybe I'll go sleep for awhile. But then again, I'm hungry... Sigh...

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-05-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning and sat at my desk, tidying up my chinese revision notes and mock exam papers. Suddenly a thought struck me, "Is it the holidays already?" It surely didn't felt like one. I'd had cramming away all my chinese stuff these past few days in preparation for the O' level examinations tomorrow. Freaky, I know.

Yesterday, I attended Cameron and Delia's wedding. Delia's one of the cell leaders. This is the first wedding I've attended without my family. The wedding was beautiful. This is also the first wedding I got so emotional. Tears just sprang into my eyes when the "Bridal March" started and Delia began walking down the aisle. The ceremony was just so beautiful and touching.

I'm going stark raving mad studying chinese. I would be so fricking upset if I didn't get an A. Must work hard! Okay, I'm going back to study. Break's over.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-05-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

Today is a very eventful day; a day filled with mortifying events. For me at least. First we had like three whole periods of A-Math this morning which like totally fried my brains. Then it was recess. Yes! At 9.30am. The last time I had recess at this time was in primary 3. As usual we went to the piano and this time Florence came with us. And she sight-readed most of the scores!! And she did it very well. I am so inspired to play phantom of the opera now. Hahaha.

It's our last day in the MI room. How sad. We took two class pictures. Haha. Then it was clean-up time! Everyone went up to clean Mr Tan's homeroom. We were amongst the last few to leave the MI Room when we realised that it was in a very filthy condition, so we decided to clean up this place instead. So we grabbed brooms, dustpans, mops, rags and pails and got to work. It was fun! After sweeping the floor we had to mop it, so we all ended up removing all our shoes and socks. Then Karen, Chuan Li and Shi Yun were like mopping the floor. Emily and I were on our knees on the floor, scrubbing off the black stains with a rag. They were saying we looked like Cinderella. Marcus then whipped out his cell phone and began taking unglamorous pictures of us washing, mopping and scrubbing. He even took a video of us! Haha.

So then the water in the pail got really filthy; you can't even see through, it's like totally black. Marliyana wanted to go change it, so I told Hengky to remove the rags in the pail. He scooped them out. Marliyana and I heaved the pail to the female changing rooms (shower rooms actually). We went into one of the shower cubicles and poured out the dirty water into the hole. Pour pour pour... suddenly PLOP! Something fell into the hole and I screamed. Marliyana and I peered down into the hole. IT WAS A RAG!! An unseen hidden rag right at the bottom of the pail! I was horrified. The first thought that came into my mind "HENGKY!! He didn't remove it!!" I ran out of the changing room back to our classroom. I was like gonna scold Hengky and tell him what happened. So I was running along the corridor and screaming "HENGKY!!!!!!!!!!!!" like nobody's business. I think everyone was shocked and staring at me. Hengky stared at me like I've grown two heads. Then he erupted into spontaneous laughter. I was a bit surprised when he burst out laughing so hysterically. Then I realised I must have looked rather insane. Then I began laughing as well. After our laughing fit, I began yelling. Yeah, about the stupid rag that fell into the hole. I think they've never heard me yelling so hysterically before, but everyone was like staring at me.

What I did not realise was that I sounded a bit like a lovesick person when I was running and screaming Hengky's name like that. I was absolutely horrified and mortified when they later told me. And they were laughing like mad and imitating me. Seriously the thought never crossed my mind, I was just intent on getting to Hengky and start yelling. Oh man, what a misunderstanding. *snorts*

After school, Chuan Li, Tallie, Emily and I went to the piano again. We're nuts. Haha. Then Chuan Li played "All I Asked of You" on the piano; Tallie played the flute; Emily sang Raoul's part and I sang Christine's part. It was so fun!

Then Emily and I went to BK in airport to study Chinese. Something embarrassing happened. I dropped my burger!! Oh man. It rolled down my chair and sat nicely on the floor. It was still intact due to the melted cheese that's practically sticking everything together. Emily and I erupted into hysterical laughter. It was totally hilarious!! Then I hit my head. Ouch. After that, I scooped up my half-eaten burger from its place on the ground.

Me: Is it still in edible condition?
Emily: I don't know. Maybe we could like peel off the part which was in contact with the ground.
Me: Hmm, anyway, the most I would get is a diarrhoea

So we proceeded to skin the burger, laughing all the way. Then there was Mr Pointy-Nose. Lolx, Em, you know who I refer to. *bursts out laughing madly* Ouch, my stomach muscles and jaw hurts. I'm laughing too much.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-05-25T19:22:00.001+08:00

I am such an idiot. I lost my mp3. And I didn't even own it for a week! My dad's so gonna kill me. Here comes the best part: I think I dropped it on my way home. *kills myself*

What can I do? Nothing. Maybe my dad would get me another one if I obtained good results for my prelims. So, I'm gonna work hard.

Yesterday, I got so-called reunited with my "long-lost" cousin. Well, it isn't exactly long lost, but I can't seem to find the right word to describe it. His name is Yuxi, and he's the same age as me. I'm needless to say, delighted. Finally a cousin who's of the same age as me! All my other cousins are a good deal younger than me. Yuxi and I were childhood playmates. I was then staying at my grandma's place and he used to come over and we'll play together, go to the beach, cycle and all. The funny thing is... I can't seem to recall a single thing. I didn't even know I had such a cousin until my grandma called me up yesterday and said that Yuxi wanted to contact me. I went "What? Who's that?".

I know I know, call me a rotten cousin. I don't know what's wrong with my memory. I can't even recall how he looked like. Actually, I'm also not exactly sure of our relationship, but somehow, we're cousins. His grandma is my grandma's elder sis. Get it? So anyway, my grandma gave me his number and I called him up la, coz she said he wanted to ask me something about the Os. So yeah, it was awkward. But we exchanged cell phone numbers and emails and we began talking and catching up on old times. I feel so ashamed that he remembered me yet I can't recall a single thing about him. He even remembered minor details such as how we used to go to the beach to cycle and the last time we went there one of us fell off the bicycle. Anyway, we're gonna meet up in the June Hols and catch up on old times.

I feel absolutely dead today. Although we had like 6 free periods coz Mr Yong didn't come; Mr Mubarak is at the sec 3 camp and Mr Tan had something on during contact time. But we were mostly studying chinese la. O' levels next Monday leh. I'm freaking out. During recess, the whole bunch of us (Tallie, Emily, Rusydiana, Chuan Li and I) went up to the piano and played all the Phantom of the Opera songs. And we kinda lost track of time. Haha. But it was enjoyable. Then we were like singing in class too, all the phantom of the opera songs.

A single crimson rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-05-21T16:10:00.000+08:00

So yeap, I went to the Infusia concert yesterday with as little mishaps as possible. I didn't fall down in my high-heels. Whee. The concert was quite nice. I saw my violin teacher!! Wuahahaha. He went back to perform as alumni. I saw a couple of my seniors too. And for the time first, there was actually TWO encores! So cool, and the second encore was actually their last piece: The Sabre Dance. And halfway, one cellist actually stood up and pretended to swordfight with his bow. Actually, I didn't see that coz I was blocked by two guys in front of me. =='' Theo told me.

My dad got me an mp3 player. I filled the entire thing with classical, opera, instrumental and musical pieces. And of course... Phantom of the Opera songs. Lol. I'm nuts. I can't stand it, the strings in "All I Ask of You" drives me nuts. It's so nice until it makes my hair nice. It's so smooth and flowy (is there such a word?).

So sian, piles of homework and revision to do. Chinese O' levels is not just round the corner. It has turned the stupid corner. I feel so lerthargic today. Oh, I started on "Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom this afternoon. I've finished it already. It's a short but very lovely and touching book. Try it out ya?

Sometimes I just feel like giving up. I'm so tired... so tired...

2005-05-19T20:21:00.000+08:00

I've got a son! Lolx, just kidding. It's a Biology activity. We're currently on the chapter of Heredity, DNA, genes and etc. So today we were in the Biology Lab and there's this activity where the class is paired up as couples with your Biology partner (whom is of the opposite gender except for some exceptions). Then as 'fathers' and 'mothers', the father will toss a coin which will decide the child's gender and then for his/her features, both parents will toss a coin each.

It was fun! I was of course the 'mother', and my Bio lab partner, Hengky, was the 'father'. So we have a son by the name of Erik Eng Ze Xuan. He has a round face, not a very prominent chin, bushy eyebrows, average sized mouth, almond eyes, straight hair, freckles, dimples and etc. And we have to draw his face out, that's the hard part.

Anyway, we got back a couple of our exam papers back today. Extremely disappointing results. I was staring at my paper moodily when I realised that my friend was sobbing silently. I went to comfort her. Being in the same plight (yeah we both failed that paper), tears began to well up in my eyes as well. The leak in the dam has now become a hole. The more I think about it, the more I cried. Then Si Hui and Tallie saw and comforted me. I just cried even harder. I haven't cried like I've cried today in at least a year! I was sobbing so badly I couldn't breathe properly and my eyes were red and swollen. I think my Physics teacher saw us crying. I was so embarrassed. Then Karen said something funny and made me laugh. But becoz I was crying as well, I couldn't laugh properly, so a weird noise came out instead. Then I was laughing and crying at the same time. My eyes are so tired and painful now.

I would like to thank a very kind soul today. After I got off the bus at my bus stop, it was raining. I wasn't worried about getting caught in the rain, frankly, I seriously don't care anymore. Besides, walking in the rain is fun. But what I'm worried about is my violin. I brought my violin to school today so we could combine instruments and play together. Violin, flute and piano. I didn't want my violin case to get well, but I had no umbrella with me. I had no choice but to try to cover as much of my violin case as possible with my body. I walked to the traffic light in that manner. Then this man in a red windbreaker was standing in front of me and he suddenly caught sight of me, huddled with my violin case, standing in the rain and dripping wet. He immediately sheltered me with his umbrella. We were living in the same area and my house was along his way. So just nice. I would like to thank this kind person, though I don't know his name.

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-05-17T20:19:00.000+08:00

The dam has sprouted a leak. I cried in school today. I couldn't take it anymore. For the first time in many many months, perhaps even a year, I cried. In the toilet during recess. Thankfully, it was empty. I just lean my head against the wall and sob, watching my tears fall to the ground.

There was no solace, except for in music and in books. I went to the library, somehow the presence of many books around me seems comforting. I pulled off a book of Music from the shelf and riffled through it. The soothing and comforting music of The Swan and from the phantom of the opera in my mind made me feel slightly better. Perhaps in a way, I'm glad for the solitude.

"Down once more to the dungeons of my black despair
Down we plunge to the prison of my mind
Down that path into darkness
Deep as hell!"

Down Once More - Phantom of the Opera

A single red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-05-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

My brain is fried. Fried crispy brain. Ew, k, that's disgusting. And nah, it ain't oil that fried it, but that fantastically long E-Math paper 1 we had after school today. From its usual duration of 1 hour, it was lengthened to TWO hours. Yeah, TWO hours. Mind you, it's only paper 1. Paper 2 is TWO and a HALF hours. Oh, the horror...

Yesterday, I went to White Sands to collect the tickets for the Infusia concert from Shu Fang. After that, we bade farewell, parted and went our own ways. Once again, I was thinkng of -jeng jeng jeng- The Phantom of the Opera! (Ah, don't hit me) Okay, I know you've all probably been exasperated about my whole Phantom obssession, but I can't help it - he is sooo charismatic. And the music. Oh gosh, the music. Okay, stop. Anyways, back on track. So I was thinking of the phantom, humming songs from the phantom of the opera, seeing scenes from the movie in my mind- you get the picture ya? So I was walking along the pavement in that 'phantom' stupor. I saw the green light for the pedestrains blinking away up ahead and I thought "Darn, I'm not gonna make it in time to cross the road."

So nevermind, it turned red. Absent-mindedly, I walked over and pressed the button a couple of times, still thinking of the phantom of the opera. A few seconds later, I felt like a fog lifted off my mind and I suddenly realised that I was about to cross the wrong road! Flushing with embarrassment (I don't know why, I just felt pai seh la, ok, like so stupid can?), I walked to the other traffic light to cross the road. How silly.

Last night I had dinner with my family at Sakae Sushi in East Point. Dessert was one-of-a-kind: Frozen pink guava (yeah the green fruit itself) with its centre dugged out and filled with well, some sort of frozen iced pink guava. It's simply delicious. But freezing cold. Oh yeah, so after I and my sister finished up the iced filling, we ate the fruit. Haha, yeap.

I can't wait for the Infusia concert this coming friday! It's been ages since I've been to a concert. Well, a classical one, though this isn't exactly all classical. But it's so cool! It's a fusion of Chinese Orchestra and the String Ensemble. A harmonious blend of East and West. Lovely =) So you can see the violins and violas sitting beside the gaohu, erhu and zhonghu. Anticipation man.

A single dark red rose with a black ribbon tied to the stem...

2005-05-14T15:51:00.000+08:00

The Phantom of the Opera totally blew me away. I watched it again this morning. Call me insane. *grins moronically* And- totally stunned and shocked- tears actually welled up in my eyes for a couple of seconds during the last part where the phantom sang softly with the music box and Christine left him with his ring.

My whole mind was totally blown away. I couldn't concentrate much during tuition. "The Point of No Return" keep replaying in my mind. I've totally no mood to do anything that is not related to music right now. I was just listening to some songs by the London Symphony Orchestra. The opening solo instruments were really very good; the clarinet, oboe and flute. Then the strings were very nice too. I was almost reduced to a puddle of mush on the living room floor.

I'm so totally consumed by music now. I'm going mad. Haha. I'm gonna blast the room with either Russell Watson, classical or opera music.

The dark red rose with a black ribbon...

2005-05-13T19:03:00.000+08:00

The Phantom of the Opera

Just last night, I purchased the Phantom of the Opera VCD from a VCD shop. As much as I wanted to rip off the plastic wrappings and watch it immediately, I couldn't coz my sister would have no doubt killed me; she still has exams today. Thus, I settled for just staring at the cover. Haha.

After school today, I rushed back home with one thing on my mind: The Phantom of the Opera. Heck lunch, the first thing I did was to switch on the computer and watch the movie. I was so enthralled, mesmerised and enchanted that I abandoned my bowl of half-consumed noodles and focused totally on the movie. I suddenly didn't feel hungry at all, despite almost getting gastric in school today.

The music is fantastic! My goodness, the descending violin scales during "All I Ask of You" is like nuts!!! "Music of the Night" is so frickin' nice!!! Damn it, I'm losing my mind!! Notes/Prima Donna is so cute!!

"Mystery! After gala night
If says mystery of soprano's flight.
Mystified all the papers say
we are mystified, we suspect foul play

Bad news on soprano scene,
First Carlotta now Christine
Still at least the seats get sold
Gossip's worth its weight in Gold"

Okay, haha, a part from Notes/Prima Donna. And during "All I Ask of You", it's so heart wrenching. The Phantom heard Raoul and Christine sang! And she dropped the rose!! Oh man! My heart breaks for him. "The Point of No Return" too!! The feeling is so damn intense! The air is practically cackling with electricity. If I'd been there, I would have been postively singed. The music is so overwhelming with emotions. The dynamics are so good and the violins!! The strings!! I've gone mad.

I am so gonna play Phantom of the Opera songs on my violin and piano later. It's so nice, can't stand it. I'm dying. And when Christine returned the phantom his ring, oh my goodness, my heart shattered to pieces. Okay, gonna go practise my violin~!

The dark red rose with a black ribbon...

2005-05-12T18:11:00.000+08:00

My brain is positively fried. Yesterday we had three papers consecutively: Biology Paper 1 (1h), followed by Biology Paper 2 (1h 45 min) and lastly, Physics Paper 1 (1h). Then I had lunch with Susan and when I got back home, I just collasped onto the sofa. Heck, I even lost appetite for dinner.

There's school again today. After school, we had Physics Paper 2 (1h 45min). Now I can feel a headache brewing. I am ever so thankful and grateful that there isn't any paper tomorrow. The only thing I have to do today is to write 3 SBQ essays. I am so exhausted. I just felt like dying halfway through the paper. Nevermind, it's over. *thankful*

Finally, I can practise my violin and piano today for a longer time. Can't believe how screwed up my "Silver Tears of the Moon" sound. I so can't get the bossa nova feeling out. All the slides and vibrato. Oh man. I have no time left. What if I fail my violin exam...?

2005-05-10T13:45:00.000+08:00

I think I'm gonna fall sick. I walked home in the rain today. That, added to the extremely insufficient amount of sleep I've permitted myself and not to mention the amount of junk and fast food I've been consuming in order to save time so that I could study for the exams.

Chemistry paper sucked today. Especially paper II. Ugh. Halfway through the paper, the sky seemed to have opened up and rain poured down like dunno wat. The air-conditioned hall is already cold enough, with the addition of a downpour, everyone just about froze their arse (pardon the langauge) off. Thankfully, I had my windbreaker. The paper was hard. I wanted to go to the ladies halfway, but I didn't want to waste time. So I endured... and endured... and endured. Terrible experience. It felt awful trying to hold it in while cracking your head for answers.

By the way, it's kinda nuts to put Biology and Physics paper on the same day. Nevertheless, it has been done. Okay, I've got 18 chapters worth of Biology information to cram into my brain. And that's only Biology.

2005-05-09T19:54:00.000+08:00

Maybe it's just the stress of being a sec 4 student. My classmate, Chuan Li, was bellowing the teletubbies song in class today. But what was hilarious was that he stopped halfway because he forgot their names.

CL: Tinkie-Winkie!! ... ... (looks around for help)
Me (kindly supplies): Dipsy
CL: Oh!! Tinkie-winkie! Dipsy! Lalaaa~ PO!!!

That raised a few eyebrows. But then again, we're been entering far too much data in our poor brains. It needs a break. Or else it will blow... into tiny bits and pieces. All the grey and white matter will scatter all over the place. And then the medulla oblongata will... Okay, this is getting gross, I shall stop. *smiles sweetly*

I suddenly feel so motivated to practice my violin, the poor little thing which I've abandoned in that dusty old corner to make way for the frickin' mid-years. Oh man, I've let it down. I've gotta work hard.

I'm fat. What's worse, Karen made me eat so much fries in Long John's today. I tell you, I've probably gained a kg or two. Man, the oil... the fats... *shudders* I am so gonna go jogging after my exams. Heck, I'm short enough, I don't wanna be any fatter than I currently am, which is actually very fat. Don't kill me Talz. I AM fat. That's that.

Okay, enough about the stupid fat issue. Mrs Tay is so cute. Whenever she talks, all sorts of hilarious actions accompany along. It livens up the boring (pardon me) subject.

2005-05-08T16:01:00.000+08:00

I.am.dying. Whywhywhy must we have lessons and homeworks and assignments and projects during our fricking COMMON TESTS which is actually no different from the MID-YEARS!!! Well, actually it's worse than the mid-years BECAUSE they've decided to include all the sec 3 topics. Like can you imagine. After a whole day of lessons from like 7.40am - 2.05pm, you're so tired. THEN you gobble up something called 'lunch', while frantically flipping through your guidebooks for a last minute revision. THEN you rush up to the hall, hear the teachers barking out instructions like dunno wat, grab your stationaries, rush off to your seats, stand behind your chair and then pull it out oh-so-quietly-and-delicately coz they said so. Sigh. I shall cease my litany of unconstructive complaints lest they turn into a litany of curses.

2005-05-04T21:14:00.000+08:00

Today's Social Studies paper just killed majority of what remained of my pitiful braincells. Everyone was cramming during curriculum hours today and we were coming up with all sorts of hilarious methods to memorise as much of the two guidebooks as possible. One of my favourite is the reasons for slow population growth:

BFL = Big Friendly Lobster

B --> Baby Boom (post-war)
F --> Falling birth rates
L --> Longer life span

Haha. There were all sorts of funny things like TCLF, CTTP, TALKS, MOS, IRC, SOS and etc. I got a severe headache cramming all those. The paper was terrible. I shan't say more.

Something really embarrassing happened today. I went home today and saw my dad and his colleages outside in the garden. They were like discussing some work stuff and the garden table was like filled with notebooks, files and documents. I was in the kitchen talking to my sister. I was telling her how one of my classmates went kinda nuts in class today and was singing like mad. Literally. Then I began to imitate her singing. Just when I was singing until very emo, one of my dad's colleage walked into the kitchen to wash his hands at the sink. Oh man. Before I could even shut up, "OH MY GOODNESS!" burst out from my mouth. I then immediately shut up and a scant second later burst out laughing with my sister, leaning on the refrigerator for support. I was so embarrassed! Then he laughed and said "I heard nothing." I just laughed even harder. My goodness.

Oh and I almost got ran down by a bicycle today. It was freaky. =S

2005-05-01T23:02:00.000+08:00

I woke up yesterday morning and didn't felt like getting out of bed, so I lay there for quite some time. Inadvertently, Chang Cheng and Xing Kong floated into my head. The songs went through my mind and I could picture all the fingerings, the vibrato, the body language. I could picture myself sitting at my usual seat in the orchestra playing these two songs. I could picture Zheng lao shi conducting.

Then I thought of how I wouldn't step into the Artroom again, dumping my stuff onto the table. Chat and laugh with my section mates. I thought of how I would never walk into the drying yard again, and see the usual group of guys crowding around the drumset. Take the attendance file out of the drawer. Get my gaohu, music stand and file from the cupboard.

I was listening to Harp music yesterday on a CD. The sweet melodious music of "Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xing" came floating out of the radio. Immediately, an image was conjured up in my mind. It was during the December CO Camp last year. It was during our free time. Xin Yi and I walked back into the deserted Artroom, but heard music coming out from the drying yard. Curious, we turned the door handle and stepped in. We were greeted with the most astonishing sight: Sean, Pei Zhi, Theophilus and Wen Da playing "Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xing". Sean was playing the drumset and bellowing out the lyrics of the popular chinese oldies at the top of his voice, not to mention, he wasn't exactly in tune. Pei Zhi was beating the rhythm on the snare drum. The melody was played by Theophilus on the flute and Wen Da on the gaohu. Stunned and slightly amused, Xin Yi and I quietly listened on. Now, everytime I hear this song, I remember...

2005-04-29T21:04:00.000+08:00

Caught in a whirlwind of examinations. It's finally the long-awaited weekends. Well, technically speaking, today is still a weekday, but the last of the weekdays! A-Math exam wasn't as horrific as I thought. Literature Paper: the unseen poem was terrible. Other than that, it just drained off about 1/3 of my new pen ink. Chinese Oral was terrible. I actually stammered, for the first time in my life. Today's Chinese Paper 1 was okay, almost everyone wrote questions 2 and 5.

After the exam today, I went to chiong my SS articles together with Emily outside the AVT. Then CO Handover Ceremony was at 5pm. I was left with a personal reflection and two relevance to NE. I rushed down to the canteen where there was a buffet dinner and completed my SS articles there. Man, the adrenaline coursing through my blood vessels. After running up to submit my articles in Miss Neo's locker, I dashed back down and joined Xin Yi, Lynn and Cindy for dinner.

After dinner, there was quite a long wait for the Ceremony to start. I got pretty bored and started doing my Biology worksheet with Xin Yi. Then the ceremony started after some time. It was held in the canteen and everyone gathered together. Our erm, emcees were Chiou Huey and Lechiner, who were really humourous. Then we had the Handover Ceremony where all the new and old section leaders and committee members exchange gifts.

It's sad. That's it, I've stepped down. It's the end of my journey in TMS CO. I've spent four years (well, almost) in CO, but it seemed like such a short time. I joined CO because I wanted to play the flute, but I got allocated to erhu instead. I remembered when I first joined in sec 1, Zheng lao shi wasn't even our conductor yet. He came about 2 or 3 months later. Then we practised and practised, even coming on saturdays for self-practices. We were also still using the CO Music Store at the third level, yeah, the one opposite the Band Music Store. Then during my first CO camp, Li Zhen quit Dance and joined CO and I got transferred from erhu to gaohu. Got to know the two gaohu seniors: Yiting and Caryn, who taught me gaohu too. Thank you. Then Yiting became the section leader and me, the assistant section leader.

Took part in my first SYF competition in sec 2, playing Shi Cheng Ying Chun and Feng Nian Ji. The gaohu solo was freaky, but a really beautiful part. We got silver. Had our first public concert at the Singapore Conference Hall, Musical Epoch 2003.

In sec 3, I became the section leader and Xin Yi the assistant section leader. For the first time (since Jia Qing left), there were guys in the section (Wen Da, Pei Zhi, Chu Yuan and Jotham) and they stayed on.

Wen Da was transferred to gaohu. So did Lynn. The 3 gaohu-ians. Haha. We rock man! We're forever insane and laughing like mad. Doing stupid and funny things like bouncing off chairs, leaping off the stage together, drinking water together, and trying to make each other laugh while drinking in attempt to make the other spew out water, toasting each other, dumping scraps of paper/liquid paper/tissue paper in the hole behind our gaohus, disturbing each other endlessly, exchanging gaohus to play, then go horribly off-tune coz we're not used to each other's gaohu. Then what with Wen Da and his erm 'oil' theory. Haha.

We had a section BBQ at my house on Christmas Eve.

In sec 4, we had our second Musical Epoch at Dunman High Auditorium. Snapped loads of photos on that day. Then we trained really really really hard for SYF and we achieved a GOLD!!! Everyone was so overwhelmed that day.

Abruptly, my journey in CO came to an end. I'm gonna miss everyone so much. I'm gonna miss my gaohu so much. I'm gonna miss practices. I'm gonna miss making music as an orchestra.

To my beloved section mates...

Hui Yan and Wen Da, I'm leaving my beloved section in your hands. Do a good job and lead the section well! I know you guys can do it! Keep up the bondship in Xuan Yue.

And the rest, listen to your new SL and ASL okay? Don't make life difficult for them.

Eileen, being a librarian is not easy, especially when you get loads of scores dumped on you at the same time, but I know you can do it gal! Don't stress yourself up too much!

The four guys, work hard k? In both music and studies. Don't get overly obsessed with the drumset hor. I wanna see you guys getting a Gold with Honours in the next SYF. You all can do it! I have faith in you all! =)

Wen Da, must study for your tests hor. Don't wanna hear you failing again. Don't be too obsessed with the drumset. Don't tap your foot during practices and don't stick out your tongue when you make mistakes. Lead the section well! Jia you~!

Pei Zhi, you also another one. Must study for your tests too. Don't wanna hear you failing again either. Although you're not obsessed with the drumset la. Work hard! And your laughter hor... really... terrible. It's overly infectious. I've never met a person who laughs like you do. Can't stand it, it makes me laugh uncontrollably.

Chu Yuan, although you're playing the guzheng now, you're still a part of xuan yue! Cut down on those swear words ya? And remember, whatever your parents do, it's for your own good. And don't always attitude okay? Work hard!

Jotham, the very shy one. Although now you're not as shy as before. You also another drumset nut, although not as nuts as Wen Da. And keep track of your school books, don't always lose them. Study hard, play hard too!

Lynn, the cheerful, sometimes siao and laughing-like-mad gal. Work hard in your studies okay? It's okay to fail, learn from your mistakes! A failure is not one who fails, but one who stops trying. Don't ever give up!

Cheryl, the one with the crazy laughter. Lol. Work hard in your studies and in CO too!

Si Lei, the belly-button. You work hard too! And don't talk too much about erm... *cough*

Hong Kun and Jina, the two quiet girls. Or is there a noisy side as well? Anyway, work hard in studies and in CO! Do well for the next SYF and get a Gold with Honours!!

Wanting, although I don't know you very well, but you're a cute girl. Remember to work hard and strive for a Gold with Honours in the next SYF!

To all the sec 4s, I know it's sad we're leaving. But we'll come back again ya? Study hard for the O' levels! 6 distinctions people! All the best for the Common Tests, Prelims and the O' levels!!!

I love you guys! Xuan Yue DIAMONDS!!! Xuan Yue rocks forever! Once a xuanyue-ian, always a xuanyue-ian!

Thank you all for the wonderful gifts!

Have I missed anyone out? If I did, I'm sorry. Just remember to work hard!

2005-04-25T22:34:00.000+08:00

The English Paper wasn't a very pleasant thing today. I was still writing my summary when a crisp and clear voice rang out across the examination hall. "You have 6 minutes left." Cold dread filled my heart and panic struck me as I furiously scribbled those last few lines. I knew I still had 2 blanks in my passage A and one in Passage B. My heartbeat went into overdrive and I tried to calm myself down. Fortunately I made it. Thank God.

After English Paper, it was 1630 hours. We still had Chemistry Practical. I trudged tiredly to the Chemistry Lab. Titration was fine today. Though washing the apparatus itself was a tiring and troublesome procedure. What with all the burette, pipette, conical flasks, beakers and so on.

Tomorrow we have a half day, due to the outstanding performance of the 4 aesthetics CCA in our school. Choir, Dance and CO achieved Gold and Band, Gold with Honours. Our dismissal time is at 1000 hours. I was euphoric. At first. Then I learnt that we have Chinese Oral Examinations which will commence at 1030 hours. Man, I sound so formal. Hahaha! Anyway, that pretty much dimmed my enthusiasm. But then again, maybe it's a good thing that I don't have to stay back until late in the afternoon for Oral. Afterall, I have tuition and a Literature exam to study for.

Handover Ceremony is this friday. I don't want friday to come.

//I don't know what I'm feeling anymore.//

2005-04-24T23:48:00.000+08:00

//Enough is enough. I'm not gonna lose my sanity over this. I'm not gonna think about it anymore. I'm not gonna allow myself to.//

Yeap, a new layout. The previous one went nutsy. Don't ask me why. I don't know. It just did. I like the elegance of this layout, but it's a tad bit too light for the likes of me. I might change it to a black one soon. Depends if I have the mood and time. Tomorrow is my first paper: English paper II.

I just bought 6 new novels. I'm happy. But I couldn't help it and succumb to temptation today. I read two of Julie Garwood's books and I was held captivated throughout the entire day.

It feels weird when there isn't any CO practices. I feel so empty. Hao kong xu. I miss CO. I miss my section. I miss creating music as an orchestra. I don't want to step down. I don't wanna leave them.

2005-04-20T22:14:00.000+08:00

Chinese Orchestra number 15, Temasek Secondary School... GOLD!!!

All hell broke loose as almost everyone in TMS CO jumped up, screamed and hugged each other at Singapore Conference Hall (SCH). This is one moment I'll never forget, I can still hear the emcee's voice in my mind, as I sat at the audience's seat, clutching Li Zhen's hand tightly in mine, as we waited for the results.

I can still remember everything so clearly, from the moment I woke up this morning. I was so excited, I woke up of my own accord without the alarm clock. I attended school this morning, even though we were excused due to the practice which ended late last night. I was feeling so hyper, excited, nervous, I just couldn't sit still during A-Math class. I was like fidgeting and being all hyper, though I really tried hard to force myself to concentrate on Probability. And I did la, but in my mind was Xing Kong and Chang Cheng even as I was solving questions on my foolscap paper. I got back my E-Math test on Geometrical Transformations today, 23/25. Not too bad, considering it was an easy paper. Finally, after 3 periods of A-Math, Shi Yun and I had to leave to report to the Artroom and all. Then we shifted our instruments to the hall for practice and then we had breakfast in the canteen before changing into our bright pink and black costume.

We all tied gold ribbons on our hair and we were all given a bar of Mars Bar with an inspirational note stuck on it with our names too. Then we prac prac prac in the hall and then we had to rush down to load the instruments onto the truck, grabbed some take-away from the canteen and boarded the bus. We all ate lunch on the bus. Upon reaching SCH, we all unloaded our instruments and put them in one corner. There were many other schools there as well. The atmosphere was very exciting. Many seniors came, Jia Zhen, Joanne, Mei Yin, Michelle, Xiang Le, Jia Qing, Alda, Ke Chen and etc. Soon after we tuned our instruments, we were to move into the tuning room for a short 10 minutes practice. Then we were ushered out and moved onto the third level, where we entered straight into the concert hall, without any further ado and stepped onto the stage.

SYF for us had then begun. It was so fast. Xing Kong wasn't our very best, it was a bit screwed actually, but Chang Cheng was marvellous. The performance was over in the blink of an eye. It was so fast. Then we watched other orchestras perform. Finally, the last CO performed and everyone was settled down in the audience area. It took SOOO frigging long for the results to come out, the suspense was killing me. I almost lost my mind. Then after a LOOOOOONG wait, the emcee came out... announce announce announce... then "Chinese Orchestra number 15, Temasek Secondary School... GOLD!!!" I didn't care who saw me, I leapt up from my seat and screamed as I applauded loudly. Many others did the same, then I hugged Li Zhen and many many other people. I just was like "WE GOT GOLD!!!" then go hug almost everyone in sight. I was just so happy. Many people got so overwhelmed that they cried. I almost did too. For the first time, all the 4 aesthetics group in my school achieved Gold! I went nuts, literally. I just kept screaming and screaming and jumping and jumping and hugging and hugging. Oh man, I have so lost it. I was just too happy. All our MONTHS of hard work has paid off!! Thank you, God!

2005-04-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

Two more days to the... BIG DAY! It's nerve-wrecking. Choir, Band and Dance have all achieved Gold, so must CO! We can do it people! We're gonna get a Gold! Jia you everyone! SYF's this wednesday!

Speaking of which, after SYF, we sec 4s are gonna step down. I'm seriously dreading that day. I don't wanna step down. I'm going to miss CO so much. I can't bear to leave my section. I've learnt to love them so much despite getting mad and irritated by them on quite a number of occasions. They were once a source of motivation in my times of trial. They've brought fun, joy and laughter into my life. Without CO, I would never have met so many wonderful, talented, and nice friends/juniors/seniors. I'll never forget you guys, love ya all!

And recently, especially after Musical Epoch II, I feel that CO has become much more bonded together. It's also because of the upcoming SYF that everyone has become so motivated to work hard and improve ourselves. We then spend more time together and establish bondship (man, so social studies: bilateral ties). Haha. I'm brainwashed.

By the way, last thursday, our class went to watch Boeing Boeing, a local play, at Victoria Theatre. It was a rather eventful day, so to speak, in my case at least. So after Protected Time, everyone rushed home to shower, change and all and dress nicely. I wore this light pink dress with spaghetti strap and white high-heels. I met Chuan Li, Song Wei and Si Hui at Tampines MRT station and we were joined by Shi Yun at Bedok MRT station. Then we headed over to City Hall to meet Tallie, Emily, Hengky and Marcus. We then walked along Citi Link towards Delifrance for our dinner. Along the way, I saw MPH (a bookstore), got excited and began running towards it. Yup, in high-heels. And it was so lovely that I just HAD to trip, fall down AND sprain my left ankle. I almost died. We hadn't even had dinner! It was utterly embarrassing I tell you. Dressed so elegantly, I was limping pitifully throughout the night. How unglam.

Dinner at Delifrance was fine. The Deli Potato was really filling, I couldn't even finish half of it. Si Hui, Shi Yun and Billy had to help me finish it. We were joined by Shermaine, Rusydiana, Billy, Wei Qiang, Zi Hao, Zhi Xin, Samuel, Sang Jin and so on. Then we had to walk over to Victoria Theatre and my classmates were really very nice. Walking at my pace, helping me and all. Thank you so much everyone! The play was really good. Hilarious, so to speak. The entire theatre was filled with laughter. Even Mr Tan laughed and smiled! For like the 5th time since last year? I can actually count. After the play, it was really late, about 10pm. Then we took pictures outside Fullerton, along Clarke Quay and Boat Quay. It was so fun! They actually wanted to have supper at Lau Pa Sat, but my classmates strictly forbid me to go because of my sprained ankle. In the end, no one went Lau Pa Sat, but a small group of people went Simpang Bedok to eat Roti Prata. The rest went home, but Chuan Li, Hengky and Song Wei escorted me back to Pasir Ris. Thanks guys.

I have forgotten him. Or actually, I just realised that it was only an infatuation, an obssession, well, of some sort. Haha. But then here comes another problem: the other one made me dong xing.

2005-04-13T23:55:00.000+08:00

Aside from the Century Roxy Park Hotel incident when I was in primary 6, today is one of the freakiest day ever.

I was tired when I got home from school today, so I laid on the sofa and drifted off to sleep. After some time, I got woken up by something which hit my leg. I opened my eyes to see a bird less than half a metre away from me, standing the the edge of the sofa. I almost had a heart attack, but because I just woke up, I was a little disorientated. Then the bird pooped on the sofa. Yes, it POOPED on my sofa! Ugh. As you can see, it is abnormal for a bird to behave like this. Normally a bird would have flown away if any human gets too near it, but this particular bird actually hit my leg when it flapped its wings. Yeah, and woke me up from my nap. So my mum tried to catch and suceeded after some time. Then she brought it out into the garden.

After a few hours, my sister and I were on the computer, writing her literature poem. Then we saw the same bird again, it's back... now perched on top of the sofa. I seriously freaked. I was then overwhelmed by this really bad feeling, like I felt that perhaps the bird is trying to convey some message? Or perhaps something bad is going to happen? Like you know, a bad omen or a premonition of some sorts? I was so reminded of "I'm the King of the Castle", where Kingshaw was chased by a huge crow and how Hooper placed that stuffed crow on Kingshaw's bed in the middle of the night. But luckily, it's not a crow, I think it's a mynah. So my mum once again, caught it and brought it out. It kept resisting and shrieking, like it didn't want to leave the house. Once the bird was brought out of the house, we locked the grill and shut the glass door. And guess what? The bird... remained right outside the glass door... at that tiny space between the grill and the glass door. Now it's perched on the grill... looking into the house. It hasn't budged. It's just staring... and staring...

I'm never gonna be able to sleep tonight! Please let this horrible feeling abate. Frankly, I was so freaked out I almost cried. Okay, I gotta stop thinking about it... about that bird... that's still perched on the grill, yes, even now as I'm writing this... it's still there... staring... and just staring... Okay, stop, happy thoughts, happy thoughts...

Let's see, there was this self-practice today in the Artroom. My rubber band kept getting pulled off by the guys as usual. Next time, I'm seriously gonna bring back-up. Theophilus could play "Music of the Night" and "Think of Me" on the cello and it was really really beautiful. We played Chang Cheng and Xing Kong today. Then Xin Yi, Li Zhen, Pei Zhi, Theophilus and I left at about 5pm. It was raining heavy, I got partially drenched. But I should thank Pei Zhi and Theo for sharing their umbrella. =) Then I went to Pasir Ris to get my Biology textbook back from Joanne. After that, I spent some time at the library and Mac with my juniors. So fun. Heh, had a great time.

Oh yeah, people should really not spread rumours that aren't true. It does no one any good. It was blown WAY out of proportion today. Please, watch your mouth. (This doesn't refer to any of my juniors)

//I'm getting xing dong by you. I'm confused about my own feelings.//

2005-04-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

- It really hurts to let go of someone you love, but what hurts even more is when the person you love, lets you go so easily.

- Dont cry because it's over, Smile because it happened.

- If you love someone as much as you say you do, then go for it and don't let anyone stop you cause if you do, you will never get the chance that you had.

- Never forget yesterday... but always live for today...cuz you never know what tomorrow can bring...or what it can take away...

- ~*~When someone is trying to tell you something that they know will hurt you, you've got to understand that it will hurt them as much as when you hear it.~*~

- If I had a dime for every time i thought and dreamed of you
Then i'd be the richest girl in the world
But that wouldn't matter at all to me
Cause even with all that money
I'd still be lonely just thinking of you

- *You can always close your eyes to the things you don't want to see but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel*

- *Don't ever give up if you still want to try. Don't wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don't stop asking questions if you still want to know. Don't say you don't love him if you can't let him go*

Okay, I was just randomly picking out some quotes from a website. Today would have been a totally happy day. But violin lessons ruined it. I shan't go into details. It made me really depressed and for the first time, tears welled up in my eyes, but again, was gone in a minute.

CO was great today. Mushroom seemed to have gone kinda nuts. Then again, so have everyone else. Talked and laughed a lot today. The hi-hat seemed to have become known as my umbrella. Heh. Tai Feng was pretty good today and the cello section's body language was just beautiful man.

We had PE this morning and we ran 2.4km for the NAPFA test. For the first time, I clocked a timing of 13.47 minutes. It's an A!!! I was overwhelmed with a sense of euphoria. POL (haha, bai jie, talz, u know what I mean). I ran/jogged non-stop. But yeah, I'm paying the price now. My body hurts. Ouch. Then I went sorta nuts cheering for all the rest who were running. Then I got really thirsty and drank so much water that I felt like puking. How silly.

Choir got Gold. Band got Gold with Honours. CO, we're gonna do it! We're gonna give it our best shot! Only 9 more days! Let's all work hard and motivate each other! Remember, pitching, body langauge and pulse! Which reminds me of how I was going all "move leh" and a certain someone suddenly moved like a blob of jelly which got poked at. I almost died laughing.

2005-04-10T18:05:00.000+08:00

The result of three consecutive days of long hours of CO practices (and there's still practices tomorrow and on tuesday): a blister on my thumb and index finger. Ouch. It hurts leh. Maybe I ought to scotch-tape that hard plastic part of my bow, then it wouldn't cut into my fingers. Nevertheless, CO practices has returned back to the fun old days. Today's practice (yes, we had a practice today, a SUNDAY!) was fun! It felt pretty weird to go to school on a sunday, but the practice was enjoyable. Laughed a lot.

Conductor was late today, I think there was something wrong with his car. Then before that we were just practising randomly. But it was funny how we ended up playing Chang Cheng together. It started off with the flutes. Then erhu joined in. I heard and joined in, Wen Da and Lynn too. Then Theophilus heard and the cellos joined in. In the end, everyone played together. It was so cool! After that, Theophilus conducted Chang Cheng and Xing Kong once through. Then we went back to practising randomly until our conductor arrived.

But as a result, I had so much homework undone. Imagine on Friday, I had practice until 6pm. Saturday from 9am - 5pm. By the time I got back, I was so dead-tired. Then today got practice again. AND practices tomorrow, and on tuesday, and on friday, and on saturday and on sunday and on monday and on tuesday and finally... THE BIG DAY...

Yeah, we're gonna do our best and get that Gold!!! There's only a couple of days left, let's perservere on! Jia you~!

2005-04-07T01:43:00.000+08:00

Riiight, so tell me, what on earth am I doing blogging at this unearthly hour when I have school the next day? Well, actually, today, technically speaking, it's morning at 10 minutes to 2am.

Okay, so I'm depressed and confused and I don't feel like sleeping. Sigh, I just finished writing my english summary and I'm reading and talking to Joanne. It's been quite a while since I've read a nice good story. Though the current one is one of the most bizzare fanfics I've ever read, it's no doubt humourous. Yeap, funny enough to make me laugh out loud in front of the computer. Anyone who saw me, would have thought me insane. Actually, it's a pretty nutty sight. A girl sitting alone in front of the com in the living room in the wee hours of the morning, laughing to herself. Riiight.

I felt so demoralised during the Speech Day Rehersal today. I was so embarrassed. I played so out of pitch. No doubt that Wen Da and Theophilus could hear it clearly. Okay, so I should have re-tuned my gaohu after someone knocked it over. But oh well, there wasn't enough time, we were already on the stage and the curtains were gonna open. I'd better do something about my horrible pitching. *depressed*

Of course, that's not the only or main cause of my depression. It's a cumulative thing you know. It just keeps piling up and you get squished under the weight, stress and pressure of it. Okay, what am I talking about? Oh no, I'm rambling incessantly. Right, so it's about my sucky pitching, my sucky grades and those bombshells that my friends recently dropped on me, of which the contents, I shall prefer not to reveal. Don't ask, as the saying goes "Ignorance is bliss".

Now that, was very random. Actually, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Right, I ought to return back to my fanfic.

2005-04-05T19:23:00.000+08:00

I need to forget. I must forget. It's haunting me. It's wrecking havoc on my mind. It's not leaving me alone! I don't ever wanna go through that same pain again, it hurts too much. I'm gonna forget... I have to. There's no other saner option.

CO has fallen back into its old monotone routine. Something that used to bring me so much joy has now left me more depressed than ever. Everytime I find myself looking forward to CO practices, but after it ends, I'm left feeling worse than ever. Totally down in the dumps. I felt like crying in the car today. But nevermind, no tears.

Sometimes I just feel like giving up. I failed my Chemistry test again. Nothing seems to be going right. Everything is falling apart. Even my sanity. I know you don't know it, but I'm hurt by your words and actions. You don't have to know, I'll suffer in silence.

I'll be alright. Everything's gonna be just fine.

2005-04-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

Another bout of monday blues. With the addition of this freaking sorethroat that attacked me from out of the blue just a few hours ago. I just had my NAPFA test this morning during PE. It was a total disappointment I tell you. We did 5 stations today and I scored As for everything and that perfect score is only to be marred by a B and a D. I wished I could redo.

Anyway, enough about that. I crashed into a canteen bench in school today. How embarrassing. Talk about accident-prone. Hah. I think everyone is over-stressed. Karen was hallucinating in class today I think and we couldn't stop laughing. Things kept dropping off our tiny lecture 'desks'. Sometimes my imagination just runs wild in classes and I just burst out laughing abruptly. Yeah, and people start staring at me. Riiight... You must be thinking I'm nuts.

//I can't say that I'm not hurt by your words, because I am. //

2005-03-29T20:10:00.000+08:00

For the first time in many weeks, I did not enjoy CO practice. Usually CO makes my day, it makes me smile, laugh, hyper, insane and all sorts of nutty and happy stuff, but today I just felt so down in the dumps and I felt like crying. I couldn't even smile properly. All I managed was to plaster a fake smile on my face that lasted for a few seconds.

Maybe the workload of school is getting to me. My life is like totally gone now that there's the English group course thingy (every monday after school), Chemistry Tutorial (3 times a week, after Protected Time), and NOW, there is this Physics High Achievers thingy. You are given challenging Physics papers to do from those prestigious schools and even from JC, every week. Plus there's still the Chinese Essay Course and CO practices has intensified due to the impending SYF Competition. I think I'm gonna break down soon. -_-||| Teachers are dishing out so much homework and expecting us to finish it in record time. Oh and did I mention, that they actually gave us THREE papers for the English group? Oh man...

Today just sucks lah, k. I'm feeling utterly shitty and lousy now. I shall stop whining and spare you all from another good round of complaints. Log out.

2005-03-28T18:07:00.000+08:00

Today is the start of another new week. Talk about monday blues. Our class is out of the homeroom system as Shen Shen's leg is injured and is unable to move around the school too much. Our temporary classroom is the old PE store, which is thankfully renovated and air-conditioned. But there are no tables and the sliding 'table' attached to those lecture chairs are so tiny. I kept hearing stationaries drop.

There was a book sale in school today! So exciting, but there were very little romance/suspense novels. Nevertheless, I did buy a book, thought I had my eyes set on 4. And you know, we had PE today, and after PE, is Physics class. Everyone trooped into the air-conditioned room, sticky and sweaty. Then someone sprayed the entire class with so much perfume/deodorant that some of us began coughing. *gag*

During the english high achievers class, Esther sat beside me and we disturbed each other throughout the class. Haha, laughed too much le. Anyway, got violin lessons now! My teacher's probably gonna have a heart attack when he hears how terrible my "Silver Tears of the Moon" will sound.

2005-03-26T15:52:00.000+08:00

Hey Muffin, thanks for mentioning me in that list. I feel so honoured. Haha. No sarcasm intended.

Today is the last day where our conductor would come before he leaves for London for the dunno what festival thingy. CO was fun today. As usual, we gaohus were our nutsy self, maybe with the exception of Wen Da, who's probably the sanest of us gaohus. So yeah, we were like laughing for dunno what reasons (sorry, STM, another common trait of gaohus), and Zheng Lao Shi was like complaining about our 'tai feng' again. And again, he came and shook me from side to side as demonstration. I was like 'diaox'. Yeah, so anyway, my section decided to like move and though I couldn't see the effect since I was in front, I assumed it was quite nice.

Then Lynn decided that we should all drink water at the same time. I meant the front row of people: Si Lei, Lynn, Wen Da and me. So the four of us took out our water bottles and drank at the same time. I couldn't see how it looked like coz I was drinking as well but the mental image in my mind was hilarious. I couldn't help it but laugh. The result was disastrous. My epiglottis opened and water went down my trachea (windpipe). I began coughing and very nearly spewed out water at my conductor. But I managed to swallow the water first then I began coughing violently. So embarrassing can? People was looking at me, including the conductor. Oh man...

Sigh, the 3 sec 1s so poor thing, like come for nothing lor. I was so tired today coz I slept at like 2am last night, but then I was so hyper after the break, maybe coz I talked to the sec 1s. Ahaha. Don't ask me why, I don't know.

Theophilus conducted Chang Cheng today and he's good! I'm impressed. Then I was sooo tired, I almost fell asleep in the bus on my way home and almost missed my stop. Phew. I got jerked awake on the bus right at my stop. Climbing the stairs of the overhead bridge was like the road to eternity. Not to mention I got drenched in that sudden downpour today and it was freezing in the bus!

And Eileen ah, cheer up kaes? Don't think too much about it and don't get too affect by it. Remember what I said k? You can do it gal! ^_^

2005-03-25T18:08:00.000+08:00

All of a sudden, I got overwhelmed by a wave of depression. Sigh. What on earth is wrong with me? Maybe it's because of the never-ending pile of homework, tests, assignments and projects? Maybe it's because I'm leaving CO soon? Maybe it's because I'll never get to play my darling gaohu after I stepped down again? Maybe it's because of the impending O' levels? Maybe it's because... ...

Ah well, it's an accumulation of everything. Sec 4. The stress level is really unimaginable. My grades are dropping like shit no matter how much I study. Everything just sucks! Sometimes I just feel like giving up and not study. Like I just don't wanna care anymore... But, obviously I can't do that. Of course I know that part of the reason of my busyness (is there such a word? or did I spell it wrongly?) is because of the countless long CO practices. But CO. It's the only thing I enjoy doing now, aside from reading novels and anything else related to music, like my violin or piano. It's the only thing that I look forward to in school and it's also the only thing that makes me smile and happy, again aside from my novels and some of my good friends. Something's wrong with my sentence structure?? Ugh. See, even my English is deteriorating.

And I realised that it isn't good to hold back your tears too often. Now that I can control my tears, I find that I can hardly cry anymore. And even if I did, the tears would just well up in my eyes, after a minute or so, my eyes would be dry again. Or at the very most, I would cry silently for a few minutes and that's it. No more tears. And I would look no different than my usual old self. But in actual fact, crying is very good way of relief. Sometimes I just wanna cry my heart out. Shut myself in my room and sob for all I want. But again, no tears. They just won't come. I feel so awful whenever I feel like crying and I just can't no matter how. So my word of advice: Don't hold back your tears. It's good to be strong, but it's alright to cry once in awhile. Just let it all out...

2005-03-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm back due to complaints from my juniors that I haven't been blogging for a very long time. Haha. I don't know what to say. Life's a total monotone in sec 4. Aside from studying, revising and doing homework, it's still studying, revising and doing homework. With the exception of CO practices of course, which seems to be the only thing that I'm really looking forward to and really enjoying in school.

Today I finally felt that I could have a breather. I felt so suffocated since school re-opened. The workload is unimaginably huge. I just had a Physics Test today, which I'm not so sure of how well I've done, but oh well, it's over. Tomorrow is our school's Sports Meet, so there's no school and Friday is Good Friday. Yeap, "song le yi kou qi". Though I'm still laden with huge piles of homework over the weekends. Sigh, it's inevitable anyway.

For some unknown reasons, I missed playing golf. Yeah, the very same sport that gave me horrible muscle aches that make me wince in pain everytime I make the slightest movement. Maybe I'll go play after my Os.

Okay, what on earth am I rambling on about... Random, irrelevant thoughts that surfaces in my mind every now and then... I'm laughing a tad bit too much nowadays. I must be losing it. The stress is getting to my head. Yeap.

2005-03-07T16:59:00.000+08:00

I feel like shit and I look like hell. Apparantly, my illnesses has escalated beyond my wildest imagination. Alright, that was a bit over, but my sickness DID escalate. A lot.

I went to bed last night at around 11.30pm (which is considered early in my case) feeling slightly feverish. I thought of getting an ice pack, but then I thought a good night's sleep would chase it away and I was also too drained to climb from the third storey to the first just to get an ice pack. So I went to sleep, thinking I would be better in the morning. I was so wrong.

A raging fever woke me up at 2.40am in the morning. I groped around for the thermometer. 37.7 degrees celsius. Okay, I thought, and ambled downstairs to grab two ice packs, before returning to bed. After some time, I realised two things: I was unable to get back to sleep and my fever refused to subside, despite the two ice packs. I felt like on fire yet I was shaking like a leaf under my blanket. I reached for the thermometer again. And what in the world?! My fever has, instead of going down, risen all the way up to 38.0 degrees celsius. Truth be told, I was panicking and getting a bit paranoid. I felt downright awful and all I wanted then was for someone to comfort me. Unfortuantely, it was 3 am in the morning, who else could I turn to but myself? I calmed myself down, went downstairs and took two panadols. Then I returned to my room, switched off the air-conditioner, threw open the door and went back to bed, without even switching on the fan. Even then, I was still shivering under my blanket. I squeezed my eyes shut and made myself go to sleep. Thankfully, I succeeded.

When I woke up this morning, the fever has gone down, though not completely, but I was no longer shivering. I decided to go to school. Yeah, because of the Chemistry test and because at sec 4, if you miss any lessons, that's it. You get totally lost. I felt so awful in school. I kept coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose. Now my nose feels like it's gonna drop off. I managed to endure through the whole day in school, even through Homework Time. But on my way home on the bus, I felt like total shit. My eyes hurt so much they feel swollen and like they're gonna tear any moment. My nose hurts badly too, after blowing them for like the what - hundredth time? After I got off the bus, I felt like collasping while crossing the stupid overhead bridge. Just feel like dropping dead there. But yeah, I made it home and took a look at myself in the mirror. My lips were so pale, they were almost the same colour as my face. Woo~ Okay, I need to rest now. My mum insists on bringing me to the doctor later. What can I say?

2005-03-05T15:07:00.000+08:00

I am sick. Perhaps that's a blessing in disguise. For the first time in many months, I finally got my eight hours of sleep. Yeah, I didn't go for CO today. I stayed in bed for a very long time, reading and resting. So tired. I'm down with a fever, sore throat and cough. Hope I'll be well by Monday coz I wanna do PE, even though volleyball isn't exactly the most enjoyable game due to the amount of pain inflicted on your arms. But I go all hyper during PE, so yeah.

Yesterday I laughed a lot during CO. Yeah, Lynn lah. During full orchestra practice, her bow hit my elbow and pushed my elbow. I stared at her, vice versa and we burst out laughing. Despite my feeling ill, I couldn't help laughing so much yesterday. Which reminds me of one particular occasion where my face simply refuses to cooperate with me. I couldn't stop smiling. I tried to bring my mouth down into a scowl, and failed miserably. I ended up looking constipated for a few moments before the corners of my mouth lifted and I went back to smiling idiotically, like the cat who got the canary. The reason why, is for me to know, and you, to find out.

Anyway, I'm feeling tired again. I sense the beginnings of a terrible headache. I'm probably gonna retreat to the comforts of my bed again and go sleep or rest. Ahhh, I have a Chemistry test on monday. That so sucks! Okay, I'm really feeling very tired now, gonna go back to bed.

2005-02-24T18:03:00.000+08:00

Stress. Which causes your adrenal glands to secret adrenaline and thus increase your rate of heartbeat, metabolic rate, dilates your pupils to enhance vision and blah blah blah. Okay, I just had my Biology test on the nervous system, the eye and the endocrine system. So pardon me.

I am so stressed out. Today I got my O' levels Registration booklet and verification slip. The dates and time of the examinations are out. And the exam fees are so freaking expensive. On some days, there are two papers squished together. Tough papers nonetheless. And the time of some examintions are just ungodly. Like Chemistry paper 2 at 4pm in the afternoon?!

Can I just go and die? No, of course not. Great, I'm talking to myself. Ahaha. Very nice (sarcastic tone). Right, so I shan't be wasting anymore time ranting and raving on about stress and how it affects and body and about the O levels examinations. There's a cross-country tomorrow. And I need to go like finish up my Chinese Essay. Oh and can you believe this? I actually have LESSONS after CROSS-COUNTRY!?!?!?! Like nuts or wat? Who on earth can study and write an essay properly after running like mad?

2005-02-22T21:32:00.000+08:00

I sat nervously in my seat, fidgeting around as I heard the A-Math teacher called out student one by one to receive back their Circular Measure test paper. Finally, I heard my name after straining my ears for a few nerve-wreaking minutes. I walked up to the teacher, feeling apprehensive. I had studied for the test. I had all the formulas at my fingertips. I had practised a lot and I knew how to solve them. I took the paper from my teacher and walked back to my seat, not daring to look at my marks. Finally, I lifted the corner of the paper and saw in big red ink, 9/20.

It is just these kind of happenings that totally ruins your day. Having known that you studied so hard for a paper, expecting you would do pretty well or at the very least pass it, but no, you fail. But okay, I admit, it's my fault, I made a careless mistake and calculated sin90 degrees in radian mode, which totally caused me 11 marks. Or else, I could have scored full marks.

Same goes for my Chemistry test. I studied an entire afternoon and even did all the Section B of the TYS for both chapters being tested. And yet, I failed. My English is deteoriorating (see, I'm not even sure if I spelled this correctly). I'm making mistakes that I would never have made so commonly in the past. I'm commiting very simple mistakes that shouldn't even appear in my work at all; mistakes as simple as writing the wrong singular or plural form of word. The number of mistakes I made for a few simple vocabularly exercises Mr Tan gave us totally stunned me.

I don't know why my results are plummeting like this. It's not as if I didn't study. I did! Haiz, I should just work even harder.

Today the Sec 1s started sectionals. And the seniors? We slack! Coz Zheng Lao Shi was with the sec 1s in another classroom. But I wasn't slacking lah, I did practice Xin Kong and Chang Cheng and some other random songs, even the scales. Then I finished up my Biology worksheet and read through the chapter on the Eye. Wen Da was practising. Yeah, he's always practising, though not the SYF songs all the time. So was Pei Zhi and Jotham. Those three were sitting together. Lynn was looking through the pictures in Jelly's cellphone. Suddenly she blurted out loudly "Valerie, you look FAT!!!" I halted my movements and was like 'DiAoX', as laughter, sniggers and giggles erupted all over the classroom. Man, that Lynn arz. Fine, so I looked fat in that particular photo. Somebody slap me if you see me eat any chocolates or ice-cream. At least, I don't look fat in real life. I don't, do I?

Ah well, nevermind. Better get on with my Literature homework before random thoughts start zooming into my head and I drift away again.

2005-02-20T14:30:00.000+08:00

I.Have.Gone.Nuts. Yes! I have lost my sanity! This is one of the most productive weekend ever. On Friday, after I got home from CO at about 6.45pm, I took a short nap and then had dinner. Then I proceeded to revise Biology, the Nervous System. After that I studied my Social Studies guidebook then went to sleep at about 12 midnight.

On Saturday, I had CO from 8.30am in the morning till 1pm in the afternoon. Then I had Bible Study and lunch with Susan until about 3pm before I went home. Again, I took a nap, coz I was so exhausted. Then I woke up, had dinner then proceeded to scour the stacks of newspapers for my social studies articles assignment. Then I went to type out my summary, reflections and relevance to NE in the com before I print out to re-copy onto my book. Troublesome I know, but its easier. Well, at least for me. So I did the SS articles until about 2.30am in the morning. Yeah, with breaks in between coz I was sms-ing my friends and got a bit distracted. Amazingly, I wasn't feeling sleepy. So I whipped out my A-Math TYS, foolscap paper, calculator and did my tuition homework, until 3am in the morning. Then... I went to sleep. Ahaha.

Today, I woke up at 8am. My dad just came back from places all over the world. Yeah, I forgot which countries he went to, lost count. Whee, and he bought a lovely necklace. Then I went to shower to freshen myself up and at 9am, I had tuition. For 4 hours. Yes, FOUR-HOURS tuition. I am so shocked that I actually survived through that without feeling sleepy! I did Sets, Differentiation and Rates of Change. Tuition ended at 1pm, and I continued with my social studies articles, writing the summary, reflections and all into my book, until 2.30pm. Now, here I am, rambling away. I can't believe I actually sat at my desk and studied for 5 and a half hours consecutively today.

Despite what I've done. I still gotta revise my Social Studies because there's a test tomorrow. And I've got two SS structured essays to edit and re-write. And I've gotta finish up that Chinese essay. AND... I gotta do an early revision for my Biology test, because there're three huge chapters being tested. Tell me why do people comtemplate suicide sometimes?

Just kidding, the thought never crossed my mind. Haha. Like I said, I'm nuts, so pardon me. Alright, I'd better go and practice my violin. It totally slipped my mind yesterday until 11pm, which my mum forbid me to practice coz it would disturb our neighbours.

2005-02-13T23:01:00.000+08:00

I've just been to two of the most incredible houses today. My dad's secondary school teacher's house and a captain pilot's house. We went to my dad's sec sch teacher's house first.

Firstly, it's not just a house, it's not even fit to be called a bungalow... it's a... mansion. Yeah, you know the terrace house I live in? Put 10 of those together and you get the picture. There's even a really big rectangular swimming pool. Plus a library, complete with floor to ceilings shelves, sofas and a carpet on the ground. Of course, there're roman pillars in the house. Even the toilet door handle is crystal-like. Then we had lunch by the pool. Dining table draped in white cloth, real posh and all. And there's a spiral staircase leading to the second storey and a balcony overlooking the pool and entrance of the house.

Now, about the second house, a captain pilot's house. The minute you step in, you feel like you're in a ballroom at a hotel. The marble flooring has a couple of beautiful classy carpets. Yes, the house has roman pillars as well, and victorian chairs. The whole place is air-conditioned and has soft orange lighting. It's just beautiful I tell you. It even has a mini bar and the table in front of it is draped in a dark green cloth and there's a variety of food layed out. All the while, there's soft classical music played in the background and many people are drinking wine and all. It's really classy and lovely. Then we lao yu sheng and ate and drank, with my dad's other pilot friends. And the toilet, my goodness, looks like the toilets in hotels. Shining walls, marble I think, and very beautifully decorated.

Ah, I'd better stop rambling about those houses. I just got home and I am one dead girl. I feel SO tired and I have yet to do my English Summary and wrap up the Valentine's Day gifts for my friends. Alright, I'd better go. Cya.

2005-02-12T16:03:00.000+08:00

I finally changed my blog skin, which didn't take me too long either, thankfully. I've got tuition later... (grumbles) which means either Permutations and Combinations or Differentiation. Neither of which I'm looking forward to. Sigh.

Xin Kong is a really nice song, but we don't play it really nicely. I mean the slower and more emotional the song is, the harder it is, because you really have to go into it, play with all your heart and feel the music. CO was the usual today, with the exception of getting jabbed by my junior's (Lynn) bow so many times I lost count.

Gee, I haven't been practising my violin, better go brush up on my scales, arpeggios and exam pieces.

2005-02-10T22:11:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna be sick if I eat anymore New Year goodies. School's re-opening tomorrow. Sigh. But Valentine's Day is coming! I'm waiting to hear Shi Yun's Morning Digest speech. Heh. Sadly, on Valentine's Day I have a date, with my textbooks, worksheets and assignments. How lovely.

Hey, to all 6K 2001, a 6K Gathering after the O' levels anyone? Well, of course, if anyone's gonna organise one... *cough*Mark*cough*. We invite Mr. Ang this time ya?

Alright, I've got nothing else to say.

2005-02-09T20:44:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year has never been so unhappy, but I shan't go into details about it. Even the CO's performance sounded so dead. There was no life nor atmosphere and I made mistakes.

I just finished reading a book, The Silver Coin. The genre is one of my favourite blend: thriller (murder) and romance. It's a really good book, but it affected me emotionally a lot. Like how Talz felt when she read Eternal Love. I like the author's writing style. The way she writes how the assassin moves in to make his kill, how he threatens his victims and outsmart them. Hey, I'm not a sadist ya, I just like her writing style, not the assassin and how he kills. Too bad Royce Chadwick is just a fictional character. Sigh.

I realise I'm getting dependent on my books to cheer me up. Whenever I'm sad, I read. I'm mad, I read. Even when I'm feeling neutral, books make me laugh. Once, I was reading a novel during full orchestra practice, then I began laughing coz of some funny events in the book. But since it's practice, I tried to quell it and and my body ended up shaking in silent laughter. My junior, Wen Da stared at me like I've gone nuts or something.

The teachers have not spared us. I got homework and assignments during the Chinese New Year. Talk about stress.

2005-02-06T13:47:00.000+08:00

3 hours of A-Math tuition doing Differentiation has killed my brain cells. I just found out that... I calculated sin90 DEGREES in RADIAN mode!!! (kills myself) And because of that stupid blunder, I failed my A-Math test! Yes! Failed! By one frigging mark!!! Haiz.

I'm going up for Morning Digest tomorrow. Sigh, wish me luck. I'm may not be nervous now, but the moment when Mdm Audra says "Morning Digest please", I know my heart will slam into my throat, my heart beat will accelerate like mad and I will walk up there on shaky legs. Ah well, there's Chemistry test tomorrow too. Sian.

BUT... there's violin lessons tomorrow! And... I went to Mingxi's place yesterday and tried out a couple of violins. The one I really really like is...8.5K, totally out of the question. Besides it's a full size. I still have some trouble with full size though I can play it, so Mingxi gave me a 7/8 violin. The wood is nice! Varnished too and I just absolutely love the case!!! Though it's heavy. The sound is not too bad either. Just need to wait for Eric's (my violin teacher) verdict tomorrow.

Okay, I'd better go study Chemistry.

2005-01-28T20:09:00.000+08:00

Gone... My rosin is gone... It shattered into many pieces when it dropped off from Xin Yi and Hong Kun's music stand on the afternoon of our Musical Epoch Concert 2005. So sad. Now I need to buy a new rosin, which costs like about $15 (depending on the brand)! For a small round piece of rosin, that's really expensive. Ah well, I'll just drop by Yamaha someday.

We finally played Xing Kong (Starry Night) for the first time with the full orchestra today. IT'S SO NICE!!! I love it! But there's definately plenty of room for improvements. It's such a slow and emotional song. I really hope we can make it. Pray.

2005-01-25T21:14:00.000+08:00

What a day. So frigging depressing can. I was just flipping through the past entries of my diary and 99% of them either starts off with "I'm so frickin' tired", "It's a such a depressing day..." or "Today is another one of those worst-days-of-my-life". I'm talking about entries concerning year 2005.

We had another meeting today. The atmosphere was so depressing. Everyone looked so dejected and despondent. Sectionals was no better and I almost dozed off in a sitting position coz I was so exhausted, both mentally and physically. I feel so weighed down now and just thinking about the endless piles of unfinished homework which teachers are still continuously dishing out, I just feel like crying.

I just feel so down in the dumps. After CO, we had yet another meeting, which lasted for quite a long time. Then I didn't feel like going home. Band was just released then, so I went off with Aiysha. We went Century Square for a while and I began looking for books of hope and encouragement, as well as inspirational books. I needed them badly. But yeah, they're just too expensive for me to buying them on-the-spot.

After that, I just didn't feel like going home yet. All I wanted to do then was to go to some serene, peaceful and calm place, like the beach, but it was too late. I boarded the bus reluctantly and reached home at 8.17pm.

CO aside. Teachers are dishing out homework and tests like... like... free pamplets or brochures. At this rate, I'm gonna end up at the Institute of Mental Health very soon. I feel so suffocated by the amount of workload, I can't breathe. Speaking of which, I'd better go now, I've got a Physics Test tomorrow.

2005-01-23T11:25:00.000+08:00

Musical Epoch was great! Well, except for the Erhu Ensemble piece: Chang Shan Ge. Early that morning, I actually woke up without the aid of my alarm clock screaming into my ear. I set my alarm at 8.30am, and voila, I woke up of my own accord at 7am. That is quite a miracle coz I'll usually doze on like a pig until around 10+ am without my alarm clock making its presence known.

So anyway, I was really hyper yesterday. I don't know, I couldn't stop fidgeting and moving around. We took quite a number of pictures in school and in Dunman High School. Then we had a final rehersal, where I finally heard Chu Yuan play his gu zheng and was dumbstruck. He is so GOOD!!! Oh my goodness, I never knew he could play like that! It's the first time I've ever seen him so into music and so serious while playing. Anyway, after we finished our rehersal, we had dinner. And like one quarter of the audience has already arrived. I saw my parents. And Aiysha! We ran towards each other and colllided rather painfully, so to speak.

Then we had to get seated on stage by 7.20pm. My section was already at the side, waiting to go on stage, but no one was on stage, and it's weird. Then the Pipas went on stage, so we did too. Yeah, then everyone got on stage, the Emcee began talking and the CO video was played. So touching. But ok, I looked pretty stupid. Then we began with Jing Chu Xiong Feng and Di Tanjong Katong. Then the Erhu Ensemble: Chang Shan Ge.

Ahhh!!! Usually, we could play it well. But today, everything was a mess! The pulse was running, everyone was rushing. Shawn started out slow then we rushed and he had to follow us. All in all, it was... MESSY!!! Ah well, it's over.

Then my section had a long long break... We hung around the CO room, practised a bit, talked, snapped photos, walk around, felt kinda depressed about Chang Shan Ge and etc. Finally... it's Chang Cheng Sui Xiang (The Great Wall Capricco). The final piece, also our SYF Choice Piece. Yeah, that was okay. Then the conductor got a bouquet of chocolates, which he passed to a bewildered and confused me. Then the audience began shouting "Encore" then Zheng Lao Shi came out again and we played "Xing Nian Ge Er Da Jia Chang". He even made the audience clap along. And then, the concert was over. In the blink of an eye. It was so fast...

Months of hard work... Hours of practices... All over in just two short hours. I'm left with a bittersweet feeling.

2005-01-21T20:37:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the day. Yeap. THE day. Of our Musical Epoch Concert 2005. It's also one of the prime reason of my frustrations, anger, stress and pressure these few days.

This has a been a terrible week. Since school re-opened, life has been terrible, but this week is... well, beyond terrible. I had like an emotional breakdown and cried a bit in front of my junior. Which was, not to mention, extremely embarrassing, especially since I was in the Artroom in school.

The concert has somehow created a lot of problems, regarding the attire, especially the ties, all the last minute work with all the programme booklets which I had sacrificed my recess to do. And of course, the bombshell which our teacher dropped on us one fine Tuesday afternoon. That, I will not touch on.

With powers, comes great responsiblities. With great responsibilities comes great stress. Sigh, being SL and Score Librarian drives me insane. Being SL is fine. But I don't think I'll ever wanna be a Score Librarian again. It gives me white hair.

2005-01-16T22:01:00.000+08:00

I just had my dinner. Yeah, at this time. Apparently, everyone was so busy with their own work that time flew by unnoticed and no one seemed to be hungry.

So, anyway, first thing in the morning after I woke up, I had 3 hours of A-Math tuition. My brain promptly mal-functioned soon after. Then I began slacking and listening to songs before my mum got irritated seeing me on the computer and decided to chase me to the study to do my homework. So off to the study I went and whipped out my Biology textbook to make notes on Homeostasis, with Russell Watson blasting away on my CD player in the background.

After a couple of hours and 6 pages of notes, my brain died on me again. But thankfully, I had already finished making notes on Homeostasis. So I went downstairs and played my violin. I practically ran through all the scales (well, maybe not all), chromatics, arpeggios and whichever random song I felt like playing.

I felt like slacking, but my conscience kept nagging at me. SO... I got out a pile of newspapers and began sifting through them for articles for my Social Studies assignment. Some time later, my youngest sister seems to find it a lovely time to disturb me while I sat hunched over the dining table scanning those articles. From the corner of my eye, I saw her a couple of feet away, creeping around like a suspicious figure with a trick up her sleeve. Rolling my eyes, I ignored her and continued flipping through the newspaper. And then... PIAK! A fake rubber cockroach landed right smack in front of me, a few centimentres from falling off the table onto my lap. Not to mention, it almost sailed right into my glass of milk beside the newspapers. Oh, the horror. Thankfully, I was mentally prepared, so I didn't like fly off my chair or scream like a banshee.

Okay, I'm gonna go on yet another book hunt. I want "Notes From an Even Smaller Island" by Neil Humphreys. Yeah, people who reads Today, I'm sure you find this author familiar.

2005-01-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

One more week to Musical Epoch! I can't wait! Sigh, they HAD to change the costume at the last minute to all black and I had a really hard time finding a plain, black, long-sleeved shirt this afternoon. Even G2000 didn't have it. But yeah, I finally bought it at This Fashion. Of course, there are alterations to be done. My section's tie colour is awful. With a white shirt, it's fine, but not with a black shirt. They should have just let the section decide and buy it themselves. Ah well, nevermind.

My mind is flooded with Ross Roy. I was having tuition just now and all I could think of most of the time is Ross Roy. Ahhh!!! Luckily, I could still manage to concentrate on solving those trigonometric equations.

Somehow, I can't wait for the end of the year to arrive yet at the same time, I don't wish for the end of the year to arrive. My violin teacher might be taking us to Italy to learn more about violins at the end of the year. All the waiting is gonna kill me. And IF CO gets a Gold for SYF, we might be going overseas too. Of course, that's a really BIG 'IF'. Sigh... SYF is so pressurising. And if those two big events are ever gonna crash, I'm gonna die. And, there's the not-to-be-missed O' levels Examinations. Which of course, I'm not looking forward to. But then again, maybe it's better to get it over with. And my Violin Exams!!! Sigh, I wonder how and when can I EVER find the time to cram all those major and minor scales, chromatics, arpeggios, dominant and dimished sevenths and the 3 exam pieces in my head. And this is excluding the Theory Exam.

Right, so I should stop wasting my time on the computer here and get on with my homework.

2005-01-12T17:55:00.000+08:00

Sigh, another friendship broken. I hate it when stuff relating to BGRs break up friendships. I'm almost convinced NEVER to have another relationship again. It just sucks. It spoils friendships and makes me depressed, even though I'm not the one getting heartbroken. I should just get married to my violin. Or my books... or maybe even the library.

2005-01-09T20:27:00.000+08:00

I love my violin! I love my violin! I love my violin!

I mean the violin that my sis and I share. I've gotten the Violin fever. Today, at Yamaha, Aiysha and I were playing this really beautiful upright piano. She said that it sounded too bright. Then I said "But it's a really beautiful violin." She stared at me and said "Violin?" It took me a full second to realise my mistake, smack myself on the forehead and sputter "No, I mean PIANO... piano..."

I want my own violin... I'm still waiting for my mum to agree to let me have my own violin, a good one, not those really cheap ones that you get for a few hundred dollars. Like my sis's violin, its no more than $300 and the sound quality is terrible. It sounds so muffled. The violin arch isn't very good either. Like Mingxi once said, "Finding a good violin that you intend to own for a long period of time is like searching for a husband." But so far, I haven't found a lovely, nice, good quality violin that I like a lot, EXCEPT... for my teacher's violin. Argh... I LOVE his violin!!! But good violins costs a bomb. My teacher's violin costs 10K. Yup, 10, 000. But it's so pretty! The wood is really good too!

Mingxi has this nice small full-size that he wanted me to try, but it's 2K and my dad isn't willing to spend that much on a violin. Or at least, not yet. All I can do now, is to wait... and wait... and wait... Meanwhile, adoring the violin that my sis and I share. I love to hug my violin, as I did last evening, while half-sleeping on the sofa. And I was practising like mad today. From scales, to chromatics, to arpeggios, to Czardas, to The Silver Tears of the Moon, to playing anything in my mind. I was practising before I left the house to meet Aiysha and Ahmad. When I got home, the first thing I did after dropping my bag and jacket on the chair was to pick up my violin.

Whoa, I actually wrote an entire entry on violins alone. Alright, enough about violins, I need to go finish up my Chinese essay now.

I love violins! ^-^

2005-01-08T19:26:00.000+08:00

Hiya~ I'm back! I haven't update in ages because since school re-opened, I felt like I've been run down by a train and bulldozed over. It's the weekends, and I can finally have a breather. I felt so suffocated with all the work piled up high. Really, it's only the first week of school and voila - 5 upcoming tests and a whole ton of homework that never ends. Oh yeah, and one test is already over, Physics test. Which I obtained only a mere borderline pass. How pathetic.

Yesterday was CCA Orientation Concert, I had to be the Emcee for the front part and I made two mistakes. A hole in the ground then would be very appropriate, coz I would like to crawl into it. CO is getting to my head, strings as well. All day long, my mind is being haunted by all the CO songs; when I'm about to sleep, when I'm eating, washing dishes, studying, walking, running... blah...

Last night, I practised my violin for an hour without stopping. I finally got that part of Czardas right! I'm so happy. But after that, my thumb went totally numb and my neck felt cramped. Ouch.

This year, we're supposed to have the 5-day-week, but guess what, I just had a full-day CO practice today and I am feeling dead right now. I'm so freaking tired and I've partially lost my voice from shouting at my section. Have you all any idea how tiring it is to conduct and shout all the freaking time just to get your attention? Argh! Nevermind...

After CO, on my way home, some stupid cat looked like it was gonna attack me. Block my way somemore. What in the world... Argh, make me so angry. I got back home and thought abt that big pile of homework sitting on my desk. Oh man...

By the way, I suddenly like Italian opera, because of Russell Watson! My goodness, I tell you, he has such a fantastic voice. When he sang "You Raise Me Up", I felt like crying. His voice is so rich, so powerful and has depth. He sang with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra! Okay, I'm going ballistic, Talz, it's your fault! You introduced me to Russell Watson... But thanks actually, his voice is so great. ^-^

2005-01-02T14:16:00.000+08:00

In the blink of an eye, year 2004 is gone and a new year has arrived. Frankly, for the first time in my life, I'm not at all embracing the new year with enthusiasm, even though with the homeroom system in school and all, it's pretty exciting, but I'm really dreading the impending O' levels.

On the night of New Year's Eve, I was talking to a couple of friends in my level online. Seems to me that we're all pretty upset and worried about the coming year. Jo's New Year greeting sounded so dead... Poor girl...

Regarding the homeroom system, it's only partial. It's not total homeroom. Sigh, we're still sort of in a class. Sadly. It'll really be great if they had changed it to total homeroom, I could have been in the same class as people whom I've never been in the same class with before.

School's re-opening tomorrw. Not exactly a thing to rejoice about, I must say. I'm such an idiot to have procrastinated my application for a locker. Imagine the books I'd have to haul around should no one decide to share with me their locker until I get my own. Time really does fly. It seemed only yesterday when I first stepped into Temasek with that wide-eyed look. And now I'm in my final year. Tomorrow sure is a day filled with excitment yet apprehension and dread.

Anyway, on to other issues. Musical Epoch is drawing nearer with the coming and going of each day. Frankly, I'm pretty excited about it and I can't wait.

Surprisingly, I have actually ran out of things to say. I'm getting all jittery about tomorrow. It'll be back to school, facing all the teachers, studies, school work and homework. Of course, I'll be looking forward to seeing all my friends again. Sigh, too many things are getting to me. I'm losing my mind. *laughs*

2004-12-29T19:55:00.000+08:00

The earthquake and tsunami that recently occured around Asia is really depressing. The number of casualties is staggering. It was a total catastrophe. Many people are homeless now. My aunt's in some sort of organization and they said they needed blankets and clothes. I dug through my wardrobe just now and gave away 11 blankets and an entire box of clothes. It seems that many disasters are occuring now. What with 911, SARS, the Nicoll Highway collasp and now this earthquake and tsunami. It's depressing. Really.

I just came back from Loyang Point. I went there to photocopy some scores for CO practice tomorrow. Upon reaching, I realised that I had forgotten to bring my wallet along, so I called up my mother, who's at a clinic coz my sister had a severe stomachache. After that she came over to pass me money and told me to meet her at the supermarket. Turns out that she wanted to buy milk powder and milk bottles for those starving babies over at Indonesia. So yeap, I lugged home EIGHT cans of Dummex milkpowder and 28 milk bottles.

Something's wrong with my foot. I think I injured it somehow. It hurts like mad when I walk. So I was limping all the way to Loyang Point. Ouch.

2004-12-24T01:05:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas!!!

Today is a day of mixed emotions. The day started off pretty well, except that I woke up really late, coz I'm just sooo tired. I mean I've been sleeping past 1am every single day for the past few weeks. Who wouldn't be tired? Opps, I'm digressing. Anyway, I met my section at Pasir Ris MRT station and we went White Sands; them to have lunch, me to do some last minute Christmas shopping. Then I met Aiysha, did the introductions and all and the both of us parted with my section to go NTUC Fairprice.

Yeah, we had to get cream to spread on the swiss roll to make a log cake. Unfortunately, the chocolate cream was sold out, so we bought the vanilla one. Then we left for my house to go set up the BBQ and all. I had to go fetch the guys, Cheryl, Shu Qi and Marl from the MRT station and I was gonna pass Dan his Christmas present before that. And then... something really terrible happened that made me wanna cry. Of course I can't, not in front of my juniors. It totally ruined my mood for the upcoming BBQ. But I tried not to think about it, and more or less got my mood back. Yeap, of course, with both my best friends, Aiysha and Ahmad there. I was really happy.

The BBQ was pretty fine, really. Except that I barely ate any food. A quarter plate of bee hoon, a nugget and an escargot (however you spell it). I was too busy getting everything organised and going. Frankly, guava cordial and Sprite ice actually tasted good! Exotic man! Anyway, we all played some games. Aiysha played her clarinet, I played my violin and the gaohu, so did Wenda and Xin Yi, on the erhu of course. We also played Telephone Lines and laughed madly as the message turned out really warped and all.

Hey, it's a pity no one noticed the mistletoe... or we have had a bit of fun... Haha! Just kidding. Anyway, some of my section mates are sleeping over. Which probably meant that we're gonna sleep in the wee hours of the morning. And ugh, tuition tomorrow morning. *groans*

2004-12-22T20:13:00.000+08:00

Jingle bells... Jingle bells... Jingle all the way...

Christmas is definately my favourite holiday! It isn't just about all the presents, but Christmas gives me a really warm and joyful feeling inside me. I worked myself into a frenzy these few days shopping for presents, wrapping presents, making presents, writing Christmas cards, decorating the Christmas tree at home and the house, especially the porch and at the same time, juggling CO practices, my holiday assignments, my tuition homework and violin practices. I don't know how I survived all those, but here I am, well and alive.

Today I went out with Talz and her friend, Melody, from Taiwan, who's here for a holiday and to visit Talz. We walked around City Link, spent most of our time in MPH and HMV, then we dropped by Esplanade. Fun day, but I was so tired.

You know, Russell Watson has a very fantastic, powerful, deep, and rich voice. I was listening to his CD today, as well as Josh Groban and this lovely CD, "Eternity" which I wanted to buy, but my mum complains that I've been spending too much money this holiday. Well, it's not like I can't live without the CD. Sarah Brightman rocks too! Lovely voice.

I just read "Anna and the Duke"! Oh, it's such a lovely book! One hilarious part was when Ewan got mad because Marion doubted his rank so he calmly said "And incidentally, I'm not a 'mister'. Even without my father's title, I'm the Earl of (something which I can't remember). You may address me by either title. I also have lesser ones as well, Viscount (something which I can't remember again) and Baron (again, I forgot). You may take your pick."

The sequel, "Emily and the Scot" is really good too! An Avon True Romance books are really nice. Did I mention that "Nicola and the Viscount" has possibly the most perfect ending which I've ever read? It's the friggin' good! At MPH today, Talz saw this book titled "101 Things To Do Before You Die". We almost died laughing reading it. Gee, here I go again, rambling on and on about books. Sorry, I just can't help it. *smiles sheepishly*

By the way, Happy 15th Birthday Joe!!

2004-12-17T20:57:00.000+08:00

1234, 1234, 1234... Follow the pulse... Don't rush... Crescendo... Decrescendo...

This entire week has been filled with intensive CO practices. 8.30am - 5.30pm from Tuesday till today. I feel an inch from death. Tuesday was a day camp. Wednesday to Thursday, we stayed overnight in the school.

I had to conduct all self-practices and I had to shout all the time to make myself be heard above all the noise. That resulted in my voice becoming hoarse and I sound like a frog today. Well, maybe not that bad, but you get the idea.

The camp was tiring. Really tiring. But Confidence Walk and Water Bomb was fun. I had to scare people for Confidence Walk and my greatest assest is my waist-long hair, which I swept in front to cover my face. June and I went to scare people together. We successfully scared more than 7 people.

I felt so sick last night that I slapped an ice pack onto my pillow and slept on it. I had this killer headache, a croaky voice, aching limbs and I was feeling warm and cold at the same time. Thank God I felt better today.

There's gonna be a section bonding session at my house next week. Yup, a Christmas Barbecue and my section is coming over. Looking forward to it. I'm so disappointed about the new Christmas Tree my dad bought. It does not in any way resemble a Christmas Tree! It's just this junk of triangle shaped metal. I'm so upset. I was so excited about it. And they threw away the old tree coz it's spoilt. Hmph...

2004-12-11T18:53:00.000+08:00

Tick tock tick tock tick tock... For the entire week, I've been sleeping at about 2 or 3 am in the morning. Ask me what's insomnia? I'll tell you all about it. Now I feel like a dead man. Correction: Dead woman. I was swaying like a rag doll in a blizzard on the bus coz I was on the verge of falling asleep. Almost hit my head on the pole, but that might have been a good thing coz there's no doubt that it would definately wake me up and I get to see stars! Riiight...

Anyway, we had CO practice in the hall today and Chang Cheng Sui Xiang suddenly sounded so yucky. Everyone sounded so soft, I could barely hear. Conductor kept urging us to play louder and louder. I complied. The results? Yeah, Chang Cheng sounded better, but my right arm almost dropped off. All those tremolos and usage of full bows...

Then we played Di Tanjong Katong. The gaohu solo, sadly, does not sound very nice, moving and emotional. Gotta work on that. After lunch break, we played Jing Chu Xiong Feng. Yeah, one of my favourite pieces. Then we had to split for self-sectionals, conducted by Xin Yi and me.

We had to practise our ensemble piece, Chang Shan Ge. This piece has so many slides that I thought the friction produced between my finger and the string was gonna burn off the skin on my index finger. Ouch. Since whenever Xin Yi and I conduct together, we get no chance to practise with our section, so we decided to both sit in front with our instruments and take turns conducting. Two heads, are afterall, better than one.

My dad decided to convert those two tanks at home to marine tanks. I just spent a good deal of my dinner time watching the starfish crawl up the tank wall. The fish tank had transformed from a barren dull tank to this... this vibrant, colourful marine tank with corals, clown fish, shrimps, a sea snake, starfish, brightly coloured fishes and ugh, a sea cucumber and many more creatures and fishes, of which I have yet to identify.

I've got tuition tomorrow, what a bummer. CO Camp is next week, I can't wait for the Confidence Walk. Alright, I'm feeling really really lethargic and woozy...